I would suck at living alone

Sexy Boyfriend is gone for a few days visiting his family. Since I have work stuff going on, I couldn't go and am home alone with the doggies and Simon.

I hate cooking for myself. I haven't cooked a real meal for the whole two days he's been gone. I have bagels for breakfast, so I guess that counts as a meal. For lunch I have had leftover pasta and then today I warmed up some frozen samosas. And some crackers on the side. Mmmm. Supper has been take-out - Quiznos, Subway.

Also, I am very lonely. I have called all my friends, called SB like four hundred times, and even spent a whole afternoon shopping. Although that was less about being lonely and more about needing some time to decompress - and spend my gift cards..... :P

When I am home alone, I rarely do things that are in any way productive. You are more likely to find me sitting on the sofa wondering if my cat ever wonders why he's the only one who pees in a box in the closet.

So, probably not the best time for experimenting....

Wowie wowie - what a crazy couple of weeks! I have made friends with more cats (for our business, not just random cats) in the last two weeks then in my whole entire life, I think. Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and Boxing Day were pretty insano - SB helped out tons, and I think there would have been some serious meltdown action if he hadn't been with me. Next year we will keep at least one staff member working through the holiday - we are just too busy for just us to take care of it. Oh, well, at least we had one year of being nice to them!

Anyway, so I haven't had a day off since......I forget, but it's been a while, and I think I will actually get a whole day off on Tuesday, so I can't wait! Today wasn't so bad because I had appointments in the morning and then at night, but had the afternoon off. I did some shopping, which was pretty relaxing, but went a bit overboard and now my feet hurt.

Last week, I started to forget to take my meds before bed. By the time I realized it, it had been almost a week. They say that when you are on "Mood Meds" that after a year of being symptom free, you usually give it a go without them, and since it has been a year since I have cried over handsoap and tampons, I thought since I was half-weaned anyway, might as well cut 'em out all together.

Bad idea. Bad, bad idea.

I haven't really been spending any time crying in my car, which is what I did most of last fall, however this morning, while administering an insulin injection to my cat friend Freddie, I started crying over a commercial about DVR recorders. Or something similar. It's the one where the dad is watching a hockey game, and the little boy comes down and says he can't get to sleep. The dad pauses his hockey game ("you can pause live TV"), and makes like he is going to get up and put the boy to bed, but then he thinks twice about it, and says, "Wanna see a great goal?" Then he rewinds the game a bit, they watch the goal, and cuddle on the couch to watch the last few minutes of the game. All the while this really great song is playing, and at the end of the commercial you hear some of the words to the song, which is a line that says "I will be the one who loves you the most." I didn't even realize I was crying until Regis and Kelly came back on.

Aside from this alleged symptom, I'm feeling a little...wired. Frazzled. Maybe manic could be a description, but I really have no idea, since I don't think I ever had manic episodes before. My head is in overdrive, I feel like I'm in fast-forward, and I always feel hungry.

So, I think I won't be skipping my meds anymore.

Fast times

How did you spend your Saturday?

Bet it wasn't by baking 30 dozen Peanut-butter Honey Crunch dog biscuits whilst watching a marathon of The Real World: Austin.

Nope, I bet none of your were lucky enough to have a Saturday that exciting.

Hitting the slopes - a little harder than I had hoped

This weekend was the first weekend of ski/snowboard season!!! We bought our season passes last week, and decided to give it a go with some night-riding last night. Now, because we haven't gotten much snow yet, the hill has been making lots but only a few trails were open. I think there were like five trails or something like that. But, two were easy, and pretty long, so we decided to get a jump on things and get me a-learnin'.

My equipment is friggin' awesome. In the past when I tried to learn I had always rented equipment, but always had problems with pinchy boots, ill-fitting stuff, wrong board sizes, etc. When I decided this would be my year to learn, I knew I should invest in my own equipment, and I am so glad that I did. I think i would have gotten more discouraged with equipment problems. Plus, my board is cute. Who doesn't want to look cute?

All in all, things went pretty well. I have semi-mastered my back edge, so instead of nice ess-curves I make kinda z's, cutting back and forth on the trail, but always facing forward or pointed down. I tried a few times to go on my front edge, but fell on my face, so decided just to do what I was good at and not force too much on the first try!

It was a pretty fun night, although with the whole not a lot of trails open thing came the problem of people off all skill levels riding the same trails. This is very annoying when you are learning, and you can hear someone whizzing down, coming towards you. It made me so nervous!!! I also had some difficulties getting off of one of the chairlifts - but the other one was no problem. I fell down WAY too much at the beginning, thus my arms are killing me. First of all, from being jammed so much into the snow, catching myself, and second from pushing myself up at such awkward angles. Today my shoulders are killing me. (My actual shoulder joints, not my back and shoulder blades). Also, my thighs are killing from always being crouched. SB said that when I start to ride on my front edge my legs will get less tired cause I'll be working all different muscles instead of the same ones.

I was so sore when we got home I had to lay on the heating pad before bed. We only did three runs in like three hours, but they were the long and windy ones, and the first one took super forever. The last one was actually pretty fast cause I didn't fall and was moving faster by that point, but my legs and arms were so sore I was ready to call it a day.

Can't wait til next weekend!

Christmas is dead

As it goes with our kind of business, Christmas is a very busy time of year. While a lot of our doggies apparently take the holidays off, the kitty cats that we sit for come out of the woodwork for the period between Dec 15 and Jan 8. Because I am a super great person and love my girls, and also don't feel like paying time and a half to them when I have to be around anyway, I will be the only one working on Christmas Day and New Year's Day. Now, New year's Day is not so bad, as per the schedule I have as of today (I have at least one addition per day these days). But Christmas. Christmas is dead.

I have 20 visits scheduled that day so far. Each visit is 30 minutes. plus travel time in between. Two of the visits are actually an hour long because it's a diabetic cat who needs to eat all of his food before getting his insulin, and he likes to take his sweet old time. If you calculate that out, it's about 15.5 hours of work. With no breaks for meals. Luckily SB has offered to help me do some of them, but I think this means I won't be cooking a big Christmas dinner.

Since I've been quite concentrated on getting the business ready for the holiday, I am not exactly in a Christmas-y mood. Last weekend SB said:
"Do you feel like getting our tree this weekend?"
"no"
"yeah, i guess it's too early."
"I don't really think I want a tree."

Silence and inner tears on his part.

Probably like ten pounds lighter

It's all gone. And I didn't even cry once.

Okay, so not all gone, but like a foot gone. You know it's serious when they put away the hairdresser scissors and break out the old-school Grade 1 teacher scissors (the metal ones that used to have a black coating, but that's wearing off so they are kinda just metal-colored with peeling black paint).

Anyway, so here is what my ponytail looked like after the fact:

So sad, so lonely, like some kind of beached sea cucumber. Admittedly, the ends are not in such great shape, but I think it will still contribute to a pretty terrific wig.

I was sweating when I arrived at the salon because I was so nervous. The girl at the front desk was super nice and told me about her friend who had done it. Then a random client was like "you're donating your hair?" and I said yes, and she was like "that is so awesome, good for you" It made me feel really great, and took my mind off of all the ways it could possibly end up sucky.

The hairdresser was really cool too - she helped me a lot figuring out what would work best rather than what would look great today and never again because I hate blowdrying my hair and am just generally hair lazy. I have seen people on TV who have this moment of breaking down when the scissors start to cut through the hair, but that didn't happen. I even liked the sound.

I can't wait for my first at-home wash. It will feel strange, having like 1/3 of the hair than I used to. Here are some photos.

In taking my own photo for this little exercise, I have discovered that I make some pretty funny faces. Also, please take note that, yes, that is indeed Degrassi the Next Generation on the TV behind me. Craig and Ashley got back together today.

More fun with Christmas commercials

Has anyone seen the new World Vision Canada Christmas ad? They now have a catalogue of items that you can purchase on behalf of your gift receiver. So you give this stuff to people in Africa in the name of someone here, in your family, etc. It's a really great idea, but I'm so not into how they advertise it. I've searched YouTube and can't find it on there, which was very disappointing.

It starts with a bunch of kids singing a version of the 12 Days of Christmas, talking about getting three hens for Christmas, two milking goats, and 1 dairy cow. Then the pretty blonde lady talks for a few seconds about giving the gift that keeps on giving, allowing families to thrive, etc, etc. She says something like "how thrilled will grandma be to see you gave a chicken in her name?"

I think they have taken a bit of a light-hearted approach to famine and drought this time, a take off from their "So This is Christmas" ad which makes me cry everytime I see it, almost as much as those WSPA commercials about the dancing bears do. I'm not sure they're tugging at enough heart-strings to get much out of it, which is sad, because like I said, I think it's actually a really great idea.

But, it has left me with a new holiday motto. I swear to you I am not making this up, it is actually in the commercial, but it is officially the response I will give to anyone who asks my advice about buying gifts for people. I will say:

"Why not give a goat?"

T-minus unknown, but I'm gonna do it

I've decided I am definitely cutting my hair off. I just need to find time for an appointment, which I think I might be able to swing this friday.

Anyway, for posterity, here is a photo of me from a few weeks ago:
Please ignore my big giant fat arm.

Anway, my hair was a little wavy (it was actually curly when I left the house at 1pm - this photo was probably taken around 8), so looks a little shorter than it is, but it can give you an idea.

Now, I'm thinking of getting a cut something like this:
With maybe longer bangs.
Or, I also really like this:
I actually think I really like the second one, but I'm a little scared.

Anyway, I'm going to bring my camera with me so I can have some photos taken before, and then when they lop my ponytail off. I hope the stylists will help me get some great shots.

