Take this job.......

As it turns out, quitting a working environment that you hate is a lot harder than you would think.

The thing about a work environment is that it contains actual people. People whom you have built relationships with, friendships, people you trust and people you admire. I couldn't wait to get out the door, but kept feeling myself pulled back cause I had to say bye to just one more person.

The weird thing is that I know I will see at least 50% of these people again, some of them frequently. But the fact that I will not be seeing them every day, and won't have them for support anymore, it's scary.

The hardest part is that this was a quick thing - I got my offer yesterday, and was given an ultimatum on Monday by my current boss (which I found extremely offensive and insulting, and made me MAD), so in a span of 24 hours I have decided not only to take on a new job, but to also leave my current job, without giving notice, so that I can have some time to clear my head of all their garbage.

And the absolute WORST thing is that I really love my team. I have worked really hard for them, and they all work SO hard for me. I felt like such a terrible person telling them that I was leaving them like this - practically abandoning them. But they all seemed to understand, or at least they told me that to my face. I think they see all the changes that are happening, and they don't feel comfortable with it themselves, so I'm sure they can imagine what I've been going through.

The BEST part is that I feel so good about finally taking control of my situation there. I know I'm not the only one there who has been trying to get ahead, and taking the knocks thrown at me, and just dealing and trying to move forward. The only thing is that it seems like for every step you take forward, if you have any kind of opinion or new ideas, you just get pushed back even further in the next change that comes about. And then you start to be bitter, and unhappy, but you can't change anything, so you just take it, but complain and are miserable all the time. I'm so proud of myself for just not taking it anymore, and even though change is scary, I'm excited at the same time.

This is by far the sappiest post ever. I apologize, and I'll try not to do it again.

To Ink or not to Ink

I'm thinking about getting another tattoo. I'm not sure if it's the tattoo addict in me, or the fact that I'm ready to start a new part of my life and this will solidify that, or maybe it's the fact that I'm obsessed with Miami Ink and it makes me want to go out every Tuesday night and get a huge-ass tat that covers my whole back. I'm not sure, but I do know that I have two tattoos that I LOVE LOVE LOVE, and one that I don't like so much, just cause the artist screwed it up, so I feel totally willing and ready to get something, but it has to be THE one cause I'm running out of space that is cute, and able to be shown, but still able to be hidden when it needs to be.
Right now I'm thinking about getting this one:My sister has an abbreviated version of this (the star only, without all the swirly-ness), but I'm partial to this one. We'll see.

In other news, I have to call the recruiter at my Possible New Job tomorrow, cause she left a message that she wants to discuss my offer. I have my fingers crossed because work has been absolutely rancid lately, and I can't wait to get the hell out of there. I wish I could take all my fave colleagues with me, so they don't have to deal with the mess once I'm gone. The whole situation is so terrible, so ------ uuuuuuugggggghhhhhhh.

I'm watching Rockstar: INXS, which I'm obsessed with because it's so fun, and I actually like the music they are performing. So far I'm rooting for Jordis, Suzie, and JD. Jordis is amazing, Suzie is the underdog who is actually very good, and I like JD's cockiness, even when he sucks he's entertaining. I can't stand Mig and Ty, I feel like they belong on Broadway, not in a band, and am indifferent to Marty. If anyone reading watches, tell me what you think.

I also find it hilarious that, at the end of every elimination show, they say , "Name of person, we're really sorry, but you're just not right for our band, INXS." It's like they get paid some kind of royalty every time they mention the name of the band. Or they think we will forget the name of the band. Even though it's in the title of the show.

I also find it strange that they NEVER mention, nor have mentioned, Michael Hutchins.

In closing, please tell me what you think, about anything. So far the only commenter is my sister, and I'm pretty sure that as of this weekend she won't have computer for a while, so my life will be empty without her. So sad.

Random Specks of Happiness on a Sunday night.

