The Wedding Gown, Part II

There is a lot of stress about choosing the correct dress. My priorities before trying on anything:

• comfortable - not necessarily sweatpants comfy, but enough that you feel yourself, and not self-conscious the whole day.
• budget - I was a wedding budget Nazi - it is one of the things I am the most proud of, so it was really important to me to stick to it. We will say budget was X going into the process.
• different - I really didn't want something that looked same-old same-old. I also didn't want something totally out there. I wanted classic, but with details people would remember.

Things I knew I DID NOT WANT -

• lace.
• a tulle skirt that looked like a tutu
• pick-ups on the skirt

You would think this left things pretty wide open, but we learned quickly in the first store that I was very discerning - looking at the dresses on the hangers the consultant would say "what about this?" and I could no or yes within seconds. She loved my decisiveness, I think, and when I told her how long we'd been engaged she understood it too.

After trying on the first round of gowns I had discovered:

• sweetheart necklines look great on me but I wasn't going to feel comfortable in strapless
• I wanted a long train
• had to have buttons up the back - no lace-ups
  
• had to have beading
• ideally wanted a v-neck front and a v-back.

We found my dress by accident. It was hanging, and the first thing we saw was the pleating of the train. I thought it was interesting, but was a bit afraid of it too. Too much pleating could be bad. It also didn't have a pricetag on it since it had just arrived in the store. I agreed to try it on. Some photos of what it would have looked like on the hanger:

When I put it on, I instantly loved how it felt - even though it was two sizes too small. The train was just long enough, and when we pulled up the back to see what it would look like bustled, I almost started to cry. I knew it was it, and then I had to ask the price.

Because it had no tag, the consultant had to call the owner to find out where to find the price. She came back with X + 50%. Great. One and a half times my budget. I asked her if she thought they would be able to work out a better price, and she said she thought so, probably at least to X + 35%. Still not great for me.

As I said yesterday, we visited some other salons after this, and at one I saw The Dress and asked what their price would be. They came back with X + 30%. When I returned to the original shop, I tried on The Dress and two others, just to be sure, and there was no question. But budget-wise I was crying on the inside. There was no way I could justify it. No.

When I had the dress on again, we started talking about the price - the consultant could tell I was serious, and called up the owner of the salon to facilitate the negotiations. She started off with the first price she had quoted, and I told her the other shop had offered better, but still not great. After a few back and forths, we settled on X + 6% taxes in, plus they included a loaner crinolin, veil, and headpiece if I so chose.

This made me happy enough, but then 6 months later when it came time for a fitting I checked out the sample while they brought up my gown. The price tag: X x 2. Two times my original budget!!! If it had had a tag the day I tried them on, I wouldn't even have pulled it off the hanger. I'm so glad I did.

But probably the best part about my gown was SB's reaction. When I stepped into the room, and started walking towards him, I could see he had tears in his eyes. And after he shook my grandfathers hand, and we stood waiting for the music to stop, he leaned to me and said "You look so beautiful - I would have paid twice the price." And I knew I had picked a winner.

The Wedding Gown, Part I

Because SB turned out to be a hyper-conventional groom, I wasn't allowed to tell him anything about The Dress before the wedding. Except the price, of course, since we only have communal cash here at our house. He was actually so serious about knowing NO details about it that when I once had a nightmare that it arrived in champagne he plugged his fingers in his ears and said "la la la la la" because he didn't even want to know what color it WASN'T. So, I wasn't allowed to write about The Dress either. Because he might read about it, and then we would have to light it on fire and start from scratch.

My dress shopping experience can be summed up in 3 words - efficient, efficient, efficient. Wedding dresses are tricky things, because in most cases it is the first time you have ever shopped for one, so how can you know what it will look like on you? But it helps to know the vocabulary to be able to describe the ideas you have of what you may like. Plus, I had been looking at photos of designer dresses in magazines for so long, that I knew a lot of details that I absolutely did not want.