I will never understand the canine digestive system

This morning I fed my dog a frozen strawberry. She was totally into it, because she loves fruit, and she also loves to crunch on ice, so this was like heaven for her. She crunched away for about 3.7 seconds.

Then she walked into the hallway and barfed all over the place. Not just frozen strawberry, but also last night's Greenie.

This she pukes up, but horse shit she has no problem keeping down.

My UGGS arrived today!!!!

I love them! They are so soft, so comfous, so warm, so soft...I'm really really tempted to wear them barefoot, as suggested, but I'm scared I will stink them up and ruin them forever. But they are just so soft, I'm fighting my inner demon trying to resist.

I LOVE THEM!@!@!@!@!@!@!!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@

(I realize how annoying excessive punctuation for effect is, but you just need to understand how much I love them).

I'm so happy, I'm going to wear them to the grocery store. And I haven't even treated the suede yet! Dangerous, but I just need to put them on my feet.

14 inches, flaccid

A few months ago, Sexy Boyfriend's mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. She's been doing great with her treatments, and so far so good, but it's only the second time I've ever known anyone with cancer. The first time was when I was in elementary school, and my neighbor who was a few years older than me had leukemia. I think I have been incredibly lucky, since it seems like this disease is everywhere, affecting everyone.

So, I've been thinking about things we can do - we've donated money to a friend doing a breast cancer walk, but that seems a bit...I don't know, like our little donation is going to make a big huge difference - it's just so obtuse or something. Then I thought about Locks of Love. And I'm thinking about doing it. I've been growing my hair for over a year, I guess, who knows really. I've lost hair direction since becoming a dog-walker - I never style it anymore, just put it in a ponytail - and since I have no ideas about what to do with it, I've just let it grow. And grow. And grow. Now it is quite long - my ponytail measures 14" and most places only require your donation to be 10" long. Hair is just hair, and it will grow back, but I've never cut my hair that short. That part of it is kinda scary, but it is winter and I will most likely be wearing a hat for the next few months.

Has anyone ever done this? What did you think about the whole experience?

For the Record

I just saw the new Hallmark Holiday Item commercial, and I just have a few thoughts about it.

First of all, I hate all of their Holiday Items - the Valentine kiss-kiss bears, some weird thing they had last Christmas, all of them. They are just a scam to get you to buy more cards and waste more paper. Not that I'm a super environmentalist, maybe I'm just a grinch, or scrooge, or whatever.

This year, the item appears to be a little snow scene, I think it was penguins skating, and it's soft and plush and when you squeeze some part of it, it plays a song. How is this kind of item useful? Not at all, that's how. Unless you have a three year old. Or dogs who like to rip the stuffing out of things.

Anyway, in the commercial, they are sitting in an airport, I think it's supposed to be Christmas Eve, and all the flights are delayed. Everyone is upset, depressed, etc (surprisingly no one is rushing the boarding gates demanding the attendants turn off the snow, like on the show Airline). Then Thoughtful Mommy pulls out the Hallmark Holiday Item and gives it to little Timmy, who squeezes it and it starts playing its joyful holiday song. Everyone gathers 'round and they all begin to feel warm and fuzzy, and they sing carols and rejoice. So much rejoicing is going on that they don't even hear that their flights are ready to board.

Baloney, I say. For the record, if I was ever in an airport, even if my flight was on time - hell, let's just say if I was in any public place ever - and someone started playing that tinny Christmas carol music that comes out of those toys, over and over again, I would take it. I would take it away and burn it. If I happened to be in the airport, where lighters and matches are prohibited, I would find some other way of destroying it. And then I would hit Thoughtful Mommy on the head, tell her to smarten up, and tell Timmy his mom is an idiot. And then the people would rejoice.

YOU WIN - but not really - but YOU WIN

eBay is the devil! THE DEVIL, I say!

First of all, you can find anything and everything on eBay. Cordless phone to replace toilet water-logged one? Hundreds of them. Lululemon yoga gear? All sizes and colors. Dog leashes? Yup. Hockey tickets? For every game. You get the picture.

Second of all, the prices are generally pretty cheap. Some of them are just comparable to stores, but overall pretty great. And once you get used to taking the shipping into account along with the price, then you really start to see the good bargains.

Third, it's so easy to place a bid. Just click, and confirm, and you're in.

Fourth, you can WIN things. But only after you WIN, you realize you didn't really WIN, like yay, free stuff, but you WIN the right to pay for the item.

Fifth, eBay is just the devil.

So, this weekend I decided I might want to buy a pair of UGGs. I had bought my sister a pair (on eBay The Devil), and she absolutely loves them and wears them every day, and I did a little research and found some really cute ones with ties and laces and I loved them. So, I found a pair on eBay that I thought I might like, and placed a bid three days ago. I was winning the auction for three days, then started to second guess myself, that maybe I didn't want to buy those boots right now. But then yesterday, about an hour before the auction ended, eBay The Devil sent me a nice email that said that someone had outbid me. Outbid? Me? I couldn't let them win my item without a fight. So I bid again. Now, don't get me wrong, I love these boots, and actually do want them a lot, but right before Christmas, with a bunch of parking tickets to pay, maybe not such a good time to buy boots. But I couldn't let this new bidder, who was just showing up at the last minute trying to cherry-pick MY bargain WIN!!!!

So, I won the boots.

Now I have to figure out how to explain it to SB. I'm afraid he might cut off my internet usage. Or just block eBay The Devil.

It's official

So, I'm officially an idiot. Or I have extremely bad luck.

The other day our living room smelled like cat shit. We keep the cat pooper in the living room, behind a chair, where the dogs can't get to it (I know, gross, but they like to have a tasty snack sometimes), so sometimes right after Simon goes I smell poo for a few minutes. But this smell I had been smelling for a few days, and always from my spot on the sofa, about ten feet from the pooper area.

I had a momentary burst of cleaning energy, and I swept the whole living room floor, pulled out the sofa and swept there, then changed the pooper, then wanted to wash all the sofa accoutrement; the pillowshams, the duvet I cuddle with, etc. So, I started the wash, dumped a bunch of stuff in, and grabbed the duvet and was stuffing it in, when I heard "plop".

My cordless phone was in the folds of the duvet, and even though I had avoided stuffing it through the wash, it flew out of the duvet and into the toilet. I fried my cordless phone by dropping it in the toilet. Wow.

Multi-tasking - perhaps not my forte

Well, now I've done it. I've come down with a cold. I think. I woke up very stuffy and throat very scratchy, then had to run around all day in the rain like a crazy dog-walker...

One of my employees has been off the past three days for a family emergency. I'm hoping she'll be back tomorrow, because, frankly, I'm exhausted. It's one thing to be a walker, which is fun, and sometimes crazy, but the days go by really fast. It's another thing to do that and mind the phone in case someone has an emergency (thank heavens none of the cars broke down this week!) , answering messages, and trying to keep on top of the emails that are coming in.

So, now I'm getting sick. I came home tonight and took a bath, which was actually just so-so since the water didn't seem hot enough, and the tub is never full enough. Then I had some chicken noodle soup (Lipton packet, with the THIN NOODLES - only the thin noodles work.) Now I'm vegging out in front of the TV with a giant headache and an achy back (but with warm feet, Gabby just came and cuddle up on them). I've tried to convince Sexy Boyfriend to bring home Frosties from Wendy's, so hopefully in about ten minutes I'll be cuddled in bed on the heating pad with him eating yummy cold chocolate treat making my throat feel numb.

Another reason against us pro-creating: We're not that observant

This morning was the first day in a a little while that we got to have a nice sleep-in Saturday. Sexy Boyfriend had hockey last night, so he got home pretty late, and by the time he had eaten something, showered, etc, it was about one o'clock before we went to sleep.

So, a nice, cool, Saturday morning sleep-in, we woke up and watched a little TV in bed, then I had to get up because I thought I might pee my pants, and I wanted to say good morning to Simon. Usually he will come in the room when he hears the TV, but not this morning. So I took peek in each room, but didn't see him. Then I called out, and all I heard was the tiniest little "meow". Not even a whole "meow" just a "me..." I moved towards the little cry, but he was quiet, so I called out again and got another "me..." - then I found him.

Sexy Boyfriend locked Simon in the closet OVERNIGHT!!!!

My poor baby kitty! He was so happy when I let him out of there, and followed me into the bedroom, purring so loudly I think our neighbors could hear him.

In other, non-real-life related things, I friggin' hate Jessica on Laguna Beach. She is the biggest loser, and I hate her. First of all, she lets every guy walk all over her, and second of all, I thought she already graduated, but she is still totally on the show all the time, like she just hangs out in Laguna and does nothing. Ugh, I hate her.

Back to Bikram

Yesterday I took my first Bikram yoga class in about three weeks. I haven't had the cash to re-up my membership, so I haven't been able to go.

It was really hard!

I could only do about half of the standing poses (I did each one for one set, since you hold each posture twice) - I felt like I was ready to pass out at some points, but fought through it as best as I could. Ugh. Even though I drank tons of water yesterday, which usually helps me get through the tough bits, I was still trying to put as much effort into the postures as I did when I was at the end of a month of yoga. But my body is so not where it was a month ago! My muscles are tight and resistant, and my joint are all creaky. So, the class was tough, and today I hurt hurt hurt. But, I know that it only gets better, and I still felt really great last night after class. It gives me lots of great energy, and totally clears my mind of stress and things that make me grrrrrr.

