Sunday, February 26, 2006


This week, at work, I was cornered by a cat. I am by no means scared of animals, but for some reason this cat scared the crap out of me. Maybe it was because he looked a little mangy, a little dirty - he was black, and had long fur, but his fur was all matted and kind of sticking out everywhere. Maybe it was because he would sneak up behind me when I was least expecting it. Maybe it was because if I looked at him he would growl incessantly like I just shaved him and now everyone could see he had no balls.

Anyway, when I arrived at the house, he seemed altogether normal. It's normal for cats to be a little worried when a stranger comes into their house, and they will sometimes hiss and run away. I'm cool with that - I don't try to press the whole friendship thing by any means, but if you want to eat, just go hide out until I'm gone. This apartment was set up with the living room, dining room, and kitchen on the left, in that order as you enter, all opening into each other, then a hallway running from the entrance to the dining room, and on the right the master bedroom, bathroom (which has a door to the hall and to the master bedroom) and a second bedroom. So, the only way to enter the kitchen in through the dining room, but you can get into the dining room through the living room or the hall.

So, now that you get the general picture, the cat likes to hide in the living room under the TV stand - this would be easy to avoid him, just bypass through the hallway. But when I came in the house, he would stand in the entryway to the living room, which I have to walk past to get to the kitchen to feed him. The first day I was there, he didn't like that idea at all. He started growling as I approached the door, slinking along the opposite wall of the hall. I avoided his eyes and tried to coo a bit. His growling got louder, then he hissed a few times. Then, out of nowhere, as I tried to scoot past him, he growled and meowed really loud - like alley-cat loud - and lunged at me, lashing out with his claws. I jumped into the bathroom, and he kept on the offensive in the hallway, growling and staring me down. I tried to leave the bathroom and he lashed out again, so I slammed the bathroom door in his face. I could hear him growling outside the door, so I went out through the master bedroom and decided to take care of his litter, which is in the basement and the stairs are off the entryway. When I came back up, he was back under the TV stand and the rest of the visit was normal.

By the end of the week, he was in love with me. And by "in love with me" I mean tolerated me. And by "tolerated me" I mean didn't back me into a corner every day. I think trick was learning to never ever be in the same room as him without a packet of catnip in my hand.

Monday, February 20, 2006


Because I'm outside at least fifty percent of my day walking dogs, I am now getting about, oh, I'd say 300% more exercise everyday than I used to get. Being that I used to get none and now I am getting like three - four hours a day. Anyway, while I was used to being on my feet when I was working at Gap, my muscles were not used to being propelled in a forward motion at such a rapid pace. When I get home at night, my legs feel twitchy. I take a nice hot shower, and they relax a bit, but by the time I get into bed, they are all twitchy again and I can't fall asleep.

So, I decided to try yoga.

I tried yoga once before, back when I was actually in cardiovascular shape, and wanted to do something fun for strength training. So, I bought a yoga tape. However, the tape I purchased was more of a "build your flexibility slowly, until you can wrap your toes behind your ears" than a "build your muscles quickly, until you are lean and sleek and oh so hot" kinda tape, and after five minutes or so of practicing and then another fifteen minutes of checking out the rest of the tape to see if there was anything that looked remotely interesting, I gave up.

Tonight when I got home from work I dug that tape out from the back of our video drawer and popped it in. I set up my mat in front of the TV and started doing my yoga, this time seriously. It actually felt quite good, although I only got through about twenty minutes of the hour long tape. Not because it was too hard - I was really feeling it, more the stretch and tension release than the spiritual oneness kinda thing. While moving through one salutation, from Downward Dog to plank, my cat curled up under me on the mat and decided this was the perfect place for a nap. While doing a rolling-ball type thing, I rolled forward once, then back and bashed into my dog who was sitting at one end of the mat. Then to top it all off, as I bent forward and wrapped my wrists behind my ankles (okay, behind my knees, but still not so bad, I think), my glasses slid off my nose in that oh so cute way that makes me say "$1000 an eye? Lasik here I come". (I ripped my last contact two weeks ago, and my insurance doesn't kick in for new ones until February 22nd.)

So, was it a success? We'll see if I can fall alseep tonight without twitchy legs. But it did feel good while I was doing it, so once I get my contacts I'll give it another go, I think.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

On a crappy day, there's nothing like a good Goose

Yesterday was a very cold day, and so windy that one of my little doggies almost blew away. All over the city things were blowing off of buildings, trees were losing limbs, there was a 70 car pile-up on the highway (for once I'm not exaggerating), and it was just a generally dangerous situation.

And it was freezing cold.

