Wednesday, March 29, 2006

May I preface this post by saying - EEEEWWWW

Before I write this post, I have to say that Cass Winthrop is on Law and Order tonight (not as Cass Winthrop, but the actor who played Cass Winthrop) and he's playing the bad guy, and detective Fontana just gave him a swirly. It really made my day.

Another thing that made my day was what happened in the park today.

It was a lovely day today, about 15 Celsius with a nice breeze. I took my mini-group of dogs to the Mountain and we were off for a fine romp. The Mountain is Mount Royal park, and if you've never been to Montreal it's kind of like Central Park, only a huge mountain in the middle of the city. There are trails, and bike paths and people bike, run, walk doggies, and even cross-country ski in the winter. It's really beautiful, with winding groomed trails that are bigger than most streets in the city, plenty of trash cans and benches, and a gorgeous view of the city below.

We made our way up the first straightaway on the zigzag path, and met some lovely puppies on our way. We stopped to talk to someone who was concerned I was cold in my three-quarter length sleeve t-shirt. I told him I was fine, and that we walk at a brisk pace so I get quite warm. He continued ahead, but I kept my eye on him because I found him slightly creepy. As we wound around the first hairpin turn, he took off on one off the bike paths that go straight up the mountain. I watched until he was out of sight, then we mosied on. One of the doggies (whose name is Number Nine, isn't that kinda strange? And the dog I walk her with is named Samba. Samba and Number Nine. But they don't live together, and aren't related, they just take walks with us and live next door to each other. I wonder if Number Nine's family named her that hoping they would be friends. Hm.) took a poo, which I picked up diligently. When I looked up to find a garbage can, I spotted one not far away, but what I saw almost right behind it really threw me off.

Beside a tree, right off the trail I saw something horrific (like three feet off, and by "off the trail" I literally just mean off the trail - there are no bushes or anything, not even any grass at this time of year.) There was a dude squatting and taking a dump.

I wasn't sure he was actually taking a dump at first, because he was squatted really low, kinda like he was examining something at the foot of the tree. He looked normal enough, wearing a nice parka and a tuque. I was on my way to throw my doggie doo bag in the trash can when he stood up. To clench off his business. And to wipe himself. Like ten feet away from me. Gross.

Needless to say I veered away from the trash can pretty quickly, opting to hang on to my doodies until I came across another garbage. I didn't look back to see if he bagged his doodies, too.


Jenn said...


Ew. Who does that? Do you think it's a fetish, or was he just deranged?

I don't know. I probably would have done the same as you, but part of me wishes you would have called him on it. Or, like, walked up beside him and started a casual conversation.

Jules said...

If he hadn't been wearing such a nice parka and tuque, I would have thought he was homeless for sure.

The funniest thing is, there were literally tons of people around. And no one did anything. Although the girls walking behind me started twittering and giggling.

I should have let one of my doggies loose to go and investigate.

Dilly Dilly said...

Cass Winthrop! I love me a Cass Winthrop reference!!

As for a man pooing in public, the only time I get it is when my husband and his buddies go for long bike rides and you're miles from anything andn an hour on abike seat makes the bowles get antsy... but you find a VERY SECLUDED PLACE... though once my mom was driving down a farm road and saw my husband's friend and two bikes ont he side of the road and pulled over thinking my hubby was in danger and came upon him coming out of the woods pulling up his bike shorts!

But your situation? Just NASTY!