On the weekend we weren't able to go to a Halloween party in the country because of some work schedule issues, so I decided to get SB his birthday gift. Long story, but I had bought him a weekend rental for a motorbike (his birthday is in June), but we never had time to use it, so we ended up getting a refund, and he never got a gift. So, Thursday I spent the whole afternoon bidding on eBay and came out of it with some FABULOUS tickets for the hockey game on Saturday night against Toronto. We had such a fantastic time, had a few beers, and the seats were really fabulous. The game went into overtime, then penalty shots, and the Canadiens ended up losing (so sad), but it was very exciting and we couldn't have asked for a better game to see.

My dazzling smile

Yesterday I started using Crest WhiteStrips. I went to the dentist last week, and had a very thorough cleaning, so I thought it was the perfect time to whiten my actual teeth instead of all the fuzzy tartar and plaque that has been building up as I postponed and postponed and postponed again.

The strips are easy enough to use, as far as applying them, however it's kind of annoying keeping them on for 30 minutes. I'm the kind of person who can't leave things alone. If I get popcorn stuck in my teeth at the movies, I will rub my tongue raw trying to get it out instead of leaving it alone until I get home and removing it properly with floss. So, half an hour of these things in my mouth is almost maddening.

Plus, you aren't supposed to swallow the bleach (duh) but when it mixes with your saliva, it kinda bubbles up over the strips, so you have no choice. And it tastes bad. And the strips, with the bubbling of the bleach, feel like they are pulling away from you teeth, so you have to keep running your tongue or finger along them to re-stick them. Then I'm paranoid that I will get the bleach on my clothes, or whatever.

But besides all this, I think they work well. I notice a difference, although I wish they had come with a little whitening guide so you can find what color your teeth are when you start the process, and what color they end up. SB suggested taking digital photos, but I think it wouldn't be as accurate because you'll never have the same lighting. I'll try to remember to post a shot when I'm done my 14 days of treatment.

I just need a little more "me" time

While watching TV the other night, a commercial came on for some kind of learning game for kids. It showed the mom with the kid sitting on her knee playing this game on the TV. It made me think about how terrible I would be as a parent. I don't think I would like to play kid games. I would need a child who likes to do crossword puzzles, or who could play quietly while I did mine. And the child must knit. I would most likely have a hard time concentrating while playing normal kid games. My kid would probably grow up thinking C is for dog just because I wasn't paying attention.

You should need a psych exam to adopt a pet - and maybe to have children, too

It's not often that I come into contact with someone more whacko than I am, but every once in a while I do. Well, this weekend I had another fun encounter with the random schizophrenics of the world.

While driving back from Domino's (yes, the Domino's - the one they opened near my house!!!) Sexy Boyfriend and I saw a German Shepherd puppy wandering into the street. He looked like he was about 4-5 months old, and had a thin chain leash wrapped around his neck (no collar) and dragging behind him.

Sexy Boyfriend didn't even have to ask, he just pulled over and I jumped out of the car. I followed the pup across the road, and was able to get a hold of him. Some people at the bus stop pointed out a woman sweeping some leaves on the sidewalk and said the puppy belonged to her, so I picked him up (the leash was not dependable at all and kept slipping off his head) and went back across the road to return him.

At first I was happy that we knew his owner, and that he would be safe, but as I approached her, I realized I was wrong. She wasn't even looking up, not even aware that he may have wandered anywhere. And then when she finally looked up at me she screamed for me to put the dog down. It was extra frustrating that she couldn't speak english at all, and the only french she knew was "Thank you, bye." She kept yelling all this stuff, and I was trying to explain that her dog needed to be restrained better because he almost got hit by like ten cars when he ran across the road, then she grabbed the leash out of my hand and threw it on the ground. I tried to tell her that it's illegal for a dog to be off-leash in the first place, and that she needs to take better care. She just kept yelling, asking me if I spoke french (which I was speaking to her) and then yelling at me to go. Then she grabbed the leash and started jerking the dog around and yelling at him, then hit him with the broom she had. I SCREAMED at her (I never knew I could react that way to someone) and told her to quit it or I would call the police. When she heard "police" she turned back toward me and started yelling again, meanwhile the dog started to run away again. I ignored her, then reached out and grabbed his leash so he wouldn't become roadkill, then she yelled and HIT ME WITH THE BROOM. By this point Sexy Boyfriend finally came up the sidewalk, and I think she was freaked that we would either take her back to the mother ship for some kind of probing exercise or take the dog away, so she finally started dragging him down the sidewalk by the leash, up into an apartment.

I was so shaken up, so angry, so saddened. That poor puppy has no chance. He will grow up, either with her and become abused, angry and aggressive, or in a pound when she loses him, once he is too big to be cute; untrained, and so, undesirable. Or he will be hit by a car and die. I was crying in the car on the way home. I wish I hadn't crossed the street to bring him back to her. I wish I had just gotten in my car and tried to find him somewhere to live myself.

One year later

A year ago, I was in a pretty bad place. I was having trouble finding out who I was, where I wanted to go, and finding the courage to just do it. I had a hard time reaching out to people, leaning on people, and trusting people. I had very high expectations, not just for myself, but for the people around me. Often, to keep these expectations from not being met, I would withdraw. If the bar is not set, it's impossible to miss. I was spending my days crying in the pharmacy.

But I have come so far, and learned so much.

In the past year I have learned that things really do happen for a reason. That I have drawn from every single thing I have experienced, good and bad, and learned some very valuable lessons.

I learned that I need to listen to my instincts, do what I love, and that's when I will feel the best. Doing 100% at a job that you hate is never going to be fulfilling, ever.

I've learned that medication is fabulous.

I've learned that I need to leave myself open to friends - to reach out to them and be there when they reach out for me. Sometimes people will disappoint you, and sometimes they will betray. But the good ones, they will make you feel full. Full of life and laughter and support. And if they don't make you feel that way, then they aren't worth it.

It's hard for me to believe that a year ago I felt so helpless, and empty. Because now I am happier, healthier, more energetic. I love what I do, I love who I am, and I love everything I have around me - Sexy Boyfriend, my friends, my family, my pets.

All of this to say thank you. Thanks for encouraging me, being my crutch, being patient and supportive. Giving me the confidence to strike out and try something different, and laughing with me when I didn't really want to.

I probably shouldn't be driving yet.

We attended a wedding on Saturday - my friends Bryan and Sylvie got married. The ceremony was lovely, the food was good, and the bar was open.

As with most instances of getting too drunk, I can't remember that moment when I should have said "nothing but water for me for the rest of the night, please" but when i actually said "just give me two sangrias, so I won't have to come back to the bar for 10 minutes."

We had SOOOO much fun - sat at the same table as Ems and her SB, and some other friends from my former job from hell. There was lots of laughing, lots of dancing, corruption of Bry's 16 year old sister, shooters, people who were actually more drunk than we were, and thus very entertaining to us really drunk people. We rented a room across the street, and so did Ems and her SB, so the party kept right on going. I loosely remember crossing the four-lane road carrying my shoes, falling off of my bed (not just falling - tumbling - like gymnastic-style), playing caps, talking with Ems' SB for a very long time, then crawling back to my bed. Cut to a few hours later, around 11:30, when Sexy Boyfriend wakes me up and says we should check out. I was still drunk, for sure, but I think SB was just hungover at that point. I spent the whole day sleeping, trying to keep down water, and then spent the whole evening running to the toilet. I can't remember the last time I was so hungover. Tried to replace liquids and electrolytes by drinking some Gatorade - ended in green vomit. I know, nice, but why hold back? I also have several mystery bruises on my legs which I can't remember getting. I'm pretty sure it wasn't from falling off the bed, but not sure what else it could have been.

Anyway, so today i finally feel like a regular hangover. I dropped the keys for my employees this morning, and now I'm trying to rally myself for my group walk at noon. Ugh.

But I do think we all succeeded in bringing sexy back. What's sexier than Gatorade vomit? Nothing, that's what.

Weekend off, here I come!

Today will be the start of my first weekend off in over a month. I'm very excited, because unlike some weekends off that get spent cleaning, doing laundry, and groaning about all the stuff we have to get done, this weekend we actually have real-live plans!

It all starts tonight, when at 5:30 SB and i are going for a fabulous couples massage. Just a regular massage, but you both get to go in the same room, and there are two masseuses. I can't wait - can't remember the last time I went for a massage, but it's included in our insurance package so it's retarded that we don't go once a month.

Then, tomorrow is my friend Bryan's wedding. The ceremony is at 2pm, so I'll spend the morning sleeping in a bit, then we'll get ready and head over to the church. After that part, the reception is being held at 5, but we and another couple each rented rooms at a hotel nearby, so we will got and check in, and maybe have a few drinks, then head to the hall. I'm really excited, not just because I haven't been to a wedding in ages, but also because it's rare that we get to do couples stuff with my friend Ems and her SB, because of our work schedules, and then they have kids, and finding time is hard. It will be awesome to just relax, have fun, and have a lot of laughs.

Sunday we have no plans as of yet. Hopefully I won't be too hung over, and maybe we'll go out for breakfast or something.

Something in the air

My dog Charlie is officially out of the group.

Every day I have a group of dogs that I bring up the mountain, and lately I've been bringing my dogs too - I never used to be able to because I would have other appointments all through the day, and it was too hot to leave them in the car. But now, more often than not, my group is the only pet work I have, so doggies can come.

Charlie is a basset hound, and tends to follow his nose. When I started bring him to group, he was really good, and chugged along with the rest of the doggies, wanting to get to know them and not really sure of himself yet. Lately, he's been chasing squirrels into the woods, and disappearing for a while, then joining us again, and ya, that's pretty annoying, but he always comes back, and he's having fun, so I let him.