But, I only had a couple of doggies yesterday, so it wasn't so bad. Most of the doggies were pretty angry that they had to go outside. They would look up at me with this "I you fucking joking, lady? I know they pay you for this, but come on..." kinda look. All of them except for this guy:

That's Goosie, and he is one of my sweetest doggies. He is super hyper and always ready to go, but is also extremely smart. I love that I get to see him at the end of my day, when I'm starting to get tired and I feel like I'm ready to go home, because no matter what he's going to lift my spirits. He loves to play fetch, and is so smart he will bring the ball to within like three feet of me and drop it, and when I say "no, Goose, bring it to me", he will push it toward me with his nose until I pick it up and he can chase it again. Also, he won't let me put his harness on him until he has given me a kiss hello. Then he sits down and lets me get him ready for his walk. I love him, and would think of abducting him if I didn't think I would get caught.

Tonight we are going for our Valentine's Day dinner. We haven't been out for a nice dinner in a while, which is actually kinda weird for us, so I'm pretty excited. Tomorrow I'm supposed to go to a bridal show with my friend Al, which is usually fun/depressing, but you get tons of free stuff, so I can't very well pass that up, now can I?

Thursday, February 16, 2006

I don't like Dream Jules

So, the new truck has arrived, and it's pretty sweet. I think it will be mighty convenient for us to have two cars, but I can't help but be sad that we won't have that time together. That twenty minutes or so on the way to work and the way home when we crack jokes and talk-sing along to the radio. Sometimes it's the only time we have together in the whole day. I'm mourning for our morning time.

Today was a really weird weather day in that it started out at like -4, and clear, then it turned to a white-out blizzard that dumped like 10cm in about two hours, then it cleared up again and is supposed to go up to +7 tonight and rain. I fell like three times, really hard on my ass. The layer of snow was not deep enough so when I stepped, my foot would go through all the snow, and then underneath was a sheet of ice because yesterday was like +10. My first fall was pretty painful - I jarred my right arm pretty hard. The other two I just kind of let myself slide, so only my ass connected, and not even really that hard. I finally put my anti-slip thingies on my boots and that put a stop to that.

And finally, totally unrelated to anything, I have had two dreams, two nights in a row, involving the Gilmore Girls. In the first dream, I was Rory's bestfriend and we were hanging out for Valentine's Day because her boyfriend (Logan, if you watch) was out of the country. Then this big bodyguard looking dude showed up and swept us away to Logan's surprise present, which was a private swim with dolphins. It was really cool and fun. Then last night, I had a dream that I was in university again, and that Logan came to visit me and we ended up sleeping together. What kind of a bestfriend is Dream Jules, anyway?

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

~Happy Valentine's Day~

Well, it's Valentine's Day. I generally like any holiday where gifts are given, however this year, I am poor-ass broke, so I wasn't able to buy Sexy Boyfriend very much. I got us some chocolates and a cake from the ultra-yummy bakery Patisserie de Gascogne. I had heard a lot about it, but had never actually bought anything there, and then it was right on my way to my car from the last doggie of the day. We both almost had orgasms over the chocolates on the way home, and the cake was a super-yummy dessert.

Sexy Boyfriend, on the other hand, is not poor-ass broke. He went out and bought us a brand new digital camera!!! This is it (or something extremely similar):

It's really tiny and handy, which is pretty cool. It has all the features of our old camera except for a little more in the Mega-Pixel area, and a little more handy in the video-takage area. Not that I take that many videos, but it might be cool to take videos of my doggies.

So, that's a super fun surprise! We are going to do our "celebration" on the weekend, which generally entails going to The Keg and eating massive quantities of beef and drinking massive quantities of wine, then coming home and passing out because we are such gluttons. I can't wait!

Also in big news, we are getting a second car. Actually, we are getting a New car and Jetta is being demoted to Second car, which I think she is pretty sad about. She's been feeling a bit neglected lately, seeing as how we rented a car over the holidays and left her here alone, and then we went to Cuba and left her with SB's brother, and now she is jam-packed full of doggie paraphenalia and dirty as hell. She looks like a hobo car. Like no one loves her. But I do love her, and in a week or so when she is mine all mine, she will see.

SB will be driving to work in one of these:

and I will be able to use it when it is snowy weather outside, which will be exciting in that I will not feel as though I am taking my life in my hands as I navigate the icy streets of the Plateau amongst all the other crazy people who drive cars for a living and therefore think they are invincible.

So, I sign off saying what I heard Halle Berry say today on Access Hollywood. She said something like, "If you're with someone, I wish you a great day together, if you don't have someone, I wish for you to find someone, and if you don't want no one, then that's cool too."

