Some regrets there...

I probably shouldn't have been so flippant about that kitten dying, because then, she up and died. I was so sure she wouldn't die, and then she did, and I was sad.

The same day the kitten died, I peed on a stick and found out I was pregnant. So, there's that.

I still haven't taken photos of the finished deck project, but it turned out pretty amazing.

Simon has been recently very ill. He seems better, although we still have no clue exactly what made him so sick. After two weeks of blood tests, urine tests, xrays, ultrasounds, medications, IVs and hospitalization all I know is that he's better. And thinner. But I'm so glad he's home.

After Little Lemon kitten died, we finally did adopt a little male kitten. His name is Lenny. This is him a few weeks after he came home to us. He's fun and silly and a pain in the ass, as kittens are, and we love him. Tess and Simon love him too, and Marlowe really gets a kick out of him. I think he's a pretty great addition.

Deathcab for Kitten

We got a new kitten. She is sweet and friendly and social and happy and the reason we got her is because she was full of parasites and her previous owner wanted to euthanize her. At 14 weeks old. For bugs.

Bugs don't bother me, and I happen to work in a vet clinic, so we had her release the kitten to us there. Then the kitten had a little stay in our contagious ward while she completed her treatment for the giardia parasites that her little gut was full of. I wanted to bring her home so badly. Every single day I hummed and hawed over whether I should bring her home yet. I worried that she may infect Simon, and then we would have double diarrhea on our hands. So I waited.

She was home for 3 days, and the loveliest of kittens ever. She ran around and played fetch with the cat toys Simon has been ignoring for....his whole life. She snuggled. She didn't hiss at Simon, nor at Tess. Simon didn't hiss at her. Things were going great.

Then on the third day she was home I came home and found a vomit in the bathroom where she spent the day while we weren't around. And she hadn't eaten anything. Not eating is alarm bell agent zero one hundred percent serious get thee to the vet post haste sign number one. I tried to coax her into eating all evening, and when we went to bed I said "if she hasn't eaten in the morning she is going back to work with me." To which SB replied "this kitten is going to die."

Turns out she almost did, but not quite. Little kitten now has Panleukopenia which she most likely caught while she was staying in our contagious ward because I didn't want to deal with the small chance of a little extra diarrhea at our house.

She had a fair day Friday, a really terrible, on death's doorstep day yesterday, and things are looking brighter today. I'm hoping the outlook is good. The team at my clinic is being overwhelmingly generous with their time and knowledge - I am finding it extremely frustrating how little I can take part, and had a very hard time trusting them enough to leave her there on Friday. But I see the looks on their faces when they see her doing well, and I know they are taking as much joy from her rallying as I am. I know they are invested in her outcome too.

She doesn't have a name yet. I have been calling her Little Lemon Kitten for the last three days. I think that's a pretty sour name for such a sweet little being, so I'm trying to think of something better for her to come home from the hospital with.

Stripping

We have encountered our very first shitty homeowner project. And boy is it shitty.

The first owner of our house installed a beautiful, gigantic, multi-level deck. It's gorgeous. Here is a view from the pool area. (With Tess for a little something interesting)

The second owners of the house were seriously delinquent in their external upkeep. The roof needs work, the gardens were completely overgrown and the deck is in serious need of refinishing. Serious need. Here is a photo that lets you see how bad the floor of the deck was:

(Note in this photo we are doing what we love to do best: eating and drinking poolside. Even before the pool was open.)

So about four weeks ago I decided it was time to get our act together and refinish the deck. And because we weren't at all partial to the orange cedar color alongside our beige siding, we decided it was the best idea to strip the old stuff off and start new with whatever colors we wanted.

Dudes I want to kill myself for having this idea.

All the products say they are "easy to use". But no, I'm here to tell you they are bitch ass awful. And dangerous. I narrowly escaped losing both eyes and have the chemical burns to prove it (not to mention the burns on my arms, even though I DID wear protective gloves).

The bending. The stretching. The squatting. The sweating. I even climbed a ladder in my flip-flops, which if you know me, you know this means business.

After working at it a little at a time over the last few weeks, we decided this weekend we would blitz and get this thing done. At least the stripping part. Then the deck could dry and we could apply some color.

I'm here to tell you that after swearing and yelling and sweating and sunburning and chemical burning and muscle pulling and more yelling there are no after photos because IT'S STILL NOT DONE.

If I ever tell you our deck needs re-done please do me a favor and come over in the dark of night and light it on fire.

Home Home Home

Well helloooooo there.

I have been writing semi-regularly over at the Mama blog. I have not been writing here. But fear not, as this is not the only writing I am neglecting. I haven't written a spot of fiction...hmmmm..since the kid was born. I've been antsy about it lately. I need some alone headspace, which doesn't exist anymore. My head is full until I'm alone, and I'm only alone in the car. Driving. To work. We'll figure it out.

