I'm 99.99% sure it's not herpes

Last week, my hands broke out in a disgusting mess of splotchy, itchy redness. I freaked out because I've never had hives or a rash before, and of course I called my mother, who is a nurse, and who I consult during all of my medical emergencies. She told me to take some Benedryl, and try to find out what caused the rash. I poured through my memory cache (my physical one, in my brain, not the one in my iBook) and decided that the offensive compound must be either my cucumber melon hand sanitizer or my new pear hand soap. I had been using both products for a few weeks, but they seemed to be the only things I had introduced to my skin recently. If it was the sanitizer, I could go and buy some not so fun unscented stuff, and it would still do the trick. If it was the soap, I would be very sad because it's a new pear scented one and it is ultra-yummy, but again, I could substitute for another, less fragrant soap. So I cut these two items out of my life.

Then, this afternoon, I noticed some small splotches on my hand.

I picked up two doggies, and we went up on The Mountain, and for an hour I kinda forgot about the splotches. I dropped my doggies off and got in my car and felt an over-whelming need to scratch. When I looked down at my hand, this is what I found:

Then the itching spread. By the end of my day, I had splotches all over my arms and my legs - basically all of my skin touching my jeans and sweatshirt. Right now, after two Benedryls, I still have a splotch about two inches square on my arm. I'm not that itchy anymore, except for the ones around my ankles. I have come to the following conclusion:

Snuggle Bear is trying to kill me.

Last autumn we switched to Snuggle liquid fabric softener for those times I hang the clothes out on the line. Because it was autumn, I barely had a chance to use it and probably only did like two loads using this product. During the past week, I've done two loads of laundry with the intention of hanging them on the line, and I'm pretty sure I was wearing clothes from these loads both times I broke out. Thank goodness I hadn't washed my underwear in it, but to be on the safe side I'm going to re-wash every pair in my drawer. I can just see Snuggle giggling his little ass off watching me scratch and wriggle.

Well, no more - I will be switching back to Downey. And I'm also going back to washing and sanitizing my hands. So take that Snuggle Bear.