Then today he crossed a line. A line that from this day on will be referred to as The Puke Shit Incident. We were rounding the last bend before the car, and I was gathering everyone back on their leashes when Charlie suddenly barked at a squirrel and darted into the woods. We all started toward the car while I called him, and about a minute later he reappeared and ran to join us. Except he wasn't quite himself. No no, he was covered in The Puke Shit.

It was obvious he had found something quite exciting in the woods and rubbed his whole head and shoulders and neck in it, but what it was - well, who knows, really? It was yellowish, and slimy, and squished into his fur, but also smelled a little like poo, but looked like puke, hence the name Puke Shit. Before getting him in the car I wiped him off with all I had - some Lysol apple sented wipes. That sure made it smell nicer.

When we got home he went right to the tub, where I rinsed and scrubbed and soaped (in my clean as of yesterday tub - ugh!). He didn't get the good doggie shampoo, either. No, he got the discount kind because I had to use about half a bottle to get all the Puke Shit out of his fur. He was shaking and whining, and when we were finally done he jumped out of the tub and laid on some towels I had prepared. I kept the door closed so he couldn't get anything in the house wet while I showered and re-rinsed the tub. When I got out of the shower, he was licking and whining and shaking water off of him. Ya, like being wet and clean is SO bad compared to being covered in Puke Shit.

And so to get back at him, I give you this:

It must be a full moon

My mother has bursted my Mr. Clean bubble. On my advice, she purchased the mr. Clean bathroom doohicky, and when I squealed with delight and asked her how she liked it she said "oh, it's okay - I guess it just didn't clean my tub as clean as I would like it." I was hurt. I was devastated. I questioned my own bathroom's cleanliness. Then I remembered that my mother's version of clean is performing open heart surgery on it, and then serving up some Thanksgiving dinner on it. And then licking it. That clean. So then I used mine again, and sure enough, clean clean clean.

I have had a very terrible couple of days with my work doggies. They are all misbehaving and running off into the woods and making me mad, and then puking and diarrheaing everywhere, and the weirdest puke I've ever seen - puke that was pink and looked like cat vomit, but dog-sized. Oh, and bashing me in the face and giving me a fat lip, which went down, but then the next day my whole jaw felt like I had been in a bar-room brawl and forgot about it. So, I think there is a full moon. But have not confirmed it, although I'm sure all I would have to do is Google full moon schedule and it would tell me. But I prefer to at least pretend there is a full moon and thus an explanation for Terrible Doggie Week.

However, my week has been less eventful than my employee/friend Maria's. We have been seeing this one guy mountain biking all the time in the woods, and we both say hi to him, but because she sees him about 10 times a day and I see him once, sometimes they make small talk. Today as she was coming down the hill, she saw him sitting in the woods - he had fallen coming down a steep incline and sliced open his leg, right down to the bone. So much excitement!!! So she leashed the dogs, helped him and his bike down the mountain, and drove him to the hospital. Apparently he's okay. It was either because of the rain, and the rocks were slippery, or it was the full moon.

Fun with pets

I've been doing the yoga for about a month now. I can't say enough about how much I love doing this yoga. It's always challenging, but there is always something that happens - I can get into a pose a little further, I can hold one a little longer, one that killed me yesterday is easier today - that makes the class amazing, and I always feel like I'm high when I leave there.

One thing I am hating/loving about yoga - I have not lost any weight. Well, maybe like five pounds or something, but nothing major considering four or five weeks of work. However, I'm pretty sure I've put on some muscle, and I'm also pretty sure I have lost some inches on my thighs. Now I am kicking myself that I didn't take all my measurements from the beginning, because to me results, of any kind, are very motivating.

In other news, I picked up some cheapo kids Halloween costumes at the grocery store today. I plan on dressing up some work doggies and putting their photos on the website, but of course we needed to do a test run, which involved putting my animals in said costumes and laughing my ass off. I will post photos when I have uploaded them so that you may also laugh your ass off.

Revenge of the gut

Why is it so hard to find a nice, simple, boob-friendly dress? I spent the whole weekend hunting in two different malls and one outlet village for a dress. Nothing fancy. Preferably jersey knit because I am a chubby little one, bordering on plus-sized, and, generally, structured dresses or shirts or anything don't fit right in at least one area or another.

I need the dress for a wedding. I have only been to one wedding since I was twelve, and it was outdoors and not so formal. This wedding I'm going to is not formal, but not outside either, so no gown, but I would rather wear a cute dress than a skirt/top thing. Plus, I don't own any dresses, so it's a good opportunity to branch out a bit.

I tried on sheath dresses. I tried on sleeveless. I tried on halter. I tried on long sleeves, three quarter, and short. I tried on flutter sleeves. I tried on v-neck. I tried backless. I tried on wrap. I tried on prints, solids, stripes, polka-dots. I must have tried at least 75 dresses, and of those that I could actually fit in to, only three were "maybes". I just want a dress I can love. And that loves me. And my chub.

Ha Ha Ha - the joke's on them!

I got the best news in the mail today!!! Are you ready for this?

There is FINALLY a Domino's pizza in my neighborhood!!!

Okay, so maybe it's not so exciting to some people, but we have been living here for four years, and whenever I feel like Domino's we have to drive 20 minutes, because we don't live in Dominoville and they don't deliver here. And there is something about domino's that makes me crave it - and it's naughty cheesy bread. I will be ordering a medium vegetarian tonight. And some naughty cheesy bread.

In other news, I may have a fun surprise for my fellow yoga enthusiasts this afternoon. I must admit, I only thought of it after ingesting my entire lunch, but it's probably not such a good idea to eat a bean and cheese burrito three hours before class. Ya, sorry about that Maria.

Singing the praises of the Mr. of Clean

My dog Gabby had some minor surgery today. She has had what we call, so fondly, The Eye Wart, for like six years. It's a cyst-type thing on her eyelid (like where your eyelashes are). We had it removed four years ago because it was ugly, and I thought it might scratch her cornea. It was great for about a year or two, then it grew back, meaner and uglier than ever. Actually, it wasn't as bad as it had been until about six months ago when it started to grow, then EXPLODE, then recede, then grow, then EXPLODE, etc. And when I say explode, I mean giant glops of grossness everywhere.

So, in she went for the *final* removal (since she's 12, I doubt she'll live through another four years of the grow, grow, grow, grow, grow, grow, EXPLODE cycle). We joked with the technicians that she was going in for some minor cosmetic surgery, and that if they could do a bit of lipo while they had her under, that would be great. I'm glad that she didn't have to stay overnight, and she made it through fine, but now she has two stiches in her eyelid, and has to wear one of those lampshade things until they come out.

In other news, I bought one of those Mr. Clean bathroom cleaners today - it's like a Swiffer, but has a spongy pad on the end and you use it to clean the tub and shower. It's fucking awesome. It's going to change my life, I know it. I hate cleaning the shower, but love having a clean shower. I hate how you always get cleaner or water all over you, so I usually clean the shower naked or barely clothed and shower directly after. I also hate the reaching and stretching and impossible angles associated with a really great tub clean. Well, these are problems no more my friends. Mr. Clean is my new man. I cleaned the whole shower/tub in like five minutes, and it was not clean. not clean at all. Definitely the best product I've found in quite some time.

Hallelujah

I have some fantastic news everyone!!! My iBook is now officially wireless! We've been putting off buying a wireless card since buying the business, and then I finally got one last week but experienced a few *complications* during set-up, but I'm finally up and running! I'm so happy, cause this means that all my hours of TV watching can now be multi-tasking time again instead of just vegging. It also means that I can write my blog entries where I feel most comfortable, on my sofa, instead of in the stupid office. Yay!

So, last week was pretty uneventful, except for one day in which some HORRIBLE things happened to me.

First of all, I went to my yoga class, and it was the last day of my period and I felt terrible. I could barely do any of the standing postures, which happened when I first started classes, so I thought maybe I had just skipped too many days. But then, I could barely do any of the floor postures because I felt like puking, which has NEVER happened before. I was very discouraged, and sad, but the good news is I went back two days later and was able to do every posture, which I've only done three times.

Also, one of my favorite doggies got a little crazy at the dog park, and ran smack into my shin with his skull. I have a giant bruise and for three days felt like I had shin splints or a hairline fracture. Fine now, although it's pretty ugly to look at.

And last but not least, I got a bug stuck in my ear. Ew. A tiny black fly, and I heard it buzz in there and tried to pop it out, but think I just smooshed it. When I finally got home at 3 I used a Qtip to extract the body, and lots of bloodiness (I'm assuming from the body, because I didn't have any scabbing or anything). I felt like my ear was still feeling weird, so around bedtime I Qtipped again and found MORE of the body. AAAAACCCCCHHHHHHH. But then it was all gone. I think I'll start walking with ear muffs.

A little homework for you

Five years ago today, I woke up, stumbled out of bed, poured a bowl of cereal and sat down to watch some TV before driving into the city to finalize my travel plans. It was two days before I was due to leave on a month-long jaunt to Europe, my consolation prize for not getting in to the law school I wanted. (Turned out to be a fantastic turn of events, cause I did my creative writing degree instead, and am 99.9% sure if I had gone to law school I would have murdered myself or someone I loved due to sleep deprivation and general anxiety issues).

Anyway, so I was munching on my breakfast, SB was almost out the door to class, and I'm watching the Today show and they cut to footage of a plane running into the World Trade Center.

Things changed for everyone that day. And even though I don't like to look at things like that with a "woe is us" attitude, I didn't, and still don't, consider it melodramatic to share in the sorrow of that day. Everyone, everywhere (I did end up taking my trip, and met lots of people all across Europe, and had lots of conversations about the attack) lost a confidence that had once been inherent, not an innocence, but a sureness of what the dangers in our lives are, and what we are safe from. That things like that just don't happen. Then suddenly they did happen. And suddenly there was this global awareness that anything, literally any thing, could happen at any moment and change everything.

