Probably my best discovery in a while - Simon would disagree

Have you ever gotten a little baby kitten, and he's so cute and puffy, and sweet. And then he grows up, and still so cute, and it's time to chop off his balls, and you're okay with that, but they also ask if you want him declawed, and you then face the eternal moral dilemma.

Yes, yes I would love to have him declawed. And my furniture would love it too. But I'm not sure I could live with myself knowing my kitty had been robbed of his claws and first knuckles forever. With no hope of defending himself if he ever escaped. Or for that matter, no hope of defending himself from an ever-grumpy Basset Hound who would later come into his life and become his eternal nemesis.

So you don't have him declawed, and you feel good about it. Until it's 4am and he's sharpening his claws on the wooden doors of your $500 wardrobe. Then you don't feel so good.

I have become increasingly anxious about the claw situation (and other situations too, but don't worry, I'm back on my meds) because we are moving soon (have ya heard?) and are probably getting a bunch of new furniture which we would prefer to not have scratched up. Then I found this.

Cue the angels singing and sunshine through the clouds from above.

These are the best things ever. Guilt-free. Easy to put on (although Simon doesn't love having them put on, it only takes about five minutes to apply them, and five minutes for them to set). And, if your cat is a boy and is really pissing you off, you can get back at him by buying the pink ones. I highly recommend them.

Things I hate about the Food Network

1 - Rachel Ray's accent - it's out of control. She moved from the midwest like ten million years ago - that accent should be fading out by now.

2 - Ina Garten's breathing - I know they keep the mikes really sensitive on these cooking shows, so you can hear all the fun food sounds (which also gross me out - especially when they are mixing up really gloppy foods), but I really could go without hearing the Barefoot Contessa's heavy breathing while still reaping the benefits of learning how to make a great rack of lamb.

3 - Giada DeLaurentis' giant cranium. Can that girl's head get any larger? really? She's like a Barbie doll, or no, one of those Bratz dolls that they have now. Tiny little mini-body, HUGE GIGANTIC HEAD.

A friend of ours

Things are moving into second gear in the whole "moving" thing. We picked up some boxes on the weekend, so I can start packing up (yay!), we did our home inspection on Saturday, which let us know that a) our place is too new to have any problems and b) our place was constructed well, so there are no foreseeable problems other than normal wear and tear. Last night SB met with our landlady to let her know we will not be renewing our lease - she was actually really sad and said that we are her best tenants.

Trying to decide now what furniture we will keep and what we will sell. Anybody wanna buy a Leksvik 7 drawer chest? $100.

I haven't had much time lately to think of things other than work and moving, and I know TV is not much more exciting to hear about, but YAY the Sopranos are coming back in two weeks! I've been watching the re-runs of part one of season six, and I know it didn't air that long ago, but I had totally forgotten all of the crazy stuff that happened at the end of Part I. I think I was so sad that we were left hanging that I had totally blocked out the good stuff.

- Phil Leotardo is in the hospital with a heart attack and Tony goes to him for a truce - SO HUGE
- AJ starts a relationship with a Puerto Rican who has a kid. And he's working in construction. Before he met the girl, I thought it was only a matter of time before he got mobbed up. Then when he started seeing her, I thought he was safe. Then at the end, when he's talking to them about buying her necklace at the mall and Christopher is like "you should have asked me, I know a guy" I was like - yikes, AJ is totally getting made!
- Meadow is in California - something bad has to happen, because she is altogether too happy, and Finn is the one who ratted on Vito and I think that will end up coming back somehow.
- Carmela's spec house is supposed to distract her from searching for Adriana, but I think she is going to find out that Tony had her whacked.
- I WANT FURIO TO COME BACK

So much stuff! anyway, if you've never watched before, then I guess it's kinda late to get into it, but I highly suggest getting all the DVDs and watching.

Adventures in psychopharmaceuticals

I have been taking meds for about 18 months. They keep me from crying in the pharmacy, in my car, and when I run out of Cheetohs. My doctor said we would try them for a year or so, and then wean me off slowly and see how it goes. When I got back from vacation, I had about 14 pills left, and then one refill.

I decided to wean off, convinced I am now happy, and well-adjusted, and fabulous, so why do I need this crutch? I started by taking half a pill a day, then every two days, then not at all. I haven't taken any meds for about a month now.