But this post isn't about my woes, this post is about how summer is here and how HOLY EFF our house is awesome. We "garden" (loose term, there, because I wouldn't call what I do gardening so much as Hacking At the Old Stuff that's Planted There), we mow.

M in the hammock she got me for Mother's Day

 We play, we lounge, we clean the pool, we swim, we chase the toddler, we chase the dog/cat.

J'Accuse

 

Marlowe's first dip in her pool

Trying to convince Tess she likes to swim in the pool

We have discovered that we basically live at a cottage. A lovely, fully functional cottage with our own private oasis. Marlowe plays with rocks and watches beetles and points to the trees and the sky. We hear frogs singing in the forest at night.

I think we love living here. It's easy to say that after only six months, but it has been pretty great. It makes the toils of the week worth it. Especially when you can sneak in a 6pm schoolnight swim.

Hey there you

Heyo there.

I may not be posting here much, but I assure you I am alive and kicking. I have been posting most often on the Mama Blog, because it's for Mama things and I don't have a whole lot else to talk about these days. Which in and of itself I guess is a whole thing.

We moved in January, and I love our new home. I commute to work each day, which is tiring, but we live in the country and it's peaceful and quiet and OH SHIT IT'S ALMOST BUG SEASON. I'm sure we'll be fine. I love being itchy.

I have not been running enough. But a little is better than not at all. I love running in our neighborhood. Again, it's peaceful and quiet, and there are enough routes to keep things interesting. M loves it too, and even with my earphones in I can hear her doodling and deedling the whole time.

I have not been writing at all. Except the blog, which is something I love to write, but not what I want to be writing, you know.

Work is amazing. Things are very different than when I left, but still fantastic.

I can't really complain. Except for the fact that there is not enough time for anything. Ever. There is always something that has to be sacrificed. Such is life.

I'm the same but different.

Things I have always been:kinda snarky. Very deadpan. Sarcastic. Often judgmental. Generally rational. Scientifically-minded. Potty-mouthed.

Things I am now:
open. Calmer. Probably more sensitive. Definitely less judgmental. More thoughtful. Less impulsive.

Things I will (likely) never be:
Spiritual. Whimsical. Laissez-faire.

I'm sure a lot of people will attribute it to the fact that I have a child, and that having a child changes everything. I hate that idea. I feel like it may have been a catalyst for some things, but that my life and my outlook on it didn't essentially change just because I gave birth. Yes, things have changed, but I refuse to believe that I have changed that much.

The thing is, my core beliefs have always been the same. I think religion sucks. I think a lot of people suck. I believe in good energy (some may call it karma) and bad energy, and using the universe to make change. I believe in climate change and taking small steps to change it. I believe in balance, and seeing the good and bad parts of everything. These are things that have not changed.

Maybe having a kid just allowed me the time to see all these things about myself, and see how they relate to the world around me. Maybe meeting other moms of like minds and exploring their ideas too is helping me to be more myself. Or maybe in having her I was able to finally carve out a piece of the world that I sort of understand and can wrap my head around and find interesting. Even a year later I am still obsessed with birth and pregnancy and have a craving to know more about it.

I know one thing that has changed for sure: my outlook on life in general is a lot more positive than it has notoriously been. Maybe it's a reaction to not wanting to believe I had this kid for nothing, that there are good things for her to experience. Probably it's more likely that my drugs just really do work.

The kid is turning one

One year ago I was laboring. Hard. My doula had recommended a try to get some rest through the evening, but that was impossible because OW.

All day I've been remembering these little capsule moments. Waking up knowing it was The Day. A panic-stricken trip to Toys R Us for last minute things, and then Staples for batteries of all things. We ate pizza for dinner. We watched Prince of Persia. Then we watched Auction Kings (a LOT of Auction Kings was watched between midnight and 3 over the next several weeks). Then Idiot Abroad, which kept us at home that little smidge longer.

And as vivid as everything is coming back, until yesterday I barely thought about it. Because I've been pretty caught up in watching her become a kid. She was a baby, and now she's a kid. And it all happened right in front of my eyes. In one year.

Country, Winter...Running?

I'm still alive. Country living agrees with hermity old me. Last week there was a little ice storm and I spent the day in the den writing and folding laundry and drinking coffee and looking out the window at the lovely ice formations on the trees in the yard. Then the power went out and I got out some candles, picked up the baby from daycare and waited for SB to get home and light the fireplace. (while I'm sure I'm perfectly capable of lighting the fire myself, I'm not equally confident with my ability to set the flue/fan correctly to keep the smoke out of the house. So until I get a chance to practice, I will not light a fire without supervision!)

Today I ventured out for not only my first run in our new neighborhood, but my first REAL winter run. Yes I ran in slushy and snowy conditions when we were in the city, but that was....longer ago than I would like to admit. Now that winter is fully upon us, the road is full of chunky ice and snow and the air feels empty. Since I haven't run in an embarrassingly long time I dialed back my routine to a 4km run/walk. While my legs and back feel actually really really great, my lungs had a hard time with the cold air and I'm glad I didn't push it.

My biggest beef about this winter running thing? I think I have an allergy to the cold!  I'm not even kidding - before the holidays we went on a lovely walk on the mountain on a very cold day. We bundled up, but I wore just jeans, no longjohns or anything. By the end of the walk my thighs felt tingly from the cold, which I think happens to most everyone. But when we got home and I began to thaw out, my legs became unbearable itchy. Like, intolerable. Like, I wanted to take a sharp object to scratch at them. Being a patient of the great Dr. Google, I looked up the symptoms and allergies to cold conditions is a real thing. So, today I felt warm enough on my run, but now that I'm home and warming up, my legs are soooo itchy again. Maybe I should put a pair of shorts over my running pants? I don't want to overdo it because too hot = sucky. Today it was -5 when I left. Anyway, a dose of Benedryl helped last time so I'll probably hit that up soon.

I should have taken some photos. I need to make a point of doing that. Tess had an amazing time - she is really loving life here, as she should, since we moved out here basically for her quality of life :P  Also, this was my first run in like two years without a jogging stroller. It felt amazing.

Gonna Eat a Lot of Peaches

We've moved to the country! I wish I could tell some kind of crazy ridiculous moving story, but I can't because things went pretty smoothly. We are settling in slowly - there are still boxes full of stuff waiting for their places to be assigned, and there is still stuff that hasn't been put together yet. I am the worst for this kind of thing because I'm completely indecisive. For some reason I feel like when you put something away somewhere THAT IS ITS HOME and you are never allowed to assign it a new one. SB is not bad at this at all so while I spent the week running errands and doing laundry and getting the kid to learn daycare, I did NOT get anything done in the unpacking field. So SB has been doing that today.

Our new home is so lovely. While it is gigantic compared to what we're used to, it's nice to feel like we have space to live. The kitchen is phenomenal, and I've got big plans for some baking to do this week. (although I must note that no matter how large the kitchen is, it would seem that Tess always finds it most convenient to be underfoot).

We had the not nice surprise of a non-working garage door opener. This in itself would be less annoying if we actually had a copy of the key to the outside back door. But we don't, we only have keys for the front door, and the door inside the garage. Which means that when coming home, we have to go through the garage. And also our garage can't be locked from the outside. We thought the opener may be something we could fix, but SB took a look today and the gears are totally stripped. This is a bummer, but I guess not the end of the world.


So we've made it! We haven't killed each other yet, but the little home projects haven't really started yet. I haven't taken any photos yet, but should. I guess I'm taking too much pleasure in just soaking up our new lair.

A few things

We're moving to the country in three days. And while our house is in chaos, I had a few things on my mind this evening that I thought should be shared because that's why I blog.

1. I totally want to learn to crochet because over there on Pinterest there are myriads of teeny tiny little animals all made of crochet and I NEED to do that.

2. My new house will be full of deer/elk/moose. I love these, and they were hard to work into modern condo styles. Hello country, here come the deer.

3. We have our second notary meeting tomorrow morning bright and early to sign for the new house. Lately M's schedule has been ... less on the bright and early side and more on the side of "let's have a 30 minute disco party at 5am and then go back to bed until 10! Kay?" which is a routine I'm actually all for, but, alas, life beckons. Anyway, I've had some pretty sticky insomnia lately, so to avoid a comatose me signing my life away, I just took a sleeping pill. And so zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

It's a big old Happy New Year post

2012 is here. Which means that for the next two months anything I have to write the date on is guaranteed to have some scratched-out numbers on it. Just warning you.

2011 was very good to us. We welcomed our little Marlowe Fiona and she seems to be fitting in with our craziness just fine. I did not suffer any postpartum depression which was a miracle in and of itself, but my body is not bouncing back at all. I am admittedly quite lazy on the food front, but I feel I've been pretty active. We bought a house and sold a condo. I was published. I started a new blog.

2011 was very bad to a lot of people I love very much. My uncle was in a terrible motorcycle accident and is still on his long and painful path of recovery. It has been 6 months now. One of my dearest friends suffered the most terrible loss I can imagine. She is also on her path to recovery. I send all of my good thoughts and energy to them daily and can only hope the universe works the way I think it does.

In 2012 we will be moving. I will be going back to work. M will start daycare. I hope to do more writing, although the outlook seems bleak. I rarely get time to myself, and when I do it feels so decadent all I want to do is sleep and/or lounge. Maybe I should be more disciplined about it, but so far I haven't been. I want to change the way we eat. As of this moment it feels impossible, but I'm hoping that the move will give us a predictable routine and it will all work out.

I don't generally make resolutions. They are impractical and generally self-defeating. But I do like to think about my intentions. And I intend to live this year with love, good energy, and patience.