I don't generally draw a whole lot of inspiration from things I see in the media (maybe because I mostly watch Law & Order and CSI and if they inspired me to do something, I would be in jail or the looney bin by now) But today, among all the 9/11 stuff on Ellen there was a segment, about a woman named Ann Nelson who had saved a copy of her "100 things to do before I die" list, and then she died in the World Trade Center, and her mom found the list on her laptop like three years later, and now it's been published in all kinds of newspapers, magazines, and on TV.

I think it's the most important list to have. I think in writing it, you outline what is most important to you and by re-visiting it you can see your own growth, and remind yourself of your identity. I also think it is something that needs to be shared - and not necessarily while you're around. It's like an emotional will, and by leaving it behind, it can remind people of the fabric you were made up of. Especially if you keep track of what you've actually done and what you haven't.

So, everyone, write your lists. And share them, or don't. But have them, and use them. Make them bold. Make them full of big things. I'm going to write mine. But I haven't decided if I'll share it or not.

What have I been up to?

Wow, so it's been a week.

This week, I have been doing the yoga. Anyone who knows me knows I'm not at all the granola-eating, center-finding, chakra-clearing type and that exercise for me has nothing to do with balancing myself or getting in touch with my center. I want to lose my booty. That's it.

However, I have found the perfect yoga for me. Well, almost.

I go to Bikram yoga, which is not at all a "flow" yoga. You hold each of 26 postures for set times (usually it feels like an eternity, but is probably a minute or two), and do two sets for each posture. I feel like it's a fun alternative to doing weight training, and that it not only gets me all stretchy and bendy, but strong too. The class is 90 minutes.

Oh, and the room is heated to 42 degrees celsius.

What?

This is not yoga for pretty girls (or boys). You can't go for tea straight from the studio. I sweat off like a billion tons every class. Okay, maybe not a billion tons, but I go right after work, so I haven't had the chance to weigh myself before, then after to see how much water I lose. No one is prissy. No one judges. Everyone is there for themselves, and to improve, and to work hard and it's awesome.

I'm still not able to make it through all of the standing postures (about half of the class) without taking a break. I get really dizzy and lightheaded, and am hoping that as my body gets stronger I'll be able to last longer. But my body feels good, and I feel amazing after each class.

So that's what I've been up to.

Next, I'll be frying them eggs and making them salads

I've switched my dog's food (rather, am in the process of switching) and they seem happy enough with their new holistic food. And I feel better, except when the New Food Farts come, because those suck.

I've been reading a little more about holistic vs. premium dog foods, and was surprised at how little "premium bashing" I found, however wasn't surprised that the term by-products loosely defined means anything that ever came from an animal ever. Also found that these by-products also come from meat deemed not fit for human consumption because it's either too old, rotten, contaminated with something, etc. Obviously I'm not an expert, and obviously premium food can't be so bad for your animals because the vast majority of animals eat premium or grocery store food, and live, you know, a while, but I really feel better about switching them. Plus I found a great Canadian brand that is the same price as the Science Diet I was buying before. It's called Holistic Blend and they seem to like it.

Enough about my new weird hippie-like tendencies.

A ravenous hunger

I'm not sure I really have a whole lot to write about, but it's been a while since I posted, and sometimes just getting started writing brings out a whole lot of stuff.

Sexy Boyfriend bought me a new bike yesterday. I know, CRAZY!!! Last week I just was like, why don't I have a bike? Why don't I bike? It could be fun. And when I said that to him, he was like, "I will buy you a bike." Like he's been waiting 8 years for me to have this epiphany and by god it has finally happened and we will not let this moment pass. I love my new bike. It is very pretty and shiny and blue, but that is not to say that the first time I fall off of it I will not have to fight the urge to throw it into the street. (Because when I was 8 I got a new bike, The Shooting Star, to replace my Blue Angel bike, which was my first two-wheeler. Shooting Star was bigger, and I fell off in the driveway. Then I picked it up, as if I was going to get back on, and I think for 2.2 seconds my mom thought I was off and running, then I threw it down onto the asphalt and screamed "I hate this bike." Proud moment for her, I'm sure.)

I am also going to go to a Bikram Yoga class this week. There is a studio by SB's work, and they offer a trial week for $20, unlimited classes. I'm sure after trying to force my body into a pretzel I won't be able to move for several days, so essentially it will be $20 for one class, but maybe, just maybe I'll be able to squeak a second one in there.

Two days ago I read an article about holistic pet food and why you should spend all that money on it. For the past two days I've been picturing my dogs eating chicken assholes and beaks, and brains, then, then, if hot-dog standards were not bad enough, there is often parts of dead dogs in the mix. WHAT? From an article I read in a local paper: "remains of euthanized animals who wound up in rendering plants." WHAT????!!!! I am so skeeved right now. So, much to SB's chagrin, I think I will be changing what my dog eats. And even though whenever I say "I will pay for it, just feed Charlie whatever, and I will pay to feed Gabby what I think she should have" he always thinks it's too much of a hassle and ends up splitting the tab anyway.

And finally, I literally feel like I am starving to death. I have had non-stop hunger since like three o'clock this afternoon, and it won't go away. Since then I have eaten a quarter chicken, fries, coleslaw, and that terribly weird half-hamburger bun thing they serve alongside at St. Hubert. Also had a fudgsicle, some Meli Melo (I hate the shreddies), and some plain chips. Plus I've drank like two diet Pepsis and a diet Green Tea Iced tea thing drying to fill myself with fluids. And it doesn't help that we have zero healthy snacks in the house, cause then I just eat chips and shit like that. I even thought I would compromise and make some nachos (1 part not-so-bad corn chips, one part fabulous vegetables, one part ooey gooey cheesy goodness), but then I found that we are out of cheese. Did you hear me? OUT OF CHEESE!!! How is this possible? What kind of humans are we? I almost cried. (To clarify, we are not completely out of cheese, but I draw the line at Brie nachos, Kraft Singles nachos, or Vache qui Rit nachos. No thanks.)

Foiled attempt at domesticity

Not too far back I had a sudden epiphany that I was tired of living one level above filth. Now, as a dog walker/pet sitter, I get to see how people live and believe me, our apartment is not even close to the dirtiest/messiest/most cluttered among them. However, having grown up with a mother who was a nurse and had her own...um...standards of cleanliness (read: sterile), and currently cohabitating space with an obsessive compulsive cleaner (read: vacuums at midnight so he will be able to sleep without dreaming of furballs under the sofa) I have had it drilled into my brain that my place is messy.

A few months ago I purchased a fabulous book about housekeeping. Not a "handy hints" book, or anything like that, but a book about why certain routines are important, how to build your own rhythm and schedule, and how often certain things should be done. Now, admittedly I have been quite lax since the whole business thing spun to near-out of control speeds, but I still like to do a few little chores every once in a while to feel like I'm contributing.

Over the weekend, I decided it was time to vacuum our mattress. This helps get rid of the dust mites, and I'm pretty sure I'm allergic to those dust mites, so I figured it was a good idea. We had purchased a ShopVac-type vacuum (a store-brand one) to clean the work vehicles, and I figured "what could do a better job than this? It has superior suction power." So I stripped the bed, and got all the attachments ready and plugged the thing in. When I pressed "power" it made this really weird grinding noise, then a "PUK" noise, and smoke started coming out. I turned it off, checked all the hose connections, then took the whole thing apart (hose, filters, etc) and put it back together again to make sure everything was attached properly. It was, so I decided to try again. I pressed "power", it whirred in a very high-pitched manner, then another "PUK", then I saw fire in there.

That's right. Fire. In my house. Not on the stove.

I was surprised by how calm I was. I turned off the machine, unplugged it, and waved the smoke around so the detector wouldn't go off. Then for some reason I took the top of the thing off, even though the part where the fire was was then in my hand. But I wanted to make sure the filter was not on fire in the canister. It wasn't. I put the top back on and sat on the bare mattress.

That Shop-Vac-type vacuum is going back. And our mattress is still not vacuumed.

A glimpse of what her future may be like

A while back I wrote about my friend Sam who is terrified of animals. Sam also happens to be Greek, and most of the other Greek people that I know are also not so fond of animals. Whatever, it's something that I've accepted, and am not trying to make them best friends with my dog.

Several weeks ago I got a new client who is Greek, but whose family LOVES animals. They have two dogs and four cats and their lives revolve around them. But my client warned me about a crazy Greek lady down the street who hates dog and will randomly yell at people with dogs. Whatever, people yell at me all the time, and I'm an idiot with a big mouth and usually yell back and I can't believe I haven't been beaten up and/or abducted yet.

So, on Saturday I'm walking this dog, and of course the dog suddenly gets the urge to take a crap right on the corner of this lady's yard. Now, technically this is city property anyway cause property lines here start about a foot back from the sidewalk. So it's cool, I pull out my baggie and I'm waiting for the dog to do her business. All of a sudden this woman starts shrieking "GET dat dog off my yard - get dat DOG off my yard - get dat dog OFF my yard" over and over. So I'm going "Come on doggie, let's hurry", and I'm leaning down to pick up to show "Hey, I'm ready to pick up, relax." But no, the woman doesn't care. Apparently she thinks that dog's paws contain toxic acid that will seep into her grass and contaminate her water supply. So she runs off her front porch, still screaming, and I'm trying to ignore her, get the business taken care of, and get out of there. When she gets to the sidewalk she screams "Get dat dog off my yard or I call police" and I say "go ahead and call them, she's not on your yard, and I'm cleaning it up anyway." To which she says "Get dat dog off my yard or I call police" and grabs me by the arm and tries to shove me.

