Wanting

Lately I have been feeling guilty about all the things that I want.

I realize that I am a very very lucky person. I have someone I love, I have a fantastic home that I love, I have three little furry babies who I love and who make me smile every single day. But every day I find something else that I want. I become convinced that it will add value to our lives, that we need it. But lately I have been trying to evaluate where this sense of need comes from.

I think it's natural to want things, and I think it's healthy to have goals, and to want to surround yourself with things you love. But what is excessive? And what is normal? And is normal really normal, or is it just us imitating what seems "average" and has "average" become out of control?

In my case, I think I am trying to find a balance. There are so many things in my life that make me very very happy, but there is one giant thing that makes me seriously unhappy. I think I'm trying to drown it. I'm trying to say, "well, I can live with it, but only if I have...." Like I'm trying to fill up all the time I spend unhappy with things. In the past two months, I have felt so much happiness, and I want to keep it going, because I really loved feeling full from happiness instead of half-full from buying stuff.

I don't want to talk too much about the Giant Happiness Sucker, but I will say that now I am focusing on how to change it. It's much slower than I'd hoped - what I had dreamed would be done by November is now looking more like February or March. And while I can't possibly express how that saddens and disappoints me, I can say that I am trying to think only about how happy I will be if it happens.

Unintentional innuendo

Dinner last night was fabulous and I am so glad that I hauled my ass off the sofa to go. Almost even better was the little shopping extravaganza prior to dinner wherein I spent far too much money on new handbags and sweaters, but that is all under wraps until SB finds the carefully hidden merchandise....

When all the girls get together, there are always stories that make us laugh until things shoot our our noses. One of the stories is a staple, and gets told pretty much every time we get together because there is someone who has missed the last few get togethers and hasn't heard the story.

The staple story is one that N heard from a friend. He was out to dinner with a francophone woman he worked with and some people they would want to impress (I forget if they were bosses or business acquaintances, but you get the picture). At the end of the meal, when the waiter came around to pick up the plates the woman was in the middle of a conversation and flippantly said to the waiter, "oh, yes, I would like to take it doggy style." Now none of us in our circle of friends is able to say "I'd like a doggy bag" - we all say "can I have this to go?" because we are so terrified that it might slip out "I'll take it doggy style."

During the dinner last night, our friend T was the one who had never heard this story. And then it turns out she had a funny story of her own that involved a bit of a language barrier. She went to a dinner party at her fiance's friend's home. The friend's wife is very french, but T and her man are pretty anglo so they spent the evening speaking in english. They had a lovely wine and cheese before dinner, and were all getting along very well - the food was beautiful too. Then as the wife was clearing the cheese plates and things, she said happily, "I hope you saved room - now it's time for the intercourse!" T and her fiance were cracking up laughing and it got explained that it was the "main course" not the "intercourse". It was a good thing that they were right about the mistake and T hadn't ended up at that kind of party.

In desperate need of a day off

So, I'm tired. Almost burned out, I would say. And not that I've even probably been working THAT hard, but it's just like a ten times faster pace than I'm used to, for like ten times more days in a row than I'm used to. But I'm still tired.

The in-laws are visiting this week, and then my Mummy comes next week (yaY!). In a week it's my birthday, so I'm pretty excited Mummy will be here to meet my friends when we go for dinner. Tomorrow night is the White Stripes concert (WOOHOOOOOOO!!!), and next Tuesday we're seeing Tool (I bought SB tickets for his birthday).

Work was pretty busy there for a few weeks, but now we are back to full-staff, so it's a bit smoother. Except for one pesky client who is being REALLY annoying. They always surface at the most annoying times.

The condo is still coming together - SB is going to put up the chair rail in the dining room tomorrow, we have to finish painting the kitchen, and then we need to buy our furniture. We have picked out a dining set, but we are still completely unsure about which sofa style we want, what color is best, etc.

My first day off in two weeks will be on Saturday, so I'm pretty stoked about that.

Ooh, and I ordered books from Chapters on Friday and they arrived today - not bad considering there was a holiday in there. I love ecommerce.

