I fell down today

Literally.

Really hard.

It was on that ice that looks like snow that is leftover on the street, and you take your step too hard, because you are sure you will squish right into it, but then whoosh, away you go. It hurt real bad - I scraped both hands and my left shin/knee. It hurts way worse than it looks, though. I didn't even bleed at all. And my hands aren't bruised or anything. Although I think I have a rock stuck in my palm, but it's tiny.

I was terrified to look down at my leg - I thought for sure I had ripped open my pant leg and would find blood gushing everywhere. But no. It's not even bruised yet, but still hurts a lot.

That's been the most exciting thing in my life so far this week. We had to send our business computer away to be fixed, which is seriously fucking with my life in a very bad way, but it will be so great to have wireless again with that computer.

I was very near a mental breakdown a few weeks ago, but seem to be back on track now. I don't think my meds are as effective this time, and am going to try to get in to see a new doctor. I'm sure the weather is having a major effect on me, but I know that it can't be all that's up. Relatedly (not sure that's a word, but I like it), I have found I love Pascale Picard and recommend that everyone listens to 'Smilin' when you are feeling down.

Last of all, we are about a month away from our trip, which I am both looking forward to and really anxious about. I am going to have a really hard time forgetting about work and all the things that could be going wrong, but I know it will be so worth it that I just need to get over it all ready.