That's right. I was assaulted by a 60-year-old crazy Greek woman.

I yelled "HEY!!!" really loudly and said - "If you don't quit it I'll call the police because you just assaulted me." Then she stepped back and started retreating to the house, but still yelling "No more dog - I remember you, call the police." And I'm like, whatever and we continue our walk.

Of course on the way back, we walk by her house again, and she's still yelling. Twenty minutes later. "I remember you, stay that dog off my yard or I call the police." I had had it, so I yelled "Shut up already." Then she yells "YOU shut up." I stopped, turned to her, and said "I'm not talking."

Now everyday when I walk by and I don't see her, I'm tempted to do something bad to this woman. If I were a teenager again I might be tempted to key her car. Or hock a loogie on it. Or put something disgusting on her doorknob. Sexy Boyfriend said he felt like taking a crap on her front porch. Too bad I'm only in the neighborhood in the middle of the day.

Sam, if you're reading this, please don't turn into a crazy Greek woman who assaults people who are minding their own business and picking up all the droppings left behind by their furry friends. I will have to disown you. And also, Sexy Boyfriend will then have to leave a big steaming pile on your front yard.

Girl's Night

I had been postponing a birthday celebration with my friends because I thought I might want to throw a barbecue at my house, with big burgers and lots of alcohol and general merriment all around. I finally clued into the fact last Wednesday that I have zero time in my schedule right now, so if I wanted to actually celebrate this year at all, dinner out was probably a better idea. So, on short notice, I sent out the invite to my closest friends, three of whom were able to make it. I was sad that my other friends couldn't come, but totally understood because I'm a flake lately and last-minute is not exactly convenient.

We had SO MUCH FUN! Four girls, just chatting and drinking and sharing good food and good conversation. I'd forgotten the value of actually physically being around people, not just phone conversations and email. For example, telling someone about how you were in the middle of your meal, and suddenly the drunk woman at the next table gets up to leave, then falls into you, practically headbutts you and grabs your boob to try and hold herself up, and then comes back like five minutes later and scares the crap out of you trying to say she's sorry, but leans in a bit too close in doing so. And then the guy at the table behind you gets up and says to you "I thought she was going to try to headbutt you again!" That's hilarious. But I'm not sure if it's just hilarious because I was there, watching it happen to Ems, or if it will translate in print.

All of this to say, thank you so much to my sweet, dear friends. I had a fabulous birthday/new business celebration. I hope that we can start a routine of getting together far more often, and next time I am definitely bringing a camera.

Quarter-life crisis purchases

I am an absent blogger. And for now, I'm okay with that.

This week was crazy, and I think I'm in for more of the same for this next little while. Put together: 1) busiest vacation time of the summer, 2) a business you run based around people's vacations (I have never been around so many different cats in one week in my entire life), and 3) a staffing level teetering on "emergency, emergency, we need to hire ten people", and 4) one of those staff on her way out in the next two weeks. Eeks. But, I have to say that as long as I get my sleep (and I'm talking comotose at like 9PM) the days usually shape up to be not so bad.

So, Friday was my birthday, which was pretty fun. Well, not really fun in a sense that I partied my ass off and got wasted and all those things that used to be fun to do on your birthday, but I didn't go to bed til 11:30, drank way too much wine with my kick-ass bloody steak at The Keg, and actually allowed myself to take a lunchbreak during the work day. Cause on your birthday you shouldn't be cranky due to low blood sugar.

Lots of people gave me cash for my birthday, which was stupendous, because for once I knew what I wanted to buy instead of just paying off my Visa with it or buying Subway or something. I bought myself (along with contributions from my Mummy, my Papa, my Grammie and Grampie, and Sexy Boyfriend) the most bitchin'est kick-ass snowboard EVER!!! I love it sooooo much. Here it is:

I friggin' love it so much I would almost make out with it!!!

I've been thinking about the snowboard for quite a while, and we've gone looking several times, and I kinda had my eye on a different one, but wasn't quite sure, and the prices went down, but then I didn't know if I really liked the design and the colors of the other one (which I know is not the most important thing when buying a snowboard, but the cuter I look, the more I'll want to ride it, right?), and then we went into the shop, and I saw this one, and my heart went pitter-pat and I knew I couldn't leave without it. Now I only have to wait like five more months for enough snow to ride it.

Pair this with the present I got SB for his birthday, a 3-day weekend rental of a Ducati sportbike, which we will hopefully actually get to use this summer, and I think we were hit harder by our respective QLC (quarter life crises) then we would like to admit. But by goodness, we just might fatally wound ourselves yet!

Not much else is happening. I felt a little nostalgic on Thursday, right before my birthday, thinking about all the stuff that's happened over the past year, but I kinda don't feel like writing about that right now. So stay tuned for melodrama and sentimentality. Woop woop.

With a tub of Haagen Daaz, and, oddly, craving a cigarette

I'm having an especially grumpy day.

I'm sick of driving The Shittiest Car on Earth (SB has our camera, but as soon as it's back in the apartment I will take and post a picture of The Beast.) The World Cup is ruining my carefully planned out scheduling (enough with the honking and wooing and slow-driving already! It's fucking 5:00 on a Wednesday - people have shit to do!). And now, while I'm toiling away at stuff I'm trying to get done so that I can go to the doctor tomorrow so I don't run out of crazy medicine and lose my head, someone is singing a particularly horrible rendition of Roxanne on the premiere of Rockstar: Supernova. It's a song I don't hate, perse, but I do hate Sting, and the Police, and I definitely hate this guy who's singing.

Today was my first real taste of stress, and it sucked, but none of it was my fault, which is what made it stressful. When something fucks up and it's my fault, I can recognize it, own up to it, and fix it. But when there's traffic because people without normal jobs, or any jobs, or nothing better to do are cruising up and down the main avenues waving flags and wearing out their horn batteries, and this waving of flags slows down my shit, the thing I thought was cute a few days ago turns ugly and makes me bitter.

The only thing I can say is, thank goodness for Goosie. He always makes me feel better.

Little World

So, it's almost the end of the World Cup, and it's my first World Cup in Montreal. Who knew it could be this exciting?

Montreal is pretty well known for it's diversity. Whereas, say, Toronto (not to name names, but...) has a reputation for being more of a melting pot, Montreal is the quintessential mosaic. People come here, love it here, but are fiercely proud of their heritage and lineage. It makes for very cool little neighborhoods, and sporting events as I have never witnessed them in my life.

Anyway, with the World Cup going on, it's inevitable that people will wear jerseys, and have little flags or something, and maybe gather at a sportsbar on a Saturday to watch a match or two. But here, here the World Cup takes on a life of its own. At 11am on a Tuesday, people were driving their cars up and down the main streets with flags and banners and megaphones and horns, and possible booze. And not just one car - no no no - parades of them, honking and yelling and generally getting in my way, but in a non-irritating way because people should be able to celebrate when their team wins, or scores, or whatever happened.

I was also struck by the vast number of countries that were represented in these little parades. There wasn't just Brazil, Germany, Argentina, you know, the big teams. Portugal had a huge following, as did Italy. Even the French were not too haughty for once to join in. But no one seemed to be disputing. At least not in an overly aggressive way.

On Friday, after Italy won their match against the Ukraine, we took a drive to Little Italy. The streets were closed down and hundreds of people were marching and singing and waving flags. One guy had a giant afghan that I'm guessing his nona made him of the Italian flag. People had tiny jerseys on their tiny dogs while they waved flags, ate gelato and tried not to get anything on their Gucci shoes. Maybe it wasn't exactly like Rome, but at the very least it was like New Jersey, HBO style.

I feel lucky to live in a city like this - where I can experience all these cultures so authentically, from people who care about and are proud of where they came from. And I love that I can be curious about them, without feeling like a tourist.

I just wish they wouldn't slow the traffic up quite so much.

While checking out F1 weekend downtown.

Me: wow, I can't believe we didn't even see one celebrity.

SB: well, I guess they probably don't want to come around all this hoopla - their limos can't even drop them off in front of the good restaurants because the streets are blocked off. I mean, people are only staying away from me because I'm el cognito.

Me: You're Al Cognito? Does that mean I can be Sue Cognito?

SB: Not Al Cognito, el cognito. You know, undercover?

Me: You mean IN cognito.

Long pause.

SB: Shut up.

Long pause, and a walk of about a block.

Me: Maybe I'll be Janet Cognito....

The first thing I will do is write myself a big fat paycheque

Here we are, officially "in it". I still don't feel different. Although our home office feels a bit cramped since I haven't had a yard sale yet and it was already stuffed full of crap. I mean... fabulous articles which will soon be for sale on our front yard. So come on down!

We had a fantastic closing dinner with my two ex-employers on Friday night, and their significant others. It was really a blast, and I am sad that I only got to know these girls and their guys through work stuff and now we are parting ways. We spent the whole dinner talking about fun Maritime traditions, Trailer Park Boys, Office Space, and what I have to look forward to as the proud owner of HHH. And there was of course lots of alcohol. Wine and martinis - does it really get any better than that?

Last night I collapsed into slumber at like 10:30. After moving the office to our house and making the schedule for next week, plus a to-do list of like a million things, I decided I would treat myself to a crossword puzzle interlude. For the longest time, I have been without a printer because mine just up and decided it didn't want to configure with my Mac anymore (WTF?), and now that we have a brand new (three years old) PC (scary viruses - ick!), I thought I should take advantage and print off a big giant crossword puzzle and work through it while watching, oh, I don't know, maybe some CSI? Ya, only I fell asleep after like three clues, and don't even remember Sexy Boyfriend coming to bed and removing my crossword, and pen, before I impaled myself.