Not sure what I was thinking in the first place

Yesterday I trekked to IKEA Montreal to buy a laundry hamper and some clothes hangers. They did not have the hamper that I wanted, and I was sad. But, when I checked online it said that IKEA Boucherville had them in stock. Boucherville is completely out of the way for me, but I really wanted these hampers and REALLY didn't want to go to IKEA on Saturday. So, I decided to make a fun South Shore shopping trip out of it. After going to Boucherville, (where I got my hampers - woohoo) I decided to "stop" at Promenades St. Bruno. These could nearly be construed as "on my way home" if they weren't so not actually on my way home at all. But whatever, there is a Gap and a Banana Republic, a Starbucks and a Jugo Juice.

As I pulled into the parking lot, my gas light came on. I actually noticed it, which is a big bonus since I rarely see it and it doesn't have a bell indicator. I did my little shopping trip (bought a new pair of summer pants and a tank top), and got back in the car to leave. I figured I would drive through the parking lot away from the highway I drove in on and would probably find a gas station. I completely circled the entire mall, no gas stations in sight. I took the next road out, still no gas stations and it brought me back in a complete circle to where I had started. So, I got on a secondary highway heading back into the city. Surely there would be an exit with a gas station close by.

I took the first exit, into a town that I recognized the name of, drove for like ten minutes, and still no gas station.

FINALLY I found a gas station. I pulled up, went to do the Pay at the Pump, and found that it was not in fact a Pay at the Pump, but one of the old spinning number pumps. That you have to lift the lever to get it to work. Which took me a second to figure out since I haven't seen one of those pumps since 1987. Then I had to wait in line for 10 minutes while everyone in front of me paid for their gas and 8 million lotto tickets.

What is the moral of this story, you may ask?

Stay away from the South Shore. And if you have to go, do not go alone. They want us to run out of gas so they can mug us of our high-tech technologies, like digital watches.

While you were having a wonderful weekend...

I WAS DYING!

Dying, I say.

Or at least had a very, very bad cold. Which I still have, but am fighting raucously whilst trying to prepare for air travel on Friday. I have flown with a head full of snot before, and it sucked hard.

So, Friday I woke up pretty much blown down, with a runny nose and zero energy. I had no walks, so that was a blessing, but it just kept getting worse and worse. I NyQuilled. I DayQuilled. I moaned about how I was on Death's doorstep. Sexy Boyfriend seemed indifferent.

Today I woke up feeling slightly better than I have been, meaning I wasn't leaking anymore. But then while I was dropping off the doggies from my group I was sucking on a cough drop (the menthol gets the sinuses moving), and I had one of those moments when you inhale at the exact moment that a bit of saliva is there, and then you feel like you are drowning, and then I had a coughing fit. The dogs thought it was very fun. Almost as fun as when I turn on the rear windshield wiper and scare them.

So, now I can't talk without squeaking. I will be taking more NyQuil in about twenty minutes and climbing into bed.

Which, by the way, is extra comfy because SB and I bought new pillows this weekend!!! I thought it might be good to get out of the house on Saturday (which, by the way, was so not a good idea and left me in a clammy sweat), and we had been meaning to use our Bay gift cards. They had a pillow sale, and bam, here we are with four new pillows and a whole lot of great sleep. I have been a goose down girl for a very long time, but recently began thinking that they may be contributing to my allergies, (probably not to down, but maybe the dust mites that like to live in there), so the new pillows are poly-fill and hypoallergenic. I love them.

Ya, way more then you needed to know about my bedroom, but how often does something this exciting happen?

My UGGS arrived today!!!!

I love them! They are so soft, so comfous, so warm, so soft...I'm really really tempted to wear them barefoot, as suggested, but I'm scared I will stink them up and ruin them forever. But they are just so soft, I'm fighting my inner demon trying to resist.

I LOVE THEM!@!@!@!@!@!@!!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@

(I realize how annoying excessive punctuation for effect is, but you just need to understand how much I love them).

I'm so happy, I'm going to wear them to the grocery store. And I haven't even treated the suede yet! Dangerous, but I just need to put them on my feet.

YOU WIN - but not really - but YOU WIN

eBay is the devil! THE DEVIL, I say!