I worked on vibe a lot. My first time out, we visited three places. First one was great, but none of the dresses were IT. Second one (which is one of the most popular in town) had a weird smell, was extremely cramped, and there were no consultants to help us. I put one dress over my head, and before we even stepped out of the dressing room I said "I hate this place, and there is no way I'm buying a dress here" so we left. The third place was beautiful, the consultant was friendly, helpful, but not a busybody hovering over us. I found the dress there. But couldn't accept that within two hours it was done.

The second time out I visited a high-end salon - it was nice, but the consultant seemed extremely condescending, and the dresses were just alright. I tried on two, but only to humor her. The second place had a website that said they were open until nine that night, but when we arrived at 7 the lady was closing up. I saw "My Dress" on a mannequin in the front, and asked her how much it would be. She gave me a price, and we left. We went back to the original store where I had seen it, I tried it on for my friends, they all loved it, and then the price negotiating began.

Tomorrow, The Dress itself!!!

Viva Las Vegas!

For our mini-honeymoon, SB and I jetted off to Las Vegas for 4 days of mayhem in Sin City. Every single person that we spoke to before heading off said "Vegas is fun - for about 3-4 days, after that it gets to be a bit much." We were please, then, since we had only booked for 4 days, really just a getaway to relax after wedding craziness.

I don't know how other people "do" Vegas, but obviously not the right way because holy heck if I don't want to move there. We had such a fantastic time, I would go back in a heartbeat. So, my mini travelguide to Vegas.

- Don't spend a ton on your hotel - just make sure you stay somewhere on the strip. We stayed at the MGM Grand - one of the older hotels, rooms are slightly dated but clean. You don't spend a ton of time in your room, so you just want to be sure it's somewhere you won't catch bedbugs and that doesn't stink of mold.

- Do research the pool - we spent the WHOLE DAY by the pool, as we are wont to do, and we were very please that our hotel had a fantastic pool area, with sunshine all day long. In contrast, right across the street at New York New York the pool area was tiny and shaded all day. Boooo. You need to be a guest at the hotel to get into the pool area for free, so be sure you are staying at a hotel with a pool you will want to hang out at.

- Do relax in the daytime. ie plan on hanging out by the pool, doing shopping, visiting spas...whatever you consider relaxing, fill your days with that. Don't try to pack the daytime with too much shuffling about because it gets wicked hot, so you will tire yourself out pretty quickly if you are outside in it too long.

- Do explore at night - the Strip is pretty amazing, and night time is the time to really take it all in, all lit up and flashy. We checked out most of the casinos from the outside, and a couple from the inside, just by wandering up and down the Strip. The sidewalks are much, much more narrow than I thought though, so as much as I was up for seeing the sights I did find the crowds very annoying.

- Do hit some buffets. We read a lot about the Bellagio buffet, so we had to check it out. It was amazing - Under $30 per person and dudes, there was Kobe beef prime rib. And a sushi bar. And duck a l'orange. And quail. It was ridiculous. The buffet at our hotel wasn't half bad, either, and we were able to pay a "whole day" price, which gave us a discount for eating our breakfast, lunch, and dinner there. And it was yummy, not bland or gross like I expected.

I could go on and on about all the activities we did, but these are the best tips I came away with. We were there at the end of September, and the weather was absolutely amazing. Hot and sunny all day, relatively cool at night. And there is something about the low humidity that just made me sooooo happy all the time. Except when it cause our bodies to shrink and SB's wedding ring fell off in the casino, but that's a whole other story.

10 things you hear about weddings - T/F

1. the day flies by too fast - TRUE! - I got up at 8:30 and before I knew it it was 3am and time for bed. From hair appointment, to lunch, to makeup, to getting dressed to ceremony to dinner to dancing, the only part that felt like it was dragging on was the 30 minutes between the time my mom and sister went downstairs to welcome people until the coordinator called to cue my grandfather and I to join them. This 30 minutes was useful since I think Papa was nervous and I got him to drink a glass of wine and tell the photographer a few stories to loosen up a bit.

2. You won't get to eat - FALSE! - we ponied up for a fantastic menu and I was determined to enjoy it. I did, however, learn quickly not to leave my seat until I was done with my plate after my salad was removed while I was gone saying hi to a table of friends. After that I didn't leave my plate without specific instructions to someone to keep an eye on it and not let anyone take it away.

