And then the snow fell, and then I died.

Wow, either I have zero readership or you guys really stink at travel advice!

I have had yet another complaint from the peanut gallery (this time NOT Mummy - thanks Mummy! - but SB! that's right, I'm calling you out!) that not only do I not post enough, but that when I do all I do is complain.

I would beg to differ. These last posts have been full of joy! and exuberance! and excitement! at the upcoming nuptials (finally!). And the rest, well, that's my life, and when something is really fantastic, I'm not stewing about it with a seething need to get it off my chest, I'm enjoying it. And when something sucks and makes me want to hang myself from our balcony, well, then I see it as prudent to try and write about it to work out my feelings before actually knotting the rope. So, I think that you could take my lack of posting as an indicator that life is pretty swell.

This week is not swell. This week I am tempted to sell my condo and buy a shack in the woods and never leave except for milk and eggs and good wireless connection. And this week is long. And it snowed this week.

So, keep those (or at least one) honeymoon destination ideas coming, be thankful you aren't a small business owner, and dig out your mittens and hats.

Winter wants to kill me

I literally almost passed out today while shovelling out my truck. I think it was a better workout than running 2 miles.

We are supposed to get more snow this weekend.

This had better be the end. Please. Please let it be the end.

I am now going to get in a hot bath.

Vacation planning is taking over my life

So the flights are booked and we found the apartment we will be renting - seems this Paris trip is really going to happen!

We have a big giant list of things we want to see and do, but if anyone has any favorite places you visited while you were there (especially cafes, restaurants, small shops, etc), please pass them along!

Our 10th anniversary is May 14th, and we will be spending the night at a fancy pants hotel just outside of Chateau Versailles - I still have to get all that booked, and we are doing that using our AirMiles, so fingers crossed it will all work out. There is a new Gordon Ramsey restaurant that is opening at that hotel as well - it is supposed to open at the end of April, so if it does we may do our anniversary dinner there. Provided it doesn't cost more than our airfare did. Which is entirely possible.

Life has been pretty boring as of late - I've been knitting socks (on my third pair) and working. This weekend is my friend Kalea's wedding and lots of our university pals are coming to town. Very exciting.

We got more snow today, so I have officially given up. I am now hibernating until it all goes away. Simon agrees.

Status update

Christmas gifts: NB gifts: still not sent; SB's: still not purchased. This is a problem. Hopefully we can send off the New Brunswick gifts tomorrow. And hopefully they will arrive on time. Hopefully SB will quit telling me he wants a new rug and a new vacuum cleaner for Xmas and pick something fun.

Work: glad I put that "leave us alone, we're booked solid" message on the voicemail. Much less stressful this week in the whole message-taking department. Snow = making my work day hell. Also, am pretending Xmas is still four weeks away so I do not throw myself into cardiac arrest thinking about all the crap I'll be scooping next week (that is literal).

Snowstorm: big fat pain in the ass as usual. Our street hasn't even had the sidewalks cleared yet. Some of the main roads had one side done last night and will have the other done tonight. Oh, and here's a fun story. Today while traveling down a one-way street I got stopped up behind a line of like four cars. I could see that in front of them there was a BMW sedan trying to get out of a parking spot, but it's pretty icy out there, so he just kept spinning his wheels. Big shock, none of the asshole guys in front of me were getting out to help. Cars lined up behind us and started honking. There were probably about 20 cars back there when I got out and helped the guy push his car out. It took about 7.7 seconds. I gave the men in the cars in front of me dirty looks as I passed them on the way back to my truck. Come on people. Just come on.

I have been talking a lot about the snow lately (believe me, I would be very happy if it would just go away so I could stop talking about it) and I realize that people outside of our fair city probably have no idea what kind of hell I'm talking about. Here is a description.

a) snow falls

b) snowplows go around pushing snow off the roadway, but up against all the parked cars. This makes a nice little den for your car. Perfect for hybernation. Not perfect for getting to work.

c) snow fall ends

d) you have to work, so you dig out around you car (about 1 foot on three sides, and under the tires) and ram your way out of the snow bank.

e) the city puts up "no parking" signs on the side of the street where they will be plowing. They either prohibit parking all day or all night.

f) theoretically, if you work at a normal job, you drive home and have to fight with the snowbank to park your car. Usually I like the ram and slide method, wherein I ram either the front or back end into the space, hope to catch the tracks of the person who left, and hopefully slide into the spot. I do not work a normal job, so I generally fight with about 6-10 snowbanks per day with all my picking up and dropping off of doggies. I am a very good shoveller now. Very efficient.

g) the city passes for snow removal. This is actual physical removal of the snow. First a special sidewalk plow passes and pushes all the snow onto the street (where no cars are parked because of the helpful orange signs). Then a big giant snowblower passes, accompanied by a big giant dump truck. The snowblower blows the snow into the dump truck, and then the dump truck takes the snow away (they usually dump it in the St. Lawrence, I think).

f) everyone starts getting into fist-fights for parking spots on the good side of the street.

g) repeat the next day.

