Monday, June 05, 2006

Captain Sexy Boyfriend

I'm probably the worst car trip companion in the history of motorized travel. I wasn't always this way. I used to be able to occupy myself by reading, or doing crossword puzzles, and chatting with Sexy Boyfriend while we barrelled through snow/sleet/volleyball-sized hail between Montreal and Moncton to visit our families. There were sing-alongs, seat dancing, DVDs on laptops, and even a few rip-roaring games of I Spy.

But, alas, the good times ended when we started travelling with my sweet little man, Simon.

On our first few trips, we tried the whole "stuff him into a carrier, shove him in the back window, and drug him til he can't see straight" method. But Simon will not be deterred. He would meow and meow and meow, for hours and hours and hours. Each stop we made we pumped more Gravol into him, but all this did was make him sound like a drugged meower, or like someone had run him over on the side of the road and he was clinging to life whilst crying out for help with his last ounce of strength.

Soon, Simon wised up to the fact that the Gravol was the source of the spinning, and he would not take it. For any of you who have ever tried to give a cat a pill, it can be difficult. You need to be forceful. Sometimes you need to be devious. With Simon, you need chain mail and a syringe. He scratches, he bites, he froths at the mouth. He has this amazing ability of regurgitating the pill even when you do manage to shove it down his throat. We tried making a solution of Gravol and water, then Gravol and milk, and shooting it into his mouth like you do with an infant. But he would just froth and froth and froth at the mouth until we thought we were killing him, and/or he was infected with rabies. We tried mashing it up in some soft Whiskas (hello, treat food - the one thing he would steal from the fridge if he was two feet taller and had opposible thumbs so he could break into it), but he just turned up his nose and took a few nibbles of his regular kibble.

Also, with the whole carrier thing, his hard-sided carrier got way too small. So, we decided to try a soft-sided, dufflebag type carrier. Everything was great until he freaked out and clawed his way out while Sexy Boyfriend was driving alone along a two-lane highway. Then he decided that he would like to work the pedals.

So, now we have a new approach to travelling with Simon. Simon can install himself pretty well wherever he wants, and pillows will be placed all around the car so that Simon may have several perches to choose from. Sadly, Simon's favorite perch is on Mama's lap. Mama being me. And my lap being where the DVD player/crossword book/novel used to rest back when I was a good travelling companion. But now that's where Simon sits, on a pillow, with his head rested on the door, his nose against the glass. And with nothing else to keep me occupied, I spend the bulk of my time sleeping.

Poor Sexy Boyfriend.

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