Tomorrow, or Tuesday maybe, I will hopefully have my offer. I am trying not to get my hopes up, because who knows if the offer will be any good, plus, my iPod broke again this weekend, and looks like I will have to send it in for service, so that doesn't seem like a very good sign to me. So sad.

Sometimes, I get a craving to watch the Sopranos. I'm lucky right now, cause the repeats are on for two hours at a time all summer, but then what? I have been trying to convince Sexy Boyfriend (read on about the name) to buy all the seasons on DVD, but he keeps saying no no no. It's probably a good thing, cause on my days off I'd probably do nothing but watch Sopranos all day long.

I listen to a PodCast called the Mary and Karla Show, and it's really funny and random and I enjoy it immensely. If you have iTunes and know me at all, and think you share my sense of humor, I think you should subscribe. Anyway, on this Podcast, their producer is the boyfriend of one of the hosts, and instead of calling him by name, she just calls him Sexy Boyfriend. I think this is hilarious, and since my boyfriend/fiance doesn't want to be mentioned on my blog, I decided that I would call him Sexy Boyfriend as well. I hope Mary and Karla don't mind.

I realize this post has been extremely random, but it's Sunday and I don't have a whole lot to say that doesn't concern work. And work is depressing. When I get depressed, I like to visit Kitten War, and I suggest you do the same.

Some people lose their shirt at the casino

While Mummy was here, we paid a visit to the casino. The casino is pretty fun, but since I have a pretty compulsive disposition for online computer games that involve little to no thought, it's usually best that I either a) go to the casino with no more than $20 in my pocket, or b) don't go to the casino. I'm sure if slot machines were free, especially those fun videogame-type ones with lots of fun music and cool character things, I could sit there for hours and hours and hours. However, they are not free, and I'm not particularly lucky, so I usually just don't visit the casino at all.

To get to the casino, we took my car. Parking is free in a giant parking complex, which is one thing I love best about the casino - sometimes tourist stuff isn't so fun when you have to give the finger to like five people on your way there, and then drive around for half an hour looking for parking. But the casino is out of the way, and if you don't go on the weekend, traffic isn't that bad, and parking is free. Once, we did go on the weekend, and not only was parking free, but it was so packed we got free valet service. There's something about valet service that excites me.

When we tired of losing all our money (me, $2, my Mummy, $20, her boyfriend, I lost count), we decided to leave and get something to eat. Approaching the parking complex I said "did we park in P3?" and my Mummy said, "Yes, I'm sure we parked in P3". So we went to P3, and walked along the little pedestrian pathway, and then turned off where the car should have been.

But alas, it was not.

I tried the "Panic Button" trick, where I press the panic button on my key, and the horn sounds, and we all laugh about how we're one row over, and pile in. But no horn sounded. No beeping at all, nor lights for that matter. Silence.

At this point I began to panic, because there had just been an article in some newspaper about how like 10 zillion cars a year get stolen from the casino parking lot and when I heard that I said something to the effect of "My Jetta will never get stolen cause she's super-smart and has a nifty alarm, and she'll be mine forever."

Wandering through P3, I almost crapped my pants at the fact that she might be gone forever.

We then decided to try P2, the next level up. This should have been the natural next step before my heart leapt out of my body and I lost control of bodily function, but of course I went straight to panic mode. But there was Jetta, in P2, safe and sound beside the same Porsche SUV we met when we came in. I clicked "Unlock" like four times to hear her reassuring greeting.

When we got in the car, before putting the key in the ignition, I hit the steering wheel with both hands and shouted: "Jetta, don't ever scare me like that again!! I thought you were gone forever!! You almost gave me a heart attack, god dammit!" Mummy gave me a funny look, but didn't say anything.

Cracked

I took today off work with a migraine. I didn't really get migraines until the last year or so, and wasn't really sure they were actually migraines. But, the doctor seems to think they are, and has given me some lovely medication to treat them. It's nice that this medicine gets rid of the headaches, and it's super fun that I get stoned out of my tree, but a side effect of being stoned is not being able to go to work. So sad.

