Tuesday, November 18, 2008

For those of you who haven't seen me in a while....

prepare yourself.

Since May, I have lost 30 pounds.

Actually, I'm officially at like 33, but that's not important to you. What is important is that I will be different the next time you see me from the last time you saw me unless the last time you saw me was 1997.

I haven't been blogging about it because I am famous for writing about stuff I'm going to do, and then I don't do it, then I feel sick even thinking about it (revisit: writing as a career....)

But, this is one thing that I have kicked ass at, and I'm proud of, and yay. My body actually feels better, and I do have more energy for activity than I used to, but the point of this post is not all the wonderful things that have come with weight loss for me.

The point is, my body is different then last time I was this weight. I'm not sure where I am losing the weight, and where I am holding the weight, but right now I am ten pounds heavier than I was in high school (the last ten pounds I aim to lose, by the way) but my body is different. My chest has shrunk. And my legs are smaller. I feel I know this for a fact because I am fitting into a smaller size pants, and bra, than what I wore in high school.

But I am ten pounds heavier than I was then.

Where is the weight hanging out?

I can probably chalk the whole thing up to vanity sizing, I guess, and that would probably be the answer that would drive me the least batty.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008


I started crying five minutes ago because I was watching eTalk daily (stay with me) and they were talking about this week's Giller awards.

I didn't even know the Gillers were this week.

Who am I? What has happened to my interest, passion, and ambition for literature and writing? I have been reading All the Pretty Horses for two months now and McCarthy is a god to me. I bought 7 summer novels and four of them haven't left the shelf.

More importantly I haven't written a thing in longer than I would like to admit.

My biggest fear is that I will never do this. But I am getting closer to the point where I will be ready to admit it to myself that it's not going to happen. And if I was enjoying what I was doing instead, I may feel differently about it.

But for now, it is embarassing and it is heartbreaking.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

You know the saying about finding a penny and picking it up?

I don't think the same thing applies to $20 bills.

Last week I was having a great week. Monday was great. Things were going smoothly. I felt semi-relaxed. Also, Tuesday morning gas went down to 98 cents a liter, and then while on a walk Tuesday I found a $20 bill on the sidewalk. I felt like I had won the lottery! 98 cent gas AND $20???? Ridiculous! What great luck!

Then things started going downhill.

One of our employees informed me she would be cutting her hours back to max two days a week. This after we JUST (literally, two days before) hired a new girl to replace another employee whose last day was Friday.

Then, we had a client who decided, 45 days after service had been provided, to make a service complaint so we would adjust her bill. This complaint, 45 days after service had been provided, coincidentally came three days after the first interest charge had been applied to her account for non-payment. Hmmmmm.

Then we finally sent out our new contracts, which is going well, actually - everyone is very understanding and easy-going. However, I totally didn't think about the impact on my day that receiving responses to about 300 emails would have on my day-to-day. And also trying to keep track of who has responded "I agree".

Friday, our new employee's last day of training, she called in sick. I was terrified she was fixing to quit on us, but no, she started all by herself yesterday and that has been going well.

Today, one of our employees got hit by a car on her bike (the bad luck - it's spreading!), which is how she gets around. She is not hurt, thank heavens! But, her bike needs serious repair. We will lend her a bike, but I am soooooo worried she is going to feel crappy tomorrow and not be able to work. The schedule is so full, I have no idea how I will manage it if she can't work. Fingers crossed. She seemed fine, though, so hopefully I'm worrying for nothing.

And when I got home today, I found that my cat had thrown up on my *pristine* white sheets. They are soaking in spot treatment right now.

Anywho, all of this to say, if you see a $20 on the sidewalk, think twice before you pick it up. I'm also too terrified to spend it.