3. People will be upset if you don't follow "the rules" - FALSE! - we had no official cake cutting, no garter toss, no bouquet toss and our entrance song was "Swagga' Like Us" and people couldn't stop raving about what a fantastic time they had.

4. You won't even notice when small details go wrong - FALSE! - it bothers me that no one arranged my dress at during the ceremony (my fault - didn't assign the task), the ceremony didn't end up videotaped (Eric's fault - didn't assign the task), we didn't get to try the hors d'oeuvres (venue's fault, they sent up cheese and fruit instead), and the DJ effed up our first dance song and my mother/daughter song (DJ's fault and the reason why, even after a great night of partying, I didn't give him a tip). But, it just bothers me. It didn't ruin the day for me. There are soooo many other things that were either perfect or better than expected that I really can't dwell on those other things.

5. Your tasting will always be better than the food the day-of - FALSE!!! - the food was actually better than when we originally tasted it, which is incredible, impressive, and had me regretting my change from steak to chicken.

6. You won't feel like doin' it on your wedding night - TRUE!!! - my dress was heavy and I think I sweated off about 40 pounds. At the end of the night I just wanted a shower and some sleep. We did, however, finish off the cheese plate from before the reception and talked about the highlights of the day while they were still fresh.

7. Your photographer is invaluable - TRUE!!! - all our friends and families had their cameras, but we just saw the photogs photos and they were amazing. Also, we had them set up a photobooth and I think my favorite photos of the night are from there. Their photos are so great, I feel like I can relive the whole day just by flipping through them. And that's exactly how it should be.

8. You won't have time to socialize/have fun - FALSE!!! - we specifically invited less people so that we could enjoy time with every single guest, and still get our boogie on. I have a great memory with every single person who was there, and that's just how I wanted it.

9. No wedding is complete without the Chicken Dance/YMCA/etc - FALSE!! - the only remotely cliche song we played was "Celebrate" (good times, come on!) - our DJ thought we were weird because there was a lot of Puff Daddy, Notorious BIG, etc. Whatever, people were DANCING and that's all we wanted :)

10. You will feel different after becoming Mr and Mrs. - FALSE - I don't. I still love SB more than anything, I still love our life together, and I still love sharing every part of my life with him. The only thing that is different is the fact that we don't have to plan a giant party anymore. Until our first anniversary!

25 days

We are 25 days out and wedding fever has its hold on us (me). I feel like all I do is plan, think about planning, think about organizing the planning, and then thinking about paying for everything we've planned. Oddly enough, I don't spend much time worrying or stressing - I feel like after all this work, it's kind of a given that it will be a great time.

So then that will mean SB and I will be married. I don't think it will change much, after 11 years together, 10 years living together, and 4 years engaged. I could be wrong, but I doubt it. But, I know one thing that may have to change - his nickname! I can't very well go on calling him Sexy Boyfriend! And Sexy Husband just doesn't quite have the same ring to it....although its shortened form, SH, could also be short for ShitHead which is sometimes a suitable name for him.

What do you think his new nickname should be?

Drowning

We are 5.5 weeks out from the wedding and my stress level is holding steady at "variable". I keep having mini-anxiety attacks about random things that are totally outside of my control, but on the other hand I'm just so darn excited that I don't really care at all. And I think it's weird that I'm starting to not care, because in the next moment I am incapacitated by GIANT anxiety attacks. All I can say at this point is the I'm pretty darn glad that in these last weeks SB seems to be stepping up his interest and is keeping us on track, as I believe I'm quickly losing steam.

I am also feeling a lot of regret lately that I have such a hard time keeping my trap shut about things. It is my own fault, and I apologize, but I have been getting super annoyed with all the questions about my business. Both my personal business and wedding planning related stuff and my ACTUAL business. I don't want to talk about it.

I don't want to talk about plans - when I know the plans, you will know the plans, but stop asking me about the plans. When I had the idea for the plans I was excited that I had an idea, but ideas don't just become actual things out of thin air, magically. I'm creative, but I'm not rich, and I'm not god, so quit fucking asking me about it and I'll let you know when I know.