First of all, you can find anything and everything on eBay. Cordless phone to replace toilet water-logged one? Hundreds of them. Lululemon yoga gear? All sizes and colors. Dog leashes? Yup. Hockey tickets? For every game. You get the picture.

Second of all, the prices are generally pretty cheap. Some of them are just comparable to stores, but overall pretty great. And once you get used to taking the shipping into account along with the price, then you really start to see the good bargains.

Third, it's so easy to place a bid. Just click, and confirm, and you're in.

Fourth, you can WIN things. But only after you WIN, you realize you didn't really WIN, like yay, free stuff, but you WIN the right to pay for the item.

Fifth, eBay is just the devil.

So, this weekend I decided I might want to buy a pair of UGGs. I had bought my sister a pair (on eBay The Devil), and she absolutely loves them and wears them every day, and I did a little research and found some really cute ones with ties and laces and I loved them. So, I found a pair on eBay that I thought I might like, and placed a bid three days ago. I was winning the auction for three days, then started to second guess myself, that maybe I didn't want to buy those boots right now. But then yesterday, about an hour before the auction ended, eBay The Devil sent me a nice email that said that someone had outbid me. Outbid? Me? I couldn't let them win my item without a fight. So I bid again. Now, don't get me wrong, I love these boots, and actually do want them a lot, but right before Christmas, with a bunch of parking tickets to pay, maybe not such a good time to buy boots. But I couldn't let this new bidder, who was just showing up at the last minute trying to cherry-pick MY bargain WIN!!!!

So, I won the boots.

Now I have to figure out how to explain it to SB. I'm afraid he might cut off my internet usage. Or just block eBay The Devil.

Revenge of the gut

Why is it so hard to find a nice, simple, boob-friendly dress? I spent the whole weekend hunting in two different malls and one outlet village for a dress. Nothing fancy. Preferably jersey knit because I am a chubby little one, bordering on plus-sized, and, generally, structured dresses or shirts or anything don't fit right in at least one area or another.

I need the dress for a wedding. I have only been to one wedding since I was twelve, and it was outdoors and not so formal. This wedding I'm going to is not formal, but not outside either, so no gown, but I would rather wear a cute dress than a skirt/top thing. Plus, I don't own any dresses, so it's a good opportunity to branch out a bit.

I tried on sheath dresses. I tried on sleeveless. I tried on halter. I tried on long sleeves, three quarter, and short. I tried on flutter sleeves. I tried on v-neck. I tried backless. I tried on wrap. I tried on prints, solids, stripes, polka-dots. I must have tried at least 75 dresses, and of those that I could actually fit in to, only three were "maybes". I just want a dress I can love. And that loves me. And my chub.

Singing the praises of the Mr. of Clean

My dog Gabby had some minor surgery today. She has had what we call, so fondly, The Eye Wart, for like six years. It's a cyst-type thing on her eyelid (like where your eyelashes are). We had it removed four years ago because it was ugly, and I thought it might scratch her cornea. It was great for about a year or two, then it grew back, meaner and uglier than ever. Actually, it wasn't as bad as it had been until about six months ago when it started to grow, then EXPLODE, then recede, then grow, then EXPLODE, etc. And when I say explode, I mean giant glops of grossness everywhere.

So, in she went for the *final* removal (since she's 12, I doubt she'll live through another four years of the grow, grow, grow, grow, grow, grow, EXPLODE cycle). We joked with the technicians that she was going in for some minor cosmetic surgery, and that if they could do a bit of lipo while they had her under, that would be great. I'm glad that she didn't have to stay overnight, and she made it through fine, but now she has two stiches in her eyelid, and has to wear one of those lampshade things until they come out.

In other news, I bought one of those Mr. Clean bathroom cleaners today - it's like a Swiffer, but has a spongy pad on the end and you use it to clean the tub and shower. It's fucking awesome. It's going to change my life, I know it. I hate cleaning the shower, but love having a clean shower. I hate how you always get cleaner or water all over you, so I usually clean the shower naked or barely clothed and shower directly after. I also hate the reaching and stretching and impossible angles associated with a really great tub clean. Well, these are problems no more my friends. Mr. Clean is my new man. I cleaned the whole shower/tub in like five minutes, and it was not clean. not clean at all. Definitely the best product I've found in quite some time.