I realize I have been a blogger slacker, which is terrible, because I'm already the consummate email slacker, and my excuse has always been "well, I have a blog, so there's no reason you still can't know what I'm up to." So, I apologize, and I figure that now that I work from home for several hours per day, I will be looking to slack off a lot, as people who work tend to do, so yay for you, more blog posts to come!!

My view from inside the bubble

So I'm still not stressed yet. Just getting tired out from early mornings and late appointments and eating dinner at 8 then working til ten or eleven on stuff I can't do during the day cause I don't have access to a computer yet. But I'm not stressed. All of the client feedback has been more than amazing, and flattering, and makes me feel like there's no way we could lose on this one. One client told me today "We're so happy and excited for you - you're our favorite walker!"

Everything will be taken care of by Friday, and then we are going to be able to move the office to our house, which will be FABULOUS because I find it very challenging to share control, and equipment, and I think the girls do, too. I can't wait to start my own organizing, and accounting, and all the little details you get to do when you own a business. Right now I am doing too much "continuing" with the way they do things, which is fine to learn by, but I have so many ideas about how to work things my way.

I'm also discovering how much I love meeting the pet owners. You can really tell a lot about how your visits with an animal are going to be when you meet their owners, and see how they interact. Yesterday there was a neurotic woman who wanted validation that her dog was needy and problem-ridden, but really he was pretty normal and really cute. Last night I met a couple with two cats and a new puppy, and they spoil them maybe even more than we spoil our little critters. I never thought I would enjoy dealing with people again after all the shitty times I had while working in customer service, but I'm really having fun!

So, that's the update. I hope everyone is doing well in the outside world. I miss you.

Maybe the stress just starts now

It's officially ours.

Tomorrow is my first day as the official owner/operator of HHH. We're using this week as a transitional period to tie up all the loose ends along with the previous owners, but as far as billing, payroll, and responsibilities, it's all ours. By loose ends, I mean pretty much everything imaginable, it seems, but one big thing is to get the website updated with all my info, and all the current walkers. The current owners haven't updated the site in quite some time (I think it's cause they have dial-up in their office - boo to dial-up), so keep checking in there for updates!

We decided on the plan for this final week yesterday, and even though I have quite a to-do list, I felt a sense of calm when our meeting was done. Everything is scheduled, and not a crazy, unattainable schedule, but realistic. Everyone seems happy with the arrangement, and really excited to get going (me to get started, them to get out).

During this whole period of negotiation, planning, transition, etc., I haven't really felt that much anxiety or stress. It's weird, right? I fall asleep hard and quickly, I feel energized most of the time, and happy. But I could tell this morning that maybe I really had some underlying fears and stresses, cause last night I dreamed I was in Cuba. Now that everything is in order and we are really digging in, I dreamed that I was in the most relaxing place I know.

And not only that, but in my dream we were deciding to stay an extra week just because we could.

Dear Thief,

I'm not sure why you chose to break into my little Jetta. Was it the giant dent in the front fender from when my landlady backed into it last week? Was it her cute little VW smile? Was it my iPod? Yes, I guess it was that. Because that seems to be the only thing of any value to you of all the things you pillaged from my vehicle. I will miss my little 20GB, with her cute little purple cover. I hope you enjoy all the REM on there.

I also hope you have a good time reading My Life, Bill Clinton's autobiography. I'm glad that you took it, actually, because I was halfway through, and now the suspense will really build up as to how it ends. By the way, that book was on loan from my grandfather's wife - don't you feel good that you stole from a (semi) old lady? Also, please take good care of the first edition copy of Adultery that you stole. I'm sure you will. Don't break the spine, and it could really be worth something someday. Or just throw it in someone's recycling if actually reading something is too much of a bother for you.

I would love to know what kind of tool you used to pop the lock off of my door, then manipulate the electric system of my car in such a way that all the windows were down, the trunk was popped, and the gas tank door was open when I found it. Oh, and the alarm didn't go off either. Did you do this to show how Fancy you are? Or did you think that maybe it would rain, and thus, with all the windows down, I would have had a wet ass all day today? Boy, that would have been a funny joke. Too bad it was sunny this morning.

I also want to applaud you on your mastery of thievery as a whole. I can really tell you are a real professional. Not only by the sophistication of your break-in method, but also your eagle eye that spotted my iPod under my cup holder. Oooh, ooh, and you know what else was good? The way you grabbed my giant North Face backpack full of books you will never read, a battery charger with no batteries in it, some masking tape, two crossword puzzle books, sunscreen, handcream, and lip gloss, but the way you neglected to grab my purse, which was semi-hidden (although not well, I admit, I'm a bit negligent for this) behind my trash bag, and which held all my ID, credit cards, debit cards, and $20 cash. And my digital camera. (Hey, you missed the opportunity to be the second person to steal my camera this year! Darn it! Maybe next time, I guess!)

So, Thief, happy thieving. Keep on rockin' with my iPod. Wolf Parade is really good, huh?

Your BVF (Best Victim 4-Evah),
Jules

Captain Sexy Boyfriend

I'm probably the worst car trip companion in the history of motorized travel. I wasn't always this way. I used to be able to occupy myself by reading, or doing crossword puzzles, and chatting with Sexy Boyfriend while we barrelled through snow/sleet/volleyball-sized hail between Montreal and Moncton to visit our families. There were sing-alongs, seat dancing, DVDs on laptops, and even a few rip-roaring games of I Spy.

But, alas, the good times ended when we started travelling with my sweet little man, Simon.

On our first few trips, we tried the whole "stuff him into a carrier, shove him in the back window, and drug him til he can't see straight" method. But Simon will not be deterred. He would meow and meow and meow, for hours and hours and hours. Each stop we made we pumped more Gravol into him, but all this did was make him sound like a drugged meower, or like someone had run him over on the side of the road and he was clinging to life whilst crying out for help with his last ounce of strength.

Soon, Simon wised up to the fact that the Gravol was the source of the spinning, and he would not take it. For any of you who have ever tried to give a cat a pill, it can be difficult. You need to be forceful. Sometimes you need to be devious. With Simon, you need chain mail and a syringe. He scratches, he bites, he froths at the mouth. He has this amazing ability of regurgitating the pill even when you do manage to shove it down his throat. We tried making a solution of Gravol and water, then Gravol and milk, and shooting it into his mouth like you do with an infant. But he would just froth and froth and froth at the mouth until we thought we were killing him, and/or he was infected with rabies. We tried mashing it up in some soft Whiskas (hello, treat food - the one thing he would steal from the fridge if he was two feet taller and had opposible thumbs so he could break into it), but he just turned up his nose and took a few nibbles of his regular kibble.

Also, with the whole carrier thing, his hard-sided carrier got way too small. So, we decided to try a soft-sided, dufflebag type carrier. Everything was great until he freaked out and clawed his way out while Sexy Boyfriend was driving alone along a two-lane highway. Then he decided that he would like to work the pedals.

So, now we have a new approach to travelling with Simon. Simon can install himself pretty well wherever he wants, and pillows will be placed all around the car so that Simon may have several perches to choose from. Sadly, Simon's favorite perch is on Mama's lap. Mama being me. And my lap being where the DVD player/crossword book/novel used to rest back when I was a good travelling companion. But now that's where Simon sits, on a pillow, with his head rested on the door, his nose against the glass. And with nothing else to keep me occupied, I spend the bulk of my time sleeping.

Poor Sexy Boyfriend.

Live from the N.B.

We decided late on Saturday that we would indeed take this week off from work to go home to New Brunswick for a little downtime before we take over the business. So, we left on Sunday and drove all day. It was the first time in a long time that we drove down during the daytime, and Sexy Boyfriend got a really funny sunburn from the sunroof. It probably wouldn't have been so bad if I had been able to keep my eyes open for more than five minutes and actually take turns driving, but we won't get into that. Anyway, he ended up with only the right side of his face burned, because the sun was beating down through the roof. It looks normal enough now, but was kinda funny on Sunday night.

I've been taking it easy, and yet have been very busy. Yesterday I ran errands with my mom all day, then had dinner with her and my sister. After that, SB's family had people over for dessert, so I went there for the evening and picked up my other sister, Sara, at work at midnight. Today, I drove my mom to work, then subsequently turned around to pick her up because her boss told her to take the week off and have fun visiting. Then I drove Sara back to work, then changed into a tank top and helped my mom stain the deck. This was an "entire afternoon" activity, whereas I originally thought it would only take us a couple of hours. My shoulders are now killing me, both from hunching over and painting on the stain, and also from the massive sunburn I got, which I know is bad for me, but it just hurts so good.

After deck staining duties, it was time to put streaks in Rachel's (the youngest sister's) hair. I was terrified, but also very into it. It was super fun and I took a really funny photo of her with a combination of foils and cap, which I will upload when I get back home to my computer.

Then I made pork tenderloin dinner for my family and SB, and now I'm finally just chillin'. I am so glad that it's not Christmas time, because it's always stressful to take vacation then, but I feel like so far my vacay has been pretty jam packed with exciting goodness.

Only five vacation days left. Scho Schad.