Also, business-wise, we have been pondering some big changes, but please stop fucking asking me about them. I know I mentioned it once like 8 months ago, and that if it happens I will be pretty happy and it will be a pretty big change, but, please believe me, when it happens I will shout it from the rooftops. So quit fucking asking me about it.

Again, sorry to sound bristly, because I know it's really my fault for not being able to keep my mouth shut about silly things like HOPES and DREAMS, but really, when I am feeling pretty shitty about myself, and you keep asking me about all the things that make me feel shitty, well it just makes things worse. So please stop asking. Even though I'm sure you mean well. My hands are tied. And so are my feet. And I've been thrown in a river, so I don't really feel like talking about that particular thing right now.

Keeping on Keeping on

Thirty years and one week and things are still the same. But I think I am getting better at accepting the status quo. Either that or I've just been really busy.

Wedding planning is coming along swimmingly. While my mother was visiting recently I had my final dress fitting and am absolutely delighted with the whole thing. I feel like I will want to wear this dress once a week. I just love it so much.

We also finalized all of our honeymoon travel plans this week which is super exciting. I am starting to be more excited for our travels than for the wedding itself, mostly just because there is much less stress involved. SB had insisted we wait to book our flights for our January trip because Air Canada was having some union issues. We waited until he was comfortable, and lo and behold we saved $500! I'm so stoked!

This weekend we are heading to Burlington to see the Tragically Hip for the second time this summer. I'm really looking forward to it, not just for the concert, but to be going somewhere different and taking a weekend out of the city. I'm just hoping that for once the weather will cooperate.

So maybe you'll see more of me.

Hey there! ***waves*** I'm alive!

I don't know why I have such a hard time updating. Sometimes funny things happen, or sad things happen, or whatever, and in the moment I say "I should blog about that" but then I just update my facebook status and forget about it.

So, I am going to try to update here at least once a week. Even if there is NOTHING going on in my life. You will have to endure it. (or just not read, but pfft, like that's an option).

Let's begin, shall we?

Last Thursday was our 11th anniversary. I'm a bit bummed about it, because as of September, our count resets to 0, kinda. No one will ask how long we've been together, they will ask how long we've been married. However, I am pretty happy that our wedding day is different then our first dating anniversary, because that means TWO celebrations each year. Yay!

For our anniversary we celebrated by having dinner at the hotel where we are getting married. The restaurant is called Aix Cuisine du Terroir and it was AMAZING. They have a great prix fixe menu, and if it was BYOW I think I would beg to go once a week. For starters, SB had this smoked salmon concoction and I had bison tartar two ways (both ways were fanatastic). As mains, SB had a veal chop with blue cheese mashed potatoes and I had a sirloin topped with seared foie gras. It was so decadent and ridiculous. Then we had a nice cheese plate, and for dessert a skor tiramisu, which was a surprise for their menu, but super delicious. I have had to be extra good about food and exercise this week to make up for it, though!

This weekend we have a mad crazy schedule - tomorrow night I have a birthday dinner for my friend Christina, Saturday we have to attend a wake for SB's boss's father in law, Saturday night we have dinner to celebrate SB's brother birthday, and Sunday SB is helping his bestfriend move. Phewf. So, I'm extra glad that last weekend we got to spend loads of time together, just hanging out and shopping and MarioKarting.

Wedding planning is becoming a bit...stressful. I thought that if we got the big things taken care of that we would be able to relax a bit, but holy heck, all the little things are starting to make me crazy.

We still don't have a new puppy. Not that I'm in a hurry to get one, but people always ask me when they find out Gabby passed away. I'm not sure when we will both be ready - I feel like emotionally I would be ready now, but timing-wise probably not until at least next summer. SB isn't sure he will ever be ready. So we'll see.

That's all for now. **waves** See ya soon!

Bye Bye March

So, March is over, and technically I have one week of work hell left until our missing employee returns from New Zealand. However, I haven't heard from her at all, even though I emailed her yesterday to confirm she was in fact arriving back next Friday and would in fact be starting work the following Monday. I don't know what I'll do if she doesn't come back. I think I may shoot myself.