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

I guess for now I'll just keep stinking

While on vacation, I discovered that I am a bather.

Our hotel had a beautiful bath tub. Not a jacuzzi tub, a real tub, made for one person, with the sole purpose of bathing. It was slightly longer than a standard tub, but was deep enough that when full, I was completely submerged. Knees and boobs. And then, to complete this perfect tub, the back was sloped for lounging, and the sides had perfect shelves such that my elbows rested perfectly on them while I read a magazine. I took a bath there at least every second day, with water so hot that I could barely stand it. (I know it's super bad for your skin, but I love the way it feels!)

Now, I am back home. And I miss bathing.

I hate my tiny apartment tub with its twelve inches of water and sharp porcelain edges. I hate trying to balance between soaking my legs and my torso. I've tried a couple of times since we've been home, but it's just not enjoyable. No matter how hot the water is, I can never fully warm up and relax.

Damn those Cubans with their full-bodied cigars, minty drinks and enjoyable bath tubs.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

When this world makes you crazy.....

I just want to say how much I love the Dove commercial with all the cute girls and the song "True Colors". If you haven't seen it, go here. It almost makes me cry every time. I think about how I felt growing up. Hell, how I feel a lot of the time now. I think about my sisters, and I hope they know how beautiful they are.

I hope you watch the commercial, and then go tell someone you know how fabulous they are.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Like some kind of alien spores

Well, it's been almost a week, and there's no sign of our camera. Also, our research shows that we do not have any baggage insurance with any of our credit cards. I didn't really use the camera that often, but for some reason I feel as though my right arm has been cut off. I keep thinking of all the things I could be taking photos of. All the great stuff I'm missing the opportunity to post on my blog. I feel jipped. I feel sad. I feel an extremely strong urge to go out and buy a digital SLR.

But, alas, I am broke, and so any replacement we buy will be the normal, point and shoot variety. Which is fine, that's what we had before and I loved it. But I feel like this is the moment, if ever there was a moment, where we could actually own a digital SLR, and if we go out and buy a regular digital, from here on it will be "should we invest in the SLR?", "well, we already have a digital, and we already have the 35mm SLR, do we really need to shell out that kind of cash?" But budgets are budgets, so I will continue pining, and maybe when I publish my first book I will buy a digital SLR.

One thing that has appeased my worried mind since coming back from vacation is the fact that none of my huge bug bites developed into small spider nests where a spider has laid eggs, and then like a week later the giant lump on your skin spills open to hundreds of tiny spiders. Nope, none of my giant bites were spider nests. They were just really huge bug bites that were maddeningly itchy, and actually pretty hard. You know how mosquito bites are like squishy? These bites were not squishy - they were hard, which is why I thought they were full of some kind of foreign body, like maybe spider eggs or something. But they are almost all gone now, except for one on my ankle. This one is the worst, cause it rubs against my boots ALL day in the car, but my boots are too tall for me to reach the bite and scratch. I hope it's gone soon.

This week I had the chance to walk a Bernese and a Dachshund, my two favorite dogs in the whole world. I felt like it was my birthday. In the spirit of birthdays, if any of you are thinking of buying me a present, I would love to have a Nikon D50. Or something.

Friday, February 03, 2006

My open apology to Judie, possessor of the discipline I so sadly lack

I need to make an open, public apology to my friend Judie.

Judie and I studied Creative Writing together, and she was an amazing editing buddy and critic. Since graduation, unlike myself who has been alternating between procrastination, frustration, and depression and therefore not getting anything done, Judie has been finishing the novel she began in our last year.

Right before Christmas Judie emailed me saying that we should get back into our critiques via email, and she sent me several pages of the novel to look over. Two months later, I still haven't sent her anything back, and I FEEL SO GUILTY!!! I am such a slacker and a terrible friend! I haven't written very much of my own stuff, either, so I can't even say I'm neglecting her because my own artistic juices are flowing. So, now that I'm back from vacation, I have seriously started reviewing Judie's work. But I just need to say that my delay in getting to it is in no way a reflection of how I feel about Judie's work, nor is it a reflection of any resentment I feel towards Judie. It is simply me being lazy.

Judie has not called me on my laziness, nor has she expressed any disdain for my laziness. This makes me feel even more guilty because it makes me feel like I'm being a terrible person to Judie who is such a fantastic, understanding person. She's also a great writer, and I am extremely proud of her for finishing this piece.

So, internet, I need to leave you now so I can do a bit of editing for Judie. She is going to be famous someday soon.