I thought it was going really great - not one phone commercial had made me cry, I wasn't feeling exhausted all the time (that was one of my major symptoms when I first went on meds - I was just constantly tired. I think I would have stayed in bed all day for a week if it had been allowed.) But then I noticed something.

Sometimes I would find myself acting like I was on speed. Things would blurt out of my mouth before they even popped into my head. All the time. I've been almost manic, just talking and talking and talking. I found myself at a client meeting wondering how I had gotten off on a tangent about dog diarrhea. The other night while watching TV with SB I kept cracking him up with all the random one-liners I kept throwing at him.

So, while I'm glad that I no longer want to crawl into my bed and sleep for a month, I don't think this new behavior is quite acceptable either. At least I am functional, but I don't trust myself to open my mouth, for fear of what will come out of it.

I'll go see the doctor next week and see what he thinks. Not sure if I will go back on my old meds or get something new, but in the meantime I'm thinking of taking my routine on the road.

A full closet be not a good closet

Before Christmas I did a closet clean-out and piled two garbage bags full of clothes that I haven't worn for...well some of them I've had since high school. It felt good, and a bit melancholic as well. My closet and drawers were jam-packed full, but a lot of the stuff that I was donating was just slightly too small for me (or a lot too small, depending what era of my life it originated in), and I couldn't help but thinking that I could get some use out of it if I would just lose that ten pounds (or 20, or 30...)

Now that we are moving (yay yay yay), it's time to do a full purge of all of our stuff. We have stuff that I haven't seen since we moved it from Lennoxville five years ago. That stuff has to go.

Yesterday was Closet Day, and I cleaned out mine and SB's closet, and all of our dressers. We ended up with three more garbage bags of clothes to donate, and one garbage bag of garbage - torn, ripped, gross clothes that no one would want. And underwear. Who wants 2nd hand underwear? Where did all this stuff come from?

Today is Magazine Day - I'm trying to go through all the magazines I have accumulated, pull out anything useful, and chuck the rest. Wedding mags stay. Cosmo from 1987 is garbage. New Yorker is a keeper. US magazine announcing Britney and Justin's break-up - although nostalgic - is getting recycled.

I feel good getting all these things done, and finally decluttering, but I also feel a bit overwhelmed. When did we accumulate all of this stuff? Where did it come from? And, though it may seem trivial, some things are hard to make the call on. What if in three months I think back and regret chucking something?

So much pressure.

Ours, ours, all ours

So, we will be moving on or before May 1st. On or before, meaning the current owners are already moved out, so as soon as all the inspections, document perusals (condo rules and agreements), and notary crap is done, we could theoretically pay up and move in. Could be done in as little as two weeks. Whoa.

Now it's time to start adding up all the moving expenses, of which there are many many many, and they add up. Especially hook up fees - pretty pissed that we have been Bell clients for ten years and we still have to pay $50 to get our account and number transferred.

Here are a couple of photos of the space, with the current owners' stuff, of course, but gives you a bit of an idea.

I can't wait to get in there!!!

Well, I know one thing for sure...

My digestive system does not enjoy stressful situations like condo buying.

I was finally able to get some sleep last night, after taking some allergy meds which put me out.

The problem I'm having today is stomach-burn (not even heart burn, just total gurgle belly). I went and got a hair cut to try to relax a bit (I find my hair turned out a bit weird - maybe it will just take a few days to get used to).

Anyway, so the seller gave us another counter-offer, which we are accepting, and will sign and send back to him tomorrow. Everything will be notarized at the end of April, and we will be good to go move in on the 1st of May. Holy crap, that's in like a month!

WE ARE MOVING IN A MONTH.

Barring any major catastrophes, of course. We have to get the place inspected, even though it's brand new, still a good idea to have an official reading on the state of the place when we get it. Also have to arrange for movers, and start thinking about things we need to buy/sell before moving.

I feel like starting to pack right now. I'm so excited!!!

Okay, now I'm going to go and try to sooth my stomach.

The waiting game

Yesterday we put in an offer for The Dream Condo. Now I am tearing my eyes out with the horror and the agony of the waiting.

The Dream Condo is literally that. We saw quite a few places, all of them built recently (since 2000), some around 1000 square feet (like Dream Condo) some giant ones over 1500 sq ft with mezzanines. But none of them felt like home. Dream Condo automatically gave me the feeling that I already lived there. There are only a handful of little projects I could foresee possibly undertaking to make it more our own (like a counter upgrade - gross green laminate countertop in the kitchen, and some other gross laminate in the bathroom. I dream of soapstone.) But even the paint colors are us. They even have the same furniture we do (albeit it is IKEA furniture, and half the city probably has it, but it just fits in the space.)

