Tuesday, November 15, 2005

The dreaded work Christmas party: The Aftermath

The work Christmas party was not really very fun at all. Some funny things happened, I laughed quite a bit, but as I expected, I was so drained from working all day that it was impossible to really enjoy myself. All I could think about was my new comfy pyjamas and my bed. Plus I'm the type of person who prefers a nice dinner out with nice conversation and max 10 people. This was 45 people at like five different long tables screaming across the room at each other in a drunken stupor. Here are some things that I learned that may increase my chances of having a good time next year:

1. Don't sit across the table from the two biggest gossips - they will spend the entire evening whispering back and forth, but you will never actually get in on the conversation.
2. When your fun, witty friends ask you to save them seats, it is best just to arrange to arrive together in the first place, as saving three seats is practically impossible at these things.
3. Don't sit next to your boss when she's drinking. You learn that she has a mean streak (not directed at you, but you're sitting right beside her, so maybe...) and you also learn she is very loud with this mean streak. If we actually had an HR person at our work they would have had a very busy Monday.
4. Try to sit on the same side of the table as the fifty-ish lady who drank too much and is wearing a low-cut shirt. I saw way more wrinkly cleave than I would have liked to see.

We had a gift exchange, which was really fun, and everybody got really great gifts. I got a very nice journal and pen to use for my writing endeavors - very sweet and thoughtful, and definitely more than I expected given that no one really knows me that well.

The only thing that happened that had everyone talking on Monday: one of the other managers, known for being strict and a neat freak was given a gag gift of Mr. Clean and a whip. Most people got quite a laugh out of it, but she did not find it funny at all. She says that if he had taken the time to give a real gift along with the gag gift, then she wouldn't be so insulted. I'm really not sure it would have made a difference.

So, nobody went topless, and no one danced on tables, no one got into any fights and no one got caught making out in the bathroom. These people need to be schooled on how to throw a party.


Dilly Dilly said...

Ahhh, the lovely retail holiday parties. I remember them well. Sunday nights though managers need to be up bright and early on Mondays. A bit too much drinking on the part of upper management, secret santa where a few people get miffed, cliques and loners and gossips oh my!

My favorite last holiday party, I worked for The Body Shop. Most of the team was vegetarian. Our DSM took us to a steak restaurant where she drank too much red wine and chewed her rare steak, mouth open right in the face of the area manager, thinking it was hysterical. I must say it was a bit entertaining to watch his face go from shock to horror to disgust to fear.

And I always hated these parties because it was yet another event where I couldn't take Love of My Life, another event that drew fromt he few and far between hours we could share together.

Corporate meetings are the best - same crap but several days in a lameola town to do it in!

Anonymous said...

i've never been to an xmas party...sho shad!