I think I killed my dog today

I either added or subtracted a year from her life. Today was "Take Gabby to Work Day", which was really fun and exciting for everyone involved. She was huffing and puffing before we even picked up the first dog. One dog was totally into her smokin' ass, and kept sniffing her incessantly. She kept up pretty well with the other doggies when we went to the dog park, and was really into the whole sitting in the back with everybody thing while we were dropping everyone off. But when I came back from leaving the last dog at his house (a Portuguese water dog with a severe underbite - so cute!), she had hopped in the front seat and was looking at me like "Ya, so we're going home now, right?" So, while I had a cat appointment I took her to our office and dropped her off for a rest.

When I went back to get her, she was pretty happy to see me, and our last walk was really fun and she was really into it, but now that we are home she has planted herself on the sofa and is sound asleep. Like, I think I could yell out "the kitchen is full of treats, come and get it!!!!" and she wouldn't even budge. I'm hoping to bring her along quite a bit when I start doing group walks regularly, because she's getting to that age that she's put on quite a bit of weight, and diet changes aren't helping. But, I'm also kinda scared that she's going to die of a heart attack or something from over-exertion.

Procrastinator extraordinaire

It's finally here - the 2006 edition of our vacation photos. From like four months ago. They are super poor quality due to the fantastic camera we had access to (because ours was stolen by baggage gremlins). You can see the photos here. Not super exciting, but some great shots of our resort, for those of you who didn't believe all my ranting and raving about how wonderful it was there.

This week we will be crazy busy getting stuff ready for the business changeover. Finally we will have a phone number and a PO Box, so finally we can get some business cards and promo stuff made. Sexy Boyfriend is installing our accounting software on his computer tonight so we (he) can get a feel for it before the changeover date. I say he is getting a feel for it because, although I'm good with computers, he is good with business, and can probably set up some of the stuff more efficiently than I can. It would also take me quite a while to teach myself how to use it, and then more time to set up.

That's all my news - the weekend was pretty boring - lots of business shopping and TONS of cleaning. Saturday night we went to see the DaVinci Code, which I really enjoyed. Obviously not as much as I loved the book, but I think if I had seen the movie first I would have been blown away. I still don't buy Tom Hanks as Robert Langdon, but Jean Reno, Paul Bettany, and Ian McKellan were really impressive. Audrey Tautou was okay, but I was pretty disappointed that her character was kinda dumbed down for the movie. All in all, it's worth the $10 admission for sure.

Spring is in the air

I can't remember the last time I loved spring this much. Maybe it's because I'm actually out in it, smelling the new blooms, feeling the fresh air and cool spring rain, instead of stuffed into a cubicle wanting to rip my eyes out. For weeks now I have been walking dogs, and I'll randomly smell lilacs, and I look all around but there are no lilacs to be seen. I thought maybe I was going nuts until about a week ago when all the lilacs started to bloom, and I saw that all those pointy, cold looking trees in the neighborhoods I frequent are actually beautiful bushes that were just waiting to explode in bloom.

When I was in elementary school, I used to walk to school every day. On the corner right before we reached the school, the house had a giant lilac tree, and people would always pull off blooms as they passed by to bring home to their moms. It became quite an epidemic until one day, when I was in the first grade, there was a school-wide warning issued to leave the damn tree alone already. Coincidentally, we also had a neighbor with a big giant lilac tree. This neighbor loved me - she gave me cheese cloth once when I caught a butterfly and wanted to keep it in a jar, and she also paid me $10 one week to collect their mail while they were away. Anyway, this neighbor offered me to cut off some of the lilac blooms. So, I took some for my mummy, and some for my nanny, and some for my teacher. My teacher was Soeur Margot, and although she was a nun, she didn't wear a habit since I went to regular public school and religion is not allowed in public school. However, even without the habit, she was scary as hell - on more than one occasion she crossed the line with regards to disciplining students, and was also the source of my best friend's agonizing stomach aches, which kept her home from school so much she almost had to repeat first grade.

Anyhow, so I brought some lilacs for my teacher. I vividly remember how proud I was to give them to her, and how lovely they smelled. I also vividly remember the feeling of surprise and hurt when she berated me in front of everyone for taking lilacs from the house beside our school. I think this is the moment when my inability to hold onto my shit when I'm upset officially engrained itself as standard behavior on my part.

I'm glad that I gave up my ability to keep composure, but was able to keep my love for the smell of lilacs.

Hands over my ears in horror

I've been kinda running around like a chicken with my head cut off this week, hence the lack of posts. We've been throwing around ideas for the business, trying to work all that stuff out. It seems like every time I sit down I think of something else that I absolutely can't forget to consider.

Yesterday was my first baby shower in a very long time. It was for a friend who used to work with me at IKEA and who is now a teacher - I haven't seen her for a while, and she looks so great, so happy, so settled. Our friend, Chag, was the hostess and she did an absolutely amazing job. There was a full-on spread of little appetizers that were super yummy - the kind of thing I love to do but just can't seem to organize. We had little zucchini fritters, herbed parmesan chicken pieces, a tuna salad in endive leaves, smoked salmon rolls, stuffed mushroom caps, and various salads and hummus trays. I'm sure I've forgotten something, but how could you not with so many great dishes? So yummy! She also made some pretty spectacular cakes, which were impressively decorated. We decided that she and I will have a baking day sometime, and Ems will be the designated spoon-taster.

The shower itself was fun. There were a lot of soon-to-be moms there, in various stages of pregnant bellyness. I'm sure I've mentioned that children make me uncomfortable (thank goodness there were no babies there), but one thing that makes me even more uncomfortable is hearing anything about any kind of birthing processes. It makes me squirm, and sweat, and basically want to run from the room. During a break in the present opening, conversation turned to things like people having their waters broken with giant hooks, and people having family members looks at their vaginas while a turkey was being squeezed through it. I could feel a cold sweat beginning when Ems nudged me and said "Jules, how about we go get a coffee?" Later, with talk of umbilical cords falling off, I felt another nudge and a "Jules, I need to go for a smoke, come with me."

So, here is a public shout out to Ems - I will never be around moms or babies without you ever again.

Another way that babies take the joy out of shopping

Next weekend is a pretty big weekend for me - Mother's Day is Sunday, so I've been internet shopping to find something to send to the two mom's (mine and SB's), Sunday is also our anniversary (8 years together, 1 year engaged), and on Saturday I am attending a baby shower.

This will be my first baby shower since I was like ten. I don't have any friends who have had babies, and my sisters are WAY too young to have babies. Plus babies seriously freak me out. I thought that shopping for a baby would be easy, so I headed out to Gap, because that's pretty much the only store I shop at, and started wading through the Baby sales rounder and tried to squeeze around all the giant Hummer strollers taking up all the fucking space in that baby department. I found a few pieces that were super cute, and I decided to buy something that will fit the baby later on in the summer. I thought I had it all under control, until I realized that I had an armload of clothes, none of which matched the other. Pinks that were one shade darker, or not quite the same tone. Things that matched, but were two different sizes. I started to sweat.

Luckily, I was visiting the Gap where I worked not so long ago, and one of my friends, Olivia, helped me find a cute little orange and pink outfit. So cute. Then, after paying, I called Ems to confirm that I had made okay choices - little shorts, a T, and a hoodie. She said it sounded great, and she has successfully weaned and clothed two babies, so she should know, right?

A real life business person

In approximately one month, we will officially own the dog walking company. I'm still not freaking out about the actual running of the business, but the whole changeover part is really daunting. I'm so nervous that we are going to fuck something up, which I'm sure won't happen since the business is small and super not complicated, but still. Sexy Boyfriend seems to have most of the technical stuff under control cause he's a super business wunderkind, but my head is swimming when he talks about incorporation and tax remittances. I know it's all stuff I will understand once we get going, but with a timeframe of 1 month, I don't feel like I'll get it that fast.

I'm very excited to get going, but I'm sad to see my bosses go. I find them both so funny and sensible - for one of the first times ever I don't find myself constantly questioning everything my boss is doing, or their motives for doing them. Everything is straight up and flexible.

We are hoping to have about a week or so to go home for a visit before things get rolling - we'll spend the next couple of weeks learning how they have been doing business and planning any changes we might want to make, and then we will maybe go away the week before we take over. I figure we won't have the opportunity to take much time off for a while so it's probably important to take some time away, together, before we're ready to rip each other's eyes out.

So, that's what I've been up to this week.

Trying to keep my poker face

We made our initial offer on the business today, and we are scheduled to meet with my bosses tomorrow night to discuss. I feel like it's Christmas Eve. I just want to know what they have to say, what they think, whether this is all going to be wrapped up tomorrow night and within about a month this will all be mine.

I can't get over how very exciting all of this is, and how not scared I am. It makes me more nervous that I am not scared or anxious than actually taking over the business does. Meanwhile, until tomorrow night, I have to play it cool, so that my bosses don't try to raise the bid too high. They aren't like that, they are into making everyone happy in the end, and getting the business in the hands of the right person so it doesn't just fizzle out. But, Sexy Boyfriend is a man of the business world, and in Sexy Boyfriend's Mean Businessman Language, I have to keep them thinking that I can walk away from any time and haven't lost out on anything. But, in real life language, which is what both myself and my bosses speak, I really want this to happen, and think it will really be sucky if it doesn't.

Otherwise, things are normal. Work is awesome, even though it rained a lot today and I got soaked. Also, while walking Goosie today some child in the street randomly yelled out "DIIIIIIIIIARHEA!!!!!" I wish I could remember even half of the hilarious things I see and hear during the day. For example, last week I saw a lady pissing in the park, and I totally forgot to even mention it. She was squatted against a tree and everything, and was partially hidden unlike the last person I saw using the park as facilities. Then yesterday I saw a man park his car, walk into an alley behind a convenience store, and take a leak there. Not like into the alley, like two feet behind the building. What the hell is with this city and people feeling the need to get back to nature?