Dream Condo is in an apartment-style building, but doesn't feel like it. There is a little gate you enter instead of a doorway, and the stairwell leading up to our door is open. We would be on the second floor, so not too high up for the doggies, who are quite old and don't like stairs so much, but not on the ground floor, with people walking by and getting all up in our business. The walls and floors are all constructed of concrete, so there is practically no way to be bothered by neighbors, unless they are hanging out their windows screaming and you happen to be on your balcony. We would have a parking spot. I would be less than five minutes away from half of our clients. The Dream Condo is heated by blowing air, not baseboards, so feels more comfy. There is central air conditioning. A gas fireplace. A giant spa tub and separate shower. Hardwood floors. Cherry wood cabinets. Stone tile in the kitchen. His and her closets. A giant balcony. And no grass to mow.

Why would we choose a condo? It's next to impossible to find a free-standing house in the city that we could afford. Living outside of the city is not an option for us right now, as I need to be close to the business, and we can't afford to rent an office. Plus SB also works downtown. Some of the older condos are really charming and romantic-looking, but how romantic is it to hear your neighbors upstairs clomping around at 5am? And how charming are all the other problems that come along with a place built in 1920? We don't have time for that. Would it be nice to have a yard - theoretically yes. But our dogs are so old and dependent I don't think they'd really enjoy it, maintenance is annoying, and....maintenance is annoying. Our balcony is big enough for a bbq, lawnchairs, a nice furniture set, etc. We can hang out out there on a Saturday and drink beer, read the paper, let the dogs and cat sleep in the sun.

I don't know, maybe I'm being too idealistic. I'm sure once we (if we) move in we will find out what the downsides are to this place. But for now I just want all this offer-counteroffer-countercounteroffer bullshit to be done, and I want to know if and when we are moving. I can't sleep. I have a migraine. I hate negotiations. SB loves them, and is having a hard time understanding my grumpiness. But we should know by tonight. So I'm trying to keep busy and make the day go by fast fast fast.

Whirlwind

Wowie.

So, in the last week I have:
- worked two groups a day minimum as one of my girls was on vacation
- had a dog puke in the car every day for five days.
- started looking for a condo to buy
- met with an agent to help us find the perfect condo
- watched The Departed - awesome!!!
- got bit in the face by a puppy, very near my eye
-got snapped in the hand and arm by a giant elasticky leash one of my clients has when her dog got excited, chased a ball, and the clasp broke, subsequently snapping the leash back on me, narrowly missing my eyes.
- had a dog spray in the car to mark it (an un-neutered pug male - not a whole lot of stink or pee, but still very annoying and icky)
- found the perfect condo
- started looking at making an offer on that condo
- lost a dog for half an hour (found the little bastard, but he kept running from me. He was soooo sticky and dirty from the salty sidewalks. All the other dogs were pissed at him - because of him, their walk got cut short)
- had the time change totally fuck up my life.

It has been a crazy week - we are going to see Dream Condo again tonight (our third visit - we've been to two open houses there, and now we're going back with our agent). And I LOVE LOVE LOVE it. We've seen a bunch of other places, but this place just gives me that feeling. You know the feeling. Like you already live there. I just love it so much. When we talk about it, it's all I can say. I just love it. So much. Ugh, I will really hate if we don't get it. Unless something better magically pops up out of nowhere. I hate the waiting. It really drags it out, having to make appointments all over the place to see it, finance it, blah blah blah. Poor SB is swamped at work as well, and is the primary responsible for doing the whole business part of it (I just participate in the selection, decoration, and general "putting togetheredness" of it all), so he's having a tough time balancing, I'm sure.

Anyway, I have a lot of anxiety right now. I can't wait until we settle on something (ie The Dream Condo) and the moving process begins. And ends. I can't wait.

I have a problem...

I'm addicted to Facebook!

What the hell is this thing, and where the hell did it come from? Who is the evil, evil person who came up with this bright idea?

I got an invite like a month ago, and signed up, but never went back. Then suddenly, this week I got like four more invites. So yesterday I officially got on there, and started looking for people. Actually, the most fun thing is browsing everyone else's friends and finding people that way, cause it turns out I'm not as great with names as I thought I was. Plus, people get married, and the crazy ladies who don't live in Quebec actually change their names when they get married. Crazy girls. (just kidding - it's so weird here, for those of you who don't live here, it is actually EXTREMELY difficult to change your name when you get married. People rarely do it officially.)

