My Worthless Opinion on Fall TV Part 1

I don't really feel like posting about work. Just know that it is fun, and I'm liking it so far, but I'm finding it exhausting because a) I'm learning a lot of stuff and b) I'm used to sitting on my ass all day long either at work or home, so being on my feet is tough.

It's Big Brother AND Rock Star Night, so here I am on the sofa, barely able to keep my eyes open. I hate Ivette so much, and she just won the Power of Veto, which means she is in the final three. If she wins the money, I will never watch Big Brother ever again. I will banish Big Brother from my house, and I will write a strongly worded letter to CBS telling them they need to allow viewers to vote for who they want to evict, like they did in the first season. Right now, April and Ivette are fighting and turning on each other, which is hilarious, because they are part of "The Friendship" and are supposed to be "Friends" and "respectful of each other". Maggie looks like she's going to cry. Or laugh. I'm not sure. It's hilarious.

Every year at this time, the new television season begins. I usually get sucked in by at least 87 shows, but I also tend to pass judgement on umpteen other programs, which I'm sure are fine programs unto themselves, however for whatever reason, be it a dumb premise, or maybe just a sucky promo ad, I think they look stupid and continually bash them until they stop airing the commercials, or the show, or both. So, I thought I would share some of my feeling with you, Internet. I'd like to start with the current self-professed number one network, CBS. (I have done no research whatsoever to see if this claim is true.)

1. Criminal Minds - A show about profilers in the FBI profiling criminals to catch them. I think this show was already on TV, and it was called The Profiler. I'm not a fan of recycled TV - or maybe I am and am just using that as an excuse to hate this show. Plus, it stars Mandy Patinkin, who I thought was dead before I saw him hawking some kind of weird cholesterol medication, that will probably give you cancer or heart disease or diarrhea, (at least one of these, I can almost guarantee) on TV this summer, and now the ads for this show.

2. Out of Practice - I just don't like sitcoms. I can't remember the last half hour show I started watching. Plus I don't think I could ever find Henry Winkler funny after seeing him as a crazy-assed psycho guy on Third Watch. And I'm mad that Stockard Channing is moving on the from The West Wing, even though I knew she wouldn't be in the White House this year anyway cause it's her husbands last month in office. But I like her on the West Wing - she should not be allowed to do any other shows. Especially with Fonzie.

3. How I Met Your Mother - Another sitcom, this one featuring that creepy flute girl from American Pie, and Doogie Howser. How innovative of CBS to cast a sitcom with an actor who played an iconic role that he can't possibly be separated from (Doogie) and who also scared the shit out of me on a kick-ass show on NBC (Law and Order, Criminal Intent).

4. Ghost Whisperer - From the network's point of view, NBC put out Medium and it ended up pretty popular (I personally give Medium less than another year on the air), so it would be brilliant of them to saturate the market with this crap, and see if they can split the difference. I've seen some pretty bad shows survive a season on Friday nights, only to be actually watched and kicked off the air in their sophomore season (Joan of Arcadia). However, at least these shows (Joan of Arcadia) had a half decent cast supporting their cockamamee premises, and unfortunately, Ghost Whisperer only has Jennifer Love Hewitt. So sad for her that Party of Five had to end, and thus her career as well. Bet she wishes she had stayed with Carson Daly.

This week I'd also like to go through NBC and ABC, but I won't bother touching Fox, cause pretty much everything on Fox sucks, except maybe Arrested Development, which I only watch occasionally cause it's a sitcom.