Not that things have been horrible. In fact, I think I have been far too busy and exhausted to spend any time wallowing in my own misery, and thus have been a much happier person overall. But that doesn't change the fact that I'm unhappy, it has just delayed my reaction to it a little. I can even procrastinate my malcontent.

The only thing that I'm looking forward to in the next year is our wedding, and of course our subsequent honeymoon. Wedding plans are moving along, and they have their own share of...uh...challenges, but we're getting there. We booked our honeymoon this week, and I am absolutely ecstatic. Nothing like an all-inclusive week in St. Lucia in January to keep you pushing through all the crap.

I'm not sure what I will do with myself when it's all done.

Buy me a video game.

I have become slightly addicted to Super Mario Galaxy. I'm not ashamed to admit it. And it's not like I spend the whole day playing, which, although tempting, I am able to refrain from. However, there have been near smackdowns this week as SB is also slightly addicted to NHL 2K9 for the Wii too. And you can only play one game at once, you know.

Santa brought 2K9 for SB - we had rented it and he loved it. Then we had received an HBC gift card for xmas, so we bought Galaxy, which we had also rented. But, there are some games that I can't rent, and am desparate to try.

Mario Kart - Actually, probably not a great idea since my number one challenge when playing any video game is my steering (poor James Bond is constantly getting stuck in corners then blown to bits, sorry dude). But it just looks so FUN! They were sold out when we bought Galaxy, otherwise it may have been a tough choice.

Guitar Hero - all my friends who have played this are totally addicted. And I totally don't want the full band set up, just the two guitars - we have clients who have the full band and there is no way in heck I want all that crap in my apartment. But two guitars I think we can handle. There is a specific bundle I want to buy and Best Buy keeps being sold out. Plus, I've never tried the game so not sure it's actually worth it, or if it's just hype.


Anyway, video game speak over. This weekend we will be attending a wedding show, most likely our last one! We have to finalize a DJ (don't even get me started on this, I'm at the end of my rope with one guy and totally losing it), and look at some options for flowers and cake. Mmmmmm cake. We have chosen invitations, photographer is done, venue is done, dress is ordered, my sister has her dress ordered, best man has been asked. Things are moving along.

Not ready for winter

I am very sad that it is almost November. Because then the snow comes. And then I want to crawl into a hole and die.

It has come to my attention (thanks Mummy) that I haven't updated in a while, so here I am. Life seems very boring lately, so I don't have a whole lot to talk about. Work is still annoying as ever, but the contracts are finally going out this week, and then it's all about strategizing for holiday time.

Our wedding venue is booked, as is our photographer, and we are speaking with the DJ this week. Dress is ordered (I went to try it on again a few weeks ago just to see for undergarments, but it still felt 100% perfect). I think we can relax on the other details until the spring. Yay!

On October 5th SB and I ran in the CIBC Run for the Cure, which was awesome, and we have photos and a super funny video of me which I have to upload some day. Since the run, I have been trying to keep up my running fitness and hopefully improve my time so I run 5K 2-3 times per week, aiming for 5 days per week. I have a really hard time committing to anything 5 days a week, for some reason.

I guess that's all - I told you, boring!

Oh, hey, how about some audience participation? We need to plan a honeymoon, but since our wedding is in the middle of September, the Caribbean is out (pesky hurricanes). We're open to suggestions - to date we have a list of: Greece, Italy, Hawaii, Pacific coast of Mexico, Napa Valley. There is also the possibility of a "long weekend" type thing away in the fall, then a hot spot vacation in the winter if all else fails. Where would you go on your honeymoon if you could go anywhere?

Things that just keep dragging on

1. Venue booking - we are still negotiating because SB is so thorough. Thorough is not efficient. Thorough takes a very very long time and gives me panic attacks that he has pissed someone off. In the long run, thorough will most likely be the smartest way to go about things, but it is the most damaging to my mental health.

2. Photographer booking - see above, except they are keen and prompt to respond, so we are stopping by to sign everything and make our deposit tomorrow.