Anyway, so I've been stuck on Facebook all morning, even though I have to do my payroll.

Oh, also, yesterday I got bit in the face by a six month old lab. I was trying to grab her collar to give her back to her owner (she chased my group down the trail, and the owner hadn't even brought a leash with him - dumbass), and she just jumped right up and mouthed me in the face with her sharp little puppy teeth. My face was of course frozen, since it is minus one million degrees outside, so it really hurt, but she didn't break the skin, thank goodness. Nor did I lose an eye. This time.

I have no idea what "Meme" means, but I love this one

I found this on Jen's site, and think it is fantastic!!!!

Original Instructions: In the list of books below, bold the ones you’ve read, italicize the ones you want to read, cross out the ones you won’t touch with a ten-foot pole, put a cross (+) in front of the ones on your book shelf, and asterisk (*) the ones you’ve never heard of.

I left some books in just regular old font, these are the ones I am not sure I want to read or not.

Can't get strikethrough to work in blogger, so have made the ones I will not touch with a ten foot pole red.

Feel free to tell me I am totally wrong and should read something on this list (take note that I hate hate hate magic realism, fantasy, and anything that involves wizards. I will just never like these, ever, so don’t try to push them on me.)

1. +The Da Vinci Code (Dan Brown)
2. Pride and Prejudice (Jane Austen)
3. To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee) (I can’t believe I don’t own this one!)
4. Gone With The Wind (Margaret Mitchell)
5. The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (Tolkien)
6. The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)
7. The Lord of the Rings: Two Towers (Tolkien)
8. Anne of Green Gables (L.M. Montgomery)
9. +Outlander (Diana Gabaldon)
10. A Fine Balance (Rohinton Mistry)
11. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (Rowling)
12. +Angels and Demons (Dan Brown)
13. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Rowling)
14. A Prayer for Owen Meany (John Irving) (I love John Irving – slowly working my way through all of his stuff)
15. +Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden)
16. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (Rowling)
17. +Fall on Your Knees(Ann-Marie MacDonald)
18. The Stand (Stephen King)
19. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban(Rowling)
20. Jane Eyre (Charlotte Bronte)
21. The Hobbit (Tolkien)
22. +The Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)
23. Little Women (Louisa May Alcott)
24. The Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold)
25. +Life of Pi (Yann Martel) (hated this book. Hated.)
26. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Douglas Adams)
27. +Wuthering Heights (Emily Bronte)
28. The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (C. S. Lewis)
29. East of Eden (John Steinbeck)
30. Tuesdays with Morrie(Mitch Albom)
31. Dune (Frank Herbert)
32. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)
33. Atlas Shrugged (Ayn Rand)
34. +1984 (Orwell)
35. The Mists of Avalon (Marion Zimmer Bradley)
36. The Pillars of the Earth (Ken Follett)
37. *The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay)
38. +I Know This Much is True(Wally Lamb) (probably my favorite book ever)
39. *The Red Tent (Anita Diamant)
40. The Alchemist (Paulo Coelho)
41. The Clan of the Cave Bear (Jean M. Auel)
42. +The Kite Runner (Khaled Hosseini)
43. +Confessions of a Shopaholic (Sophie Kinsella)
44. The Five People You Meet In Heaven (Mitch Albom)
45. Bible
46. +Anna Karenina (Tolstoy)
47. The Count of Monte Cristo (Alexandre Dumas)
48.+ Angela’s Ashes (Frank McCourt)
49. The Grapes of Wrath (John Steinbeck)
50. +She’s Come Undone (Wally Lamb)
51. The Poisonwood Bible (Barbara Kingsolver)
52. A Tale of Two Cities (Dickens)
53. *Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
54. Great Expectations (Dickens)
55. +The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald)
56. The Stone Angel (Margaret Laurence)
57. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Rowling)
58. The Thorn Birds (Colleen McCullough)
59. +The Handmaid’s Tale (Margaret Atwood)
60. *The Time Traveller’s Wife (Audrew Niffenegger)
61. Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky)
62. The Fountainhead (Ayn Rand)
63. War and Peace (Tolstoy)
64. Interview With The Vampire (Anne Rice)
65. Fifth Business (Robertson Davis)
66. One Hundred Years Of Solitude (Gabriel Garcia Marquez)
67. The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (Ann Brashares)
68. Catch-22 (Joseph Heller) -
69. Les Miserables (Hugo)
70. The Little Prince (Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
71. +Bridget Jones’ Diary (Fielding)
72. Love in the Time of Cholera (Marquez)
73. Shogun (James Clavell)
74. The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje)
75. The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
76. *The Summer Tree (Guy Gavriel Kay)
77. A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Betty Smith)
78. The World According To Garp (John Irving)
79. +The Diviners (Margaret Laurence)
80. +Charlotte’s Web (E.B. White)
81. +Not Wanted On The Voyage (Timothy Findley)
82. Of Mice And Men (Steinbeck)
83. *Rebecca (Daphne DuMaurier)
84. *Wizard’s First Rule (Terry Goodkind)
85. Emma (Jane Austen)
86. Watership Down(Richard Adams)
87. Brave New World (Aldous Huxley)
88. +The Stone Diaries (Carol Shields)
89. *Blindness (Jose Saramago)
90. *Kane and Abel (Jeffrey Archer)
91. In The Skin Of A Lion (Ondaatje)
92. Lord of the Flies (Golding)
93. *The Good Earth(Pearl S. Buck)
94. The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd)
95. The Bourne Identity (Robert Ludlum)
96. The Outsiders (S.E. Hinton)
97. +White Oleander (Janet Fitch)
98. A Woman of Substance (Barbara Taylor Bradford)
99. The Celestine Prophecy (James Redfield)
100. Ulysses (James Joyce) (I love James Joyce’s short work, just not sure if I’m ready to commit to this one)

