I really just want to buy a hot new parka

I have been thinking about taking up snowboarding this winter. I have had very limited experience on skis in my life (I've skied maybe five times ever), and I heard that if you don't ski it's easier to learn how to snowboard. Also, Sexy Boyfriend used to be quite an avid snowboarder, but since I don't snowboard, and we spend most of our free time together, he hasn't gone snowboarding in quite a while. When we were at Bishop's, he would go once or twice a year with some buddies, but that's it.

I have tried snowboarding a few times - once it was actually quite fun cause I went with some friends who also had no clue what they were doing, and we spent most of the time laughing our asses off, when we weren't actually on our asses from falling.

The first time I tried to snowboard, I went with Sexy Boyfriend. He tried to be patient with me, I know that he did, and he meant well too, I know. But after a few tentative runs down the bunny hill, he decided it was time we go try a real run. So we got on the chair lift. This was the first issue. I have a CRIPPLING fear of heights. Like, I got severe vertigo once from hiking up a hill and fell - I would have tumbled all the way to the bottom if it hadn't been for the joint efforts of my friend Shawn and a very nice, large, spiny tree, which scraped my shoulder and left a scar that I still have.

On the chairlift, I'm gripping the bar and squeezing my eyes shut and trying to remember to breathe, and Sexy Boyfriend is twisting all around like some three year old on crack saying "Wow, look how great the view is. Turn around Babe and see the view. The view is spectacular. I can't believe how HIGH UP WE ARE." And I'm gripping and sweating and hyperventilating. When we finally reached the top, I of course did the whole arms pinwheeling thing trying not to fall flat on my face in front of all the other people trying not to ram right into me who are being shot off the chairlift behind us. I made it pretty far out of the way, but of course still fell. Whatever.

Then Sexy Boyfriend said: "Let's go down this run. I went down this one this morning while you were (peeing, having hot chocolate, waiting in line for my rental, etc - all the things I did to avoid actually snowboarding) - it's not so bad."

Me: "Is it steep, because I don't feel comfortable with steep. I don't like when you can't see the path in front of you." (you know, when it feels like you are about to fall off the face of the Earth cause you can't see the bottom of the hill)

Him: "No problem, you'll be fine on this one."

I was so not fine. Not even a little bit fine. I was wobbly and bobbly, and it was really cold up there, and the hill was so steep - I couldn't see the path in front of me, not even a bit. I could have hit a tree. Or a person. Or I could have gone tumbling all the way down the hill. So, after I started crying and shaking and inched forward about ten feet down the hill, then fell, I unstrapped that snowboard and started walking. Sexy Boyfriend kept on snowboarding, (show-off) and took big huge slow curves. He would come close and try to talk me into getting back on the board, saying that it didn't get any worse than this, and that I could do it. But I didn't budge, and when we finally got to the bottom I turned in my equipment and had some hot chocolate.

So, after this wonderful experience, I didn't go riding again for a while, and then went with my friends, and we had a lot of fun. Now I'm thinking that I would like to really try to learn, with an actual instructor who will probably have more effective methods of talking me down. We'll see when the snow comes.

On a more important note, I really hate it when my dog throws up, but I especially hate it when he throws up near the sofa/coffee table area. I have cleaned the floor and sprayed Febreeze like eight times, and I can still smell it. And we have hardwood floor. I don't understand!!! Yuck!