The Thoughts. How do you control them? *****

I can't sleep. I can't pinpoint a specific problem, there just seems to be a whole mess of stuff clunking around in there lately. I spend the whole day with the thoughts, and work myself into a lather, then I spend the whole evening trying to keep myself from blurting them out willynilly to SB and driving him batshit crazy too. Because do we really need that? So for the last few weeks my sleep patterns have been sporadic at best.

Sleepytime is the worst. The thoughts are racing. And I know, I know "make a list before you go to sleep, so you can forget about them and move on". But the problem isn't that I think I will forget about these issues. It's that they won't go away!

It doesn't seem to be bothering anyone else in the house - all my boys, furry and not-so furry are snoring away happily. However I'm sure I'm much moodier than normal during daytime hours. My usual insomnia routine has me hopping out of bed after a good 90 minute try, watching some TV or reading then heading back in 30 minutes or so. For the past two weeks I've been just lying there until I fall asleep, which hasn't been such a hot idea, so tonight I gave in and got up to read some blogs and write a post here for myself.

It's really a crying shame because sleeping is one of the very few things in life that I know I generally excel at and which I also shamelessly enjoy.

****title of the post is one of my very favorite Karl Pilkington lines from the Ricky Gervais Podcasts.

Oh, ya....

I know, I know, two posts in one day - I'm such an attention whore. But I was running and thought of something that I had been meaning to blog about.

I cannot for the life of me figure out who the hell is in charge of choosing theme music for sporting events. It was something that I realized really bothered me last week while watching the Super Bowl, and then we went to a hockey game on Wednesday and it came up again. SB doesn't seem to understand my outrage, but let me set the scene for you.

Super Bowl. A commercial comes on for the NFL draft - they ran several throughout the night. I don't know any of the players, but they were apparently showing pretty key guys during their moment of their NFL draft year. Putting on the jersey for the first time, shaking hands with the owners, blah blah blah. And what song are they playing?

Wake Up, by the Arcade Fire.

Think about it for a second.

Does it seem strange to you that they are celebrating and promoting a very pivotal moment in an athlete's career, the moment where all the hard work and dedication and all that jazz culminates in earning them that shot at the dream, that they are celebrating all this with a song about being emotionally beaten down as a child and growing up mal-adjusted. Huh.

Next scene:

Habs game.

The visiting team skates out to boos and the like. Then to bring the Habs players out two young kids (maybe 10-13 yrs old, I can't be sure because, kids, who needs 'em?) take the ice (which has been darkened and there are swirling spotlights) and what song are they playing to get everyone pumped up?

Fix You, by Coldplay.

Yes, let's get this party started with a song about dealing with a loved one trapped in the clutches of a dangerous depression.

Does it really take so much effort to LISTEN to the lyrics, to see what the song actually says? Stop being so lazy sports marketing people!!!!

Because, seriously, at the hockey game I got goosebumps, but not for the right reasons.

Still waiting

Still nothing happening on the next Big Thing. I know it's very tedious that I keep mentioning it and then not going into details, but I just really dislike fielding questions about stuff when I can't control when they happen. So, you'll get to know when it happens, and until then, I get to whine about how it's not happening fast enough.

In other news, I was ecstatic to find out that Wolf Parade is doing a mini-tour in April, so we scooped up some tickets to the show in Quebec City on April 1st (we better not show up to a fake concert - I am not a big fan of April Fool's day). I'm not super stoked that we have to go to Quebec City to see them (they are from Montreal, so the only thing I can imagine is that all the good venues were already booked on the dates they needed....otherwise it's just annoying). But we're going to take the opportunity to spend the night, then check out Old Quebec the following day, which I think we've only done together once, and only for like half an afternoon.

I think it will be a fun little mini-trip, and I could never express how excited I am to see them live again. I feel like one new album every two years is just NOT enough!!! I'm hoping that since the new CD is not out yet that this means this tour is a test run of new stuff, and that they will do a big tour in the late summer/fall. Fingers crossed! Two shows in a year would be amazing!

Waiting for the next big thing

Back from vacation means we're back down to business. There are big things happening here, big things. Big things I can't talk about yet. Or won't allow myself to talk about, at least until it's confirmed. It may or may not be what you think it is. If you know me at all, you know it's not that thing, but the other thing.

So, just waiting. Feels like a lot of time wasting, and lately I have been pretty preoccupied with time, and how quickly it passes. And the things I take for granted, and the things I don't take advantage of. And the things that fill up my time that have no value to me - things I can't control, obligations I wish I could shake off.

We both want to make the most of our time, doing things we love. For a long time our life has been about what we HAVE to do, but we are realizing that living life that way, it's not a life. So, we have some goals, and we have some deadlines, and we're on our way.

More to come soon, hopefully.

Back to reality.

So, we're back from vacation. Been back for about a week now. It's sad. So, so, so sad.

I wasn't able to let go of thinking about work while we were there. I cheated a few times and checked the emails just to be sure things seemed to be going smoothly. I can't wait until I don't have to do that anymore. Because aside from that, I was able to completely disconnect from everything else in life (even FARMVILLE!!!!) and just spend time with SB.

The resort was fantastic, we couldn't have asked or hoped for more. We were ridiculously spoiled, and had nice surprises from the staff. SB got to do some active watersports stuff - I tried to get into the Hobie Cat thing for his sake, but was way too nervous. He didn't mind taking it out alone, and also did some waterskiing too. We went snorkeling together, which was amazing. So many cute fish to see!

Now, back to reality, it doesn't seem fair that just over a week ago I was eating dinner with my feet in the sand and the ocean just a few yards away in the moonlight. It's like it never even happened, like it was just a dream. At least we have photographic proof!