I recommend meme'ing this too - if you do, leave it in my comments!

Back on track

Wow, so it has taken me a week to get back into the swing of things after vacation. My tan is fading. It's depressing.

SB ran the business alone while I was away, and I must say he did a pretty fantastic job considering a few weird things popped up. He handled them well, especially since he was in the middle of one of his busiest weeks at his real job.

My second day back on the job, I took my mommy with me to visit some cats. They were fun and sweet, and I think my mom actually liked playing with them while I did all the dirty chores. The apartment was on the second floor, with an interior stairwell with about 15 stairs. You see where this is going, right? We took our shoes off at the top of the stairs, and then when we left, obviously, we put our shoes back on at the top of the stairs. But the stairs were painted with a very glossy paint. And our boots were wet.

Yup, I fell down the stairs.

My mom went down first, and was unlocking the door when I fell down like 10 stairs. She turned and said "What are you doing?" Seriously?

So for like three days last week my ass and right arm were killing me. My ass hurt when I ran. My arm hurt when I buckled my seatbelt.

Welcome back from vacation.

Looky looky who's back!!!

Hey there all! Did you miss me? I sure didn't miss you, cause I was on a beach for a week, but now sadly I am back at home.

Cuba was amazing, as always. We had lots of sun, great beach days, the food was reasonably okay (I could never say it was great, no matter where we stayed - buffet is buffet), and all was very relaxing. Except for one thing.

THE RASH CAME BACK!!!!!

I couldn't even believe it - it showed up on the third day, and is still coming on strong. I thought maybe it was the sun, or the salt water, or something the hotel washed their sheets and towels in. Then I thought maybe it was the rum, so I only drank beer and wine for a whole day. Then it got worse, so I thought maybe it was the beer, so drank only rum all day. But I just kept itching and itching. And am still itching. I took some photos of it one day, so once I upload I will post them. I cannot be allergic to Cuba. I will not. I refuse.

So, drugged up on Benedryl, I was unfortunately not very exciting as far as travelling companions go, but I think my mom had a very fun trip, and finally got to relaxing by the end of it.

Our return travel was a bit tiring - we left Cuba Friday night/Saturday morning at 4:20am, so got to Montreal around 8am Saturday, then I had a hundred million things to start working on for the business, which is still in operation after my week away thanks to SB's valiant efforts. Then we went out for dinner to my mom's favorite restaurant here, then it was time for my Mommy's Christmas/birthday gift, the Rod Stewart concert. I am not a huge Rod Stewart fan, but my mom has loved him forever. It was actually a really great show, he played mostly old songs, and I knew most of the words. We had loads of fun, and took lots of photos and some video.

Then we went home and I finally got to have some sleep.