3. Changing a contract for my work clients. We have significantly changed one clause out of two contracts, and changed the format and some of the wording on both. However it has taken us approximately 100 years to do this. Or two weeks. I think I am so impatient because I did the initial write up in English, and have been waiting for SB to translate it to French, and tweak it. I am so glad I didn't have to try to translate, and even more thankful we didn't have to pay someone else to do it, but holy mack I want to send this thing out and forget about it.

4. 90 minute hot yoga classes. When you have had two coffees, a diet Pepsi and about 3 Tbsp of water all day. Holy eff I was dehydrated! I'm such a moron. But, at least I went, something is better than nothing :)

5. My Bell cell phone contract. We have been counting the days until May 24 2009 since June 3 2006, because that is when our contract is done and we will be done with these morons. But, wouldn't you know it my Blackberry from 1957 is slowly deteriorating (it now hangs up on people randomly! Awesome! So professional!), so we may be cancelling early anyway and switching so I can get a new phone. It turns out it isn't as expensive to cancel as I had imagined, PLUS the rate plans at the other company will save us about $100 a month. Sweet.

Still nothing yet....

We did meet with two venues. We loved the first one. We tried to book it, but turns out the coordinator we spoke with is out of the office at the moment. WHEN IS SHE COMING BACK?????

I'm going nuts over here! They have blocked off a date for us, but we are ready to finalize/confirm/reserve/pay up suckah. Now. Yesterday. Actually, a week ago tomorrow, but who's counting the days, really?

It is highly aggravating because we have to complete this booking before booking the photographers (who, by the way, are available, yay!) and the DJ and all the other crap.

In more important news, I bought my dress last week. My wedding dress. It has been purchased. It will arrive in six months. My dress. *sigh*

I will keep you posted regarding the date thing.

Just asking for a bloody nose

I watched the most bizarre show last night - I am still trying to wrap my brain around it.

The show was on TLC and was called The Running of the Brides. It was basically a show about the annual bridal gown sale at Filene's Basement. Filene's is a store similar to our Winner's, where brand name labels are sold at super-reduced prices. The gowns they were selling were designer gowns, for example one Amsale was regular priced $3000 and sold for $500.

Okay, so people want a bargain. Totally understandable, and so I see the original motivation.

The brides start strategizing way ahead of time, and they organize "teams" - one of the teams featured had between ten and fifteen people, but most brides went in with 5 or six close friends and family. In spite of the advanced planning, no one really has an original strategy, they all basically do this:

a)get there early to get a good spot in line
b) when they let you inside, bride grabs an area that will be the team's territory
c) team members grab as many dresses as possible and bring them back to the territory (all of the dresses had been removed from the racks within less than two minutes - literally - this time I am not exaggerating)
d) team members are then delegated as things like dressers, protectors, barterers. Some team members were wearing bike helmets, and everyone wore their hair pulled back just in case the elbowing and hair pulling got out of hand

The bride strips down to the least amount of clothes she feels comfortable in (most had on tanktops and biker shorts, but some were in bra and panties) and the dressers pop the dresses on them one after the other. They decide very quickly whether it's yes, maybe, or no. Yesses and maybes are kept aside, and noes are sent out with the barterers to trade with other teams. Protectors have to make sure no one is sneaking in and stealing any of the "yes" or "maybe" dresses, or worse any of the dresses that haven't been tried on yet. All of the women featured in the show had not only tried on about 50 dresses each in less than two hours, but had also chosen "the dress" in that time.

Am I nuts? Nothing about this is appealing to me, except maybe the discount part. Being half naked in public. Sorting through stacks and stacks of satin and tulle and giving each dress about one minute of consideration. Plus, one of the teams had flown in from Jacksonville, Florida (the sale was in Boston. That eliminates the entire "bargain" aspect of the entire exercise!

I want my dress-buying experience to be relaxed. I want a large, roomy dressing room and I want people to bring dresses to me. I want lots of choice, but I don't want to try on a hundred different things. I want the sales person to know what they are doing and be able to intuit what I am looking for after just a few tries. I want people I care about with me and I don't don't don't want to feel rushed.

Is that crazy?

Oh, and I want the dress I finally choose to be on sale. Please.