So, it takes at least two days to clear a street, and when you live on a small street like we do, you have no idea how long it will take them to actually get to your street. It's all very efficient, as you can see. (sarcasm intended).

And so there it is

Of course we get a major blizzard the day of our holiday party. Everybody still made it, which was awesome, and the food was great, restaurant was quiet, it was pretty great. After the party we drove home one of our employees and decided to help her dig out the work van from the alley where she parked it so that it wouldn't have to be dug out in the morning.

Three hours later, we finally got our truck into the alley (forging the path - probably about 100 yards) unstuck the van from the parking spot (requisite "digging out" that anyone with a car has to do at least once), unstuck our truck while trying to turn it back around (alleys are narrow y'all, and forward motion tends to work better when trying to gain momentum), drove our truck out of the alley, and drove the van out of the alley.

When we got home I begged SB to just ram the truck into any random snowbank and that I would worry about digging it out in the morning. He obeyed for about 7 minutes - I showered, then under pretense of walking the dogs he went back outside. Such a sweetie. Made my morning much easier today, that's for sure, but I sure did feel guilty.

One plus to shoveling snow in the bitter cold for three hours is that you get to see how warm your Uggs really are. Very warm. And my feet didn't get wet inside, either. Amazing. I highly recommend them - cute and practical.

Now we wait for them to remove the snow. Last time it took a week. If it takes a week this time, you may just see me on the news wanted for homicide.

Dear Snow,

I hate you.

Why do you always come on a Sunday, just in time to ruin our entire work week? Why don't you come on a Thursday, or even a Friday? Then the worst of the removal would happen on the weekend. You know, when my employees aren't working that much. Because as much as I love paying them for all the delays you cause like being stuck in traffic, or being stuck behind moron people who stop in the middle of the road because they can't find parking, or just plain being stuck because they are mindful to park off of the road, and in the snow, which sometimes is deeper than it seems, as much as I love paying for all that, it would be nice to just not have to deal with it for once.

Snow, for once I wish you would just cooperate. Or at the very least, facilitate your own clean up, and get it done quickly. Because I'm pretty sure I'm going to develop angina before this winter is over. And carpal tunnel. From shoveling out my truck forty times in one day.

Thanks.

Forever hating you,
Jules

Here I am!

It has been suggested to me that perhaps it is time to post again. I can't say that the week off hasn't been nice, but I have tons to write about now.

This week has been extremely crazy. Pretty much every day something was happening that was "post-worthy" but I just didn't have the time or energy to write anything. So, here's a quick wrap up:

1. Big Giant Snow Storm ruined my life
2. One of my favorite dogs that we walk had to be put down
3. I met with about 6,798 new clients, which promptly caused me to have panic attacks
4. I received a big giant package of books that I had ordered and that felt gooooood.
5. The pharmacist gave me the wrong medication

Monday we woke up to about 30cm of snow on the ground, which is all very nice and pretty but it makes it a bit difficult to get around. Sunday night they wouldn't stop talking about the impending storm on the news and I almost had to break out a paper bag. We have one employee who travels from Laval and who has a very full schedule so I was positive she was going to get stranded and we would be screwed.

Luckily she made it, and everyone else was able to get around as well. We had a few clients cancel because they didn't want us to be out on the roads just to walk their pooches, but most everything went off as normal.

Probably the biggest challenge about snowstorming in Montreal is the snow removal process, or lack thereof. It's disgusting, really. Today is Friday. There is still 3 feet of snow on pretty much all streets. Yesterday, St. Laurent Blvd (aka the Main, aka one of the major South to North arteries in the city) was still down to one lane. The city says they had over 3,000 snow removal people working every day this week, but unless it takes 300 people to operate every snow plow I've seen, then I don' t know where these workers are. And even worse than the traffic due to lane closure is the parking situation. Every morning I have to dig out my truck to get out of the snowbank I rammed it into the night before to park. But that's not all! Because my job involves driving from client's house to client's house, I am often ramming into several snowbanks every single day. Which gives me the opportunity to break out the little shovel on average four times per day. Wow, thanks Ville de Montreal! Without you I wouldn't be sore in my quads, shoulders, biceps, and the heels of my hands!

More from the list to come....