So that's what's been going on. I have tons of little stories from vacation, I'm sure, so once my photos are up, I will start posting about that. For now, it's time for some Benedryl, and the good awards are starting on the Oscars.

Deja vu

Remember last year, when I went on a lovely Cuban holiday, and the night before we left I got a ticket for running a red light?

And the year before that, when I went on a lovely Cuban holiday and came back with severe bronchitis from a cold I caught on the plane on the way there?

I just got a ticket for speeding. Three days before my departure, but I think within the same week is enough to prove that the fates are not happy when I am happy and going on vacation.

While you were having a wonderful weekend...

I WAS DYING!

Dying, I say.

Or at least had a very, very bad cold. Which I still have, but am fighting raucously whilst trying to prepare for air travel on Friday. I have flown with a head full of snot before, and it sucked hard.

So, Friday I woke up pretty much blown down, with a runny nose and zero energy. I had no walks, so that was a blessing, but it just kept getting worse and worse. I NyQuilled. I DayQuilled. I moaned about how I was on Death's doorstep. Sexy Boyfriend seemed indifferent.

Today I woke up feeling slightly better than I have been, meaning I wasn't leaking anymore. But then while I was dropping off the doggies from my group I was sucking on a cough drop (the menthol gets the sinuses moving), and I had one of those moments when you inhale at the exact moment that a bit of saliva is there, and then you feel like you are drowning, and then I had a coughing fit. The dogs thought it was very fun. Almost as fun as when I turn on the rear windshield wiper and scare them.

So, now I can't talk without squeaking. I will be taking more NyQuil in about twenty minutes and climbing into bed.

Which, by the way, is extra comfy because SB and I bought new pillows this weekend!!! I thought it might be good to get out of the house on Saturday (which, by the way, was so not a good idea and left me in a clammy sweat), and we had been meaning to use our Bay gift cards. They had a pillow sale, and bam, here we are with four new pillows and a whole lot of great sleep. I have been a goose down girl for a very long time, but recently began thinking that they may be contributing to my allergies, (probably not to down, but maybe the dust mites that like to live in there), so the new pillows are poly-fill and hypoallergenic. I love them.

Ya, way more then you needed to know about my bedroom, but how often does something this exciting happen?

Cuba in one week - WooHooo!!!!

So, ya, one week til vacation. I was kinda not thinking about vacation a lot, and wasn't really excited cause I never thought about it. But the last two weeks have been crazy burning hell. So now I'm VERY excited that next week is vacation. Very.

Charlie is still not showing signs of rabies since his showdown with the squirrel last week. Hard to tell since the vet said to watch for "A weird smell from the bite site" (his mouth - which always reeks) and "aggressive behavior". Hello, this dog has bit me at least five separate times. Anyway, so far no paralysis, and no foaming from the mouth. Awesome.

We've taken on like five million new clients in the last two weeks! Actually, probably like five new dogs, but whatever, I feel like I'm always running around town meeting them. I think that this sudden rush has been spurned by the ungodly frigid weather we've had lately and the fact that no one actually wants to be outside except for dogs. I hope they stay on through the spring and summer.

I went to yoga the other night for the first time with Nazi yoga guy (I have been avoiding him and taking classes with the other instructors instead). It was sooooooo hard. I'm pretty sure he pumps the heat higher than he's supposed to. Anyway, I thought I was going to die. But I didn't. I'm pretty sure I'll be ready for yoga again tomorrow. With one of the normal instructors.

The funniest/saddest thing I've seen in a while

The other day on the group walk I brought my two mutts with me, and we met up with the other group walker and all walked together. We were having a lovely time, and everyone was happy, until we noticed that one of the doggies run towards something in the woods. Maria screamed "Aaaah - he's got a squirrel!!!!"

At first I thought it was a dead squirrel, which happens all too often, but then the dog dropped the squirrel, and it was moving around and stuff. Yuck. A bunch of dogs had converged on the area, so I ran in to get them away and shoo them back onto the trail. Then my genius dog, Charlie, tried to sniff Dying Squirrel, got a little too close, and the Dying Squirrel latched onto his lip.

Picture, if you will, a high-strung Basset Hound (I know, that in itself is difficult to imagine) flopping his head back and forth with the most worried look I've ever seen, trying to shake free Dying Squirrel who has a death grip on his face. After a few seconds Dying Squirrel finally let loose, and I was able to grab Charlie by the collar and drag him away.

