Tuesday, November 24, 2009


I almost forgot to post! Because I'm exhausted! And I'm watching Hoarders!

There are two shows on A&E that terrify me. Hoarders and Obsessed. They don't terrify me because they are showing crazy depictions of extreme behaviors. They terrify me because I see some of those tendencies in myself. Since I'm watching Hoarders right now, we'll go with that one.

I am not sure when I started to "save" and "collect" things, but I know I did it throughout my childhood and adolescence. Not to the point of not being able to walk through my room due to 8 foot tall piles of newspapers, but my mother can attest to the fact that she and my grandfather have been dealing with the aftermath of my hoarding for the almost 13 years since I moved away from home. There are boxes upon boxes of toys, books, collectibles, etc etc etc. I have no idea what is even in there. And looking back I'm pretty much 85% sure that about 90% of the stuff in there can be tossed. But I won't allow it to be thrown away until I get time to go through it. And I still think, even knowing that most of it is trash, if anyone threw it all away one day that it would hurt my heart.

Luckily I have SB - he keeps me in check where we live now. And in my old age I have become much, much, much less sentimental, and so I don't tend to keep all the weird things I used to (for about a year I made a "scrapbook" of my favorite hockey teams wherein I cut out the standings, game highlights, and any articles about them and pasted them in a hilroy. I am 99% sure those are in some of those boxes at Papa's house). And the only thing I collect now are first edition books - there could be far worse things than that!

I still have this insatiable need for stuff. Shopping, buying things, getting free things - all kinds of stuff. But I am better at realizing when all the stuff that is around me isn't useful and needs to go. It doesn't stop me from surrounding myself with different stuff, but at least it doesn't build up.

And I know for effin' sure that if SB wasn't around I would DEFINITELY have 20 cats. And a baby Bernese Mountain Dog.

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