Sometimes, I think my cat is on crack. He randomly will start scratching things and throwing thing, and meowing restlessly. It gets really really annoying. He'll open the cupboard that has all the animal treats and grooming stuff in it and start banging things around in there. He doesn't search, he doesn't take anything out, he just sits in front of it, finds something that's noisy (like a box full of rattly treats) and pushes it, pushes it, pushes it. I yell. He pushes. I get up and shut the cupboard, he runs away. Five minutes late he's back, popping the door open and rattling around again. Tonight he found two elastics (the big blue ones that Canada Post sometimes wraps your mail in) and went after them like a maniac. I had to take them away, cause he would eat them, and his eyes got all big and he tried to attack my hands. Sometimes this behavior accompanies the full moon, but sometimes it's completely random. Maybe he's getting into the sauce when I'm not looking.

Surprise Mummy visit

Monday night when I got home from work there was a message on my phone:
"Julie, it's your mother, I'm coming to Montreal tomorrow, talk to you then. Bye."

Since my mom lives like 10 hours away by car, this is not a message that I regularly hear. She and her boyfriend arrived yesterday in the morning, and I picked them up at the airport and we hung out before work. Last night, as I worked til 10pm, I had visions of them stranded somewhere waiting for a bus or something on the wrong side of the road and looking pathetic with their bags and getting splashed by passing motorists. But, apparently they did okay.

Today we went to the casino, and then had lunch, then I dropped them at the airport for their flight back. A busy little visit, but nice to see Mummy.

So, today was the deadline my possible new boss (PNB) was supposed to possibly get back to me about a possible new job. I was thankful to be occupied with visiting and touristy stuff cause otherwise I would have no ends left on my fingers (when I get really nervous, anxious, stressed, or bored, I chew my nails and pick at the skin around. It's disgusting, I know, but I've been doing it since I was like 2 so I've given up all hope of stopping and have accepted it as one of my lifelong vices.)

When I got back from dropping Mummy at the airport, I checked my answering machine, then cell voicemail, then my email. Nothing. I was so sad. My PNB told me "If you don't hear from me, call me, cause it's busy at the store and I might forget if I get swamped." So, I called her.

GREAT NEWS!!!!!

I'm getting an offer, but it will be in writing so they will either mail or email it, and I won't get it until early next week :( I really wanted to quit tomorrow, and never go back to that dirty, rotten, miserable, crusty, mother-fornicating place, however, I will have to wait to make my grand departure next week.

In other interesting news, Omarosa (see previous post about the Axis of Evil) apparently has a master plan, that does indeed include me. That's funny, I wasn't aware she even recognized my existence. So, she was going to be discussing this with my boss today. That's also funny, that's she's actually letting us all in on the joke this time. Usually she just shanghai's us and laughs her way back to the corner office. Tomorrow should be interesting.

Simon says "Now THAT's a fat neck!"

I guess I shouldn't focus so much on how much I hate my job, so I've decided to post about something that actually makes me happy.
My kitty-cat, Simon.

Simon is five and a half, and is the sweetest kitty in the whole world. I know some of you will say, "Well, my kitty's pretty sweet - ", but I assure you, you need to stop kidding yourself cause this cat is the sweetest.

He has a big fat belly, and likes to lay beside me and purr, then roll on his back so that I might scratch said fat belly. When I don't pet him immediately, he will reach over and (lightly) scratch me in the leg, or arm if he can reach. When I pull away quickly cause it hurts, he teeters a little further over as if to say "Can't you see my gorgeous, soft, cuddly fat belly here just waiting to be scratched?" And then of course I rub his belly for a minute, and he falls asleep upside down. Scho schweet.