I feel bad that we had to leave the squirrel there suffering (I'm pretty sure it was already sick or dying to be on the ground in the first place for the first dog to catch hold of it), but I thought it was more important to get the dogs out of there so it didn't die while being ripped to pieces. However, as sad as that is, I would pay anyone at least $100 for a video of that 10 seconds Charlie had the squirrel stuck to his face.

Worst. Week. Over.

I hope.

The week did not slow down. Not even a little. There were tires to change out on one of the work cars, payroll to do, dogs to walk since one of my girls had the day off today. Also, Sick Cat got better, then got sicker, and today we had to put him down. It was my first time being with an animal when it was being euthanized, and I think I took it pretty well. The only time I started to tear up a bit was right before, while I was waiting for the vet I was scratching his ears and he started to purr. So sad - the rest of him was in so much pain that if you even tried to touch him he would growl and hiss, but he still loved getting his ears scratched.

So, that was a bit of a sucky end to the week, but what can you do, right? Our computer is back and fully operational - it was just a burned out power supply, which I guess is good, since it was relatively inexpensive to fix. I think I would have been just as happy if the whole thing was toast, but our info was still salvageable, and we could have gotten a new laptop. Oh well, for now I'm just thankful none of our data was lost.

That's the end of the week. I have to work this weekend, which sucks cause I'd really love to sleep in, but hopefully I'll be able to get a day or two off during the week this week to make up for it.

Worst. Week. Ever.

And it's only Tuesday.

Aside from getting whiplash on Saturday (which was actually the most fun I've ever had getting whiplash, and I would definitely choose snowboarding as my method of choice for getting whiplash in the future), I am having altogether a very crazy week.

Yesterday I woke up bright and early for our breakfast meeting at 7:30. At five to seven, we discovered that the truck had a flat tire. SB took a look at what it would take to change it out ourselves (for the record, Ford supplies you with the flimsiest, stupidest jack ever), and we decided we would leave it until after my meeting so I wouldn't be late. SB dropped me off at meeting. Meeting was actually fun, breakfast yummy. Only on the way home did I realize that the waiter over-charged us. A lot. Grrr.

One of my employees gave me a lift home. I called Roadside Assistance for a tire-change. They were actually quite quick. Drove to our mechanic and dropped off flat-tire for repair. Ran some errands, picked up my group, ran my group, dropped off my group. Looked for new windshield wipers at two different Canadian Tires for one of our vehicles. One store had driver's side size, but not passenger's. The other store had the passenger's side size and not the driver's. Got repaired tire put back on car. Went home.

Today, met a client at 9am. Got a call from one of my employees about a sick cat. A sick, bleeding cat. Took cat to Vet, who said outlook could be not good. Tried to contact Sick Cat's owner. Who's in England. Luckily, her assistant was able to get a message left for her, but wasn't sure when she would get back to me. Call from Vet - outlook not so bad, but still not guaranteed good. But could be worse. Picked up group, ran group, dropped off group. Visited Sick Cat - looking sad and pathetic with his lampshade on. Still no word from Sick Cat owner.

Went home - power out. Lovely. Couldn't do any office work. Call from Vet - need Sick Cat's insulin, Sick Cat needs to stay for a few days. Drove to Sick Cat's House, picked up insulin, drove to Vet, dropped off meds, petted Sick Cat. Sick Cat growls. Go home again.

Power back on. Yay. Press button to turn on computer. Nothing. Again. Nothing. AgainAgainAgainAgain. Call SB - I can deal with Sick Cat, Flat Tire, and running around like a crazy person no problem. But no computer - I'm almost in tears. Take computer to computer guy. Waiting now to hear results of "diagnostics". Sick Cat Owner calls - sounds calm, give her Vet's number, done with that for today.

So, a string of bad luck, leaving me very tired, and not very productive. But I guess it could be worse. Sick Cat could have been Dead Cat.

Finally some progress

Today I took a snowboarding lesson - the instructor seemed pretty impressed with my progress for a beginner, and I explained I had no problem with my heel edge, but couldn't do turns or get on my toe edge.

"Oh, you just turn your shoulders the way you want to turn, and then your legs will follow"

That's it?

So, before you knew it I was doing little mini-turns - still hard for me to stay on the toe edge, since I can't seem to get the balance between leaning too far forward or too far upright, but I can do a turn or two at least.

