Just before Christmas, I was at my heaviest weight ever. I often mention to people when I have lost five pounds, or ten pounds, or whatever, but never mention when I have gained it. I guess that kind of makes it seem like I'm perpetually shrinking, when in reality I yo-yo like a ... well, like a yo-yo.
I'm not sure what exactly led to the big gain. I was still walking doggies four times a week, still eating a steady diet of half crap and half good stuff, but for some reason the crap was catching up with me. And all the pre-holiday imbibing probably didn't help.
Just after Christmas, SB and I went on a shopping trip to snag some boxing week deals. While I was waiting outside his changeroom door slouched against the wall, a lovely lady asked me if it was my first. I said pardon, because I was half asleep and shocked that someone was speaking to me. "Is it your first that you are expecting?" "Hey, ya, thanks, but I'm not pregnant. Thanks though, for really making my day."
I am aware that I'm chubby. I don't like it, but it is what it is. But what would prompt someone to ask a stranger such a dangerous question? I would NEVER assume that someone was pregnant unless maybe they were out to here with that tell-tale belly button protrusion. And I think the very fact that the woman would dare to ask bothered me more than the fact that, ya, I do have a belly that could look like a pregnant belly.
Anyway, since the holidays, I have lost about 17 pounds. It's slightly shocking, because I don't really see a huge difference, but the numbers on the scale they do not lie. I still haven't changed a whole lot of my habits, except I'm trying to make an effort to eat less junk food. Exercise levels have not changed at all, although it's time for me to get back on the treadmill.
I ask myself if that lady's comment was the reason for a subconcious change. I would like to think not - that I really don't care about what people think, that I just want to feel better and be fit. But I think I do care, and that her comment was more hurtful than maybe I even know.