Now that I'm semi-happy after my long day at work, I would also like to add that I think it's hilarious that people are calling pregnant Britney Spears "Fat Neck". I mean, I've never been pregnant, but I've known some pregnant people, of all sizes, and ne'er a one has turned out as gross-looking as she is. Most pregnant ladies look super cute. But not her.

The Axis of Evil

So, I have to return to work tomorrow. I was hoping to have a new job squared away by now, and although it looks like there will probably be an offer this week, that's not enough for me to say screw it and not show up tomorrow.

Our call center is run by what we refer to as the Axis of Evil, X and Y. We aren't sure what their credentials are except that X looks like Omarosa and Y has a certificate in esthetics. I guess it goes to show that you get what you pay for.

I'm sure it's rare for people to really like their bosses and enjoy working for them, but I would be happy if they were at least competent.

100 Things

1. I have two dogs and one cat who I treat like children
2. I have a boyfriend of 7 years - we got engaged a few months ago.
3. I have two Bachelor of Arts degrees - one in Biology and one in Creative Writing. Don't ask.
4. My favorite color was blue, but I think it's changing. I'll let you know.
5. I have three tattoos
6. I hate my job so much I want to rip my eyes out. This was actually an alternative title for my blog, but got edged out.
7. My grandfather has been saying I have a memory like a steel trap since I was three. I'm still not sure what that means.
8. I like to play with punctuation - the - dash - is - my - favorite.
9. Within the next year I want to live in a house with a yard.
10. I want the yard so my dogs (who are 10 and 11) can retire in comfort.
11. I can hold a grudge like nobody's business
12. I rarely seek vengeance.
13. When I do, I'm usually not as mean as I want to be.
14. My taste usually outweighs my budget by at least 100%.
15. I love buying gifts.
16. When I'm upset, I usually crave potatoes in one form or another.
17. When I was little I used to talk to myself - my grandfather said it meant I would be rich one day. Still waiting......
18. I'm a slave to TV, and strive every year to cut down my TV watching schedule. I always get sucked in.
19. I hate cooked peas, but love raw ones.
20. My cat is my favorite pet. Don't tell my dog.
21. I have a hard time saying no. Really.
22. I get jealous of other people's good fortune.
23. I don't have a problem saying "I'm so jealous of you"
24. I was born with a hole in my ear.
25. My grandmother is still the most influential person in my life, even though she was only part of it for 10 years.
26. I have two sisters. I hate when people point out they are my half sisters.
27. My dad died when I was 5 months old. I think this should make me sad, but it doesn't. It just makes me curious.
28. I have best friends from every stage of my life, and can't decide who my maid of honor should be.
29. I will probably postpone my wedding until I can decide.
30. I'm a clutterbug.
31. I'm very sentmental about objects, which greatly contributes to my clutterbuggedness.
32. I usually don't care about grammar on paper, but can't stand it when people speak incorrectly.
33. I hate reading anything written before 1900.
34. I would love to own a bookstore.
35. I've had writer's block for over a year.
36. I have seen the movie "Whale Rider" at least ten times. I still cry at the end.
37. REM has been my favorite band since Out of Time. I even love New Adventures in HiFi.
38. I've seen REM in concert only twice.
39. I have one Polish friend who taught me two Polish words: MAŁPA MAJTKI. It means Monkey Panties. She's the best.
40. I have weight issues, and usually put on weight when I'm depressed.
41. I've put on over ten pounds in the past month.
42. I cry when I'm (mad, sad, stressed) and am forced to have a conversation.
43. When I'm really mad, I just don't talk.
44. I can type at least 400 words per minute. Okay, I have never actually really measured. But it's really fast.
45. I drive a 2000 VW Jetta, and I'm really sad that I didn't trade her in for a new one before they came out with the new model. I guess I will keep her until they make another one as cute as she is.
46. I love choosing new paint colors for rooms.
47. I get tired of the painting project about halfway through.
48. I always fall asleep in the car.
49. One of my dreams in life is to own a doggie daycare.
50. I hate snow and have seriously considered giving up all of my democratic rights and moving to Cuba. (Sun, beach, rum, cigars, what's better than that?)
51. My tolerance for alcohol is even better than it was in university, and I only drink about 1/15th as much.
52. I love Coke, and Diet Pepsi, but hate Pepsi and Diet Coke.
53. Seeing my own blood makes me feel faint.
53. I am terrible at keeping in touch with people. Maybe the blog will help a little.
54. I'm usually shy around strangers, and have been told that sometimes I scare people who don't know me.
55. When I thought my iPod was broken, I cried in my car.
56. When I fixed my iPod myself, I yelled "Yay, I fixed it." and my boyfriend just said "ah, yeah" and kept watching TV.
57. I need it to be cold in order to have a good night's sleep.
58. I just started collecting first edition books.
59. I love Starbucks, and am sad that we don't have more of them in Montreal
60. I'm a world class procrastinator.
61. I have no discipline.
62. I shop to cure depression.
63. Sometimes trying on clothes makes me more depressed.
64. I love to run and would choose running over any other 1-man exercise.
65. I hate feet and force my boyfriend to wear socks 90-95% of the time I'm around him, especially to bed.
66. Sometimes I can't sleep because I think he's trying to trick me and has taken off his socks.
67. I don't like children. They make me uncomfortable 80% of the time.
68. I'm pretty sure I've seen every single episode of all Law and Order series, including the two-hour special return of Mike Logan on the regular Law and Order that aired in the '98-99 season. I'm so glad he's coming back to Criminal Intent.
69. I get crushes on weird celebrities.
70. I don't remember much about half the stuff I've studied.
71. I've thought about signing up for one of those pharmaceutical company studies that pays compensatory indemnities.
72. Bad driving annoys me and I often honk and/or give the finger to at least one person on my way to work.
73. My road rage-ish tendencies have scared at least one of my friends.
74. I've never had an accident or a traffic ticket.
75. I believe in knocking on wood, and just did so to avoid getting into an accident or getting a traffic ticket this week.
76. Turning 20 made me really sad, and I'm scared I'll feel the same about 30.
77. One of my dogs scares me. He has bit me in the foot on more than one occasion.
78. I love Italy, especially Rome, and can't wait to go back.
79. I've never been to New York City.
80. I hate golf, but if I played it, I'm sure I'd been one of the people who throws their clubs when they're mad.
81. I own every issue of the last six years of Martha Stewart's Weddings magazine.
82. I say "That's right" a lot.
83. I'm pretty sure I'm a handy person, but am usually too lazy to actually do anything handy.
84. I love Winnie the Pooh - less than I did a couple of years ago, but still significantly.
85. I am obsessed with animals who have long necks - giraffes and ostriches are my favorites.
86. I really want to pet a tiger before I die.
87. I only recently overcame my fear of rollercoasters - now I want to go to Disney World!
88. I am terrified of deep water and almost drowned while trying to snorkel in Cuba cause I was in such a panic.
89. I'm usually a great judge of character, and when I'm wrong about someone, I'll admit it.
90. I hate hypocrites.
91. The only jewelry I wear are: one pair of earrings, my engagement ring, and the ring Eric gave me the second birthday we were together.
92. I'm terrible at doing my hair. If I'm running late, I get so stressed about it I start to perspire. This makes it even worse.
93. I don't smoke, but don't mind when people around me do.
94. I've partaken in very few illegal drugs and for the most part was unimpressed.
95. I love when it rains really hard.
96. It doesn't matter how many hours of sleep I get - if I have to get up before 10 AM I am usually cranky until noon.
97. I no longer have my tonsils, adnoids, and wisdom teeth.
98. My favorite fast food is still McDonald's, even though I worked there for like five years.
99. My goal is to have a job I don't really care about so I can actually get some writing done when I'm at home.
100. Sometimes I find very inappropriate things hilarious, and have trouble holding in my laughter.