After my lesson, SB and I kept going for a few hours. Because of my balance issue and trying to get the feel of that, I fell quite a bit, but was taking it like a trouper. Until our last run. I had already fallen on my left butt/hip at least five times, and I'm sure a bruise will appear, but then I had a doozie of a back-flip thing and crashed on my butt, then whacked my head so hard my goggles flew off. I took a moment, then jumped up to catch up to SB, then like two seconds later some lady on skis ran smack into me from behind. I decided then we should call it a day. Before I died.

In other news, Cuba is a coming! Less than a month away now, and I can't wait! Sun, sand, drinks, and keeping my Mummy in line. They changed our flight times, so we end up getting a whole extra day of sunshine - WOOHOO!

Third time's a charm! Not really

Attempt number three at the snowboarding thing took place last night. I'm really starting to think that I'm not going to catch on to this thing. At least the snow was nice, so falling wasn't as painful as last time, but I was so afraid of falling because of my last experience that it was hard for me to try any new skills.

It was really cold (I think -20 was what we heard on the radio) plus the windchill, which at the top of the mountain was pretty crazy, but I didn't even notice because I was so terrified of falling, or getting run over by the little punks that obviously don't understand English or French when they see the signs that say "family zone/reduced speed".

Anyway, it took over an hour to do one run, and then it was time to go because they were shutting things down. SB is getting frustrated with me, I think, but I can't help it. I am so scared, so I go slow, and then my legs get killer sore because I'm so tense and always using the same muscles cause I still can't use my front edge. Ugh. I called yesterday to try and book a private lesson, but they didn't have any appointments available. I might try to get one for Friday afternoon. I think it will help to have a stranger yelling at me instead of SB.

When we got home I was freezing to death, so I took a hot shower, put on my pyjamas and crawled into bed. Then I was still freezing so I put on a hooded sweatshirt and wore the hood all night. That's how cold it was, cause until two nights ago we've been sleeping with the window open.

If only I could have the internet without an ISP

For the last three days, our internet connection has been....spotty. It's really annoying because each time it disconnects, I have to go into the office, climb under my desk, unplug all the routers and the modem, wait ten seconds, plug them each back in, then wait for the modem to reset itself, then see if it works. For the last three days, it was working enough that I could sporadically get some work emails done, get some tax stuff ready, and that's about it. No blogging. No personal email. Nothing.

Then this morning, I woke up to - SURPISE - a send/receive error on the office computer. Which means in the night the internet disconnected. Except this morning, it wouldn't log back on. I spent twenty minutes under the desk unplugging and re-plugging while my dog licked my face and whined.

Then I decided to call our ISP, who are just a bunch of dinks, really, aren't they? I really genuinely thought that maybe the girl had a brain in her head when after an hour and a half of checking connections, verifying ISP addresses, restarting the computer, resetting the modem, blah blah blah blah, finally we got a connection. Ten minutes after I hung up, the connection was lost. I was semi-tempted to buy a plane ticket to India to hunt that bitch down. I guess this is one of the benefits of global outsourcing - less deaths due to stringing customers along. SB said it is not their job to actually fix anything - they know there is a line problem, they know they can't do anything about it, but rather than tell you that, they keep you on the line until the connection randomly clicks in, tell you it's fixed, hang up and sing "HaHa Sucka."

By this time it was nearly noon, and I was pissed as hell. Not only was my internet not working, but due to icy weather, the satellite was out all morning too. I returned a few phone calls, stuffed some envelopes, then moped around until it was time for yoga.

The worst part is, I think it would be useless to up and change ISPs in protest. I think they are all the same - each one just as crappy as the next. It would just cost me more money in "connection fees" and modems, and then after three weeks of good service, I would wake up one morning to "Send/Receive Error."

Hey there 2007!

Wow, so it's the new year, and I have finally slowed down a bit at work. This week has been utterly decadent - a few work things, but all-in-all I pretty much just read and watched TV and got caught up on some office stuff. It felt SO GOOD!

Two nights ago SB and I went snowboarding for attempt #2 - we haven't had any natural snow lately, but they've been making some, so we thought we'd give it a try. However, the first run we did was a trail that was only recently opened, and it was hard-packed and .... hard-packed. I can't count the number of times I careened out of control, fell on my ass, fell to my knees, slid 50 feet on my back (thus pulling up my parka and causing major burn on my back). I have bruises everywhere. I was so discouraged when we finally got to the end that I was almost in tears, and SB was ready to strangle me with his board leash. We did another run, on one of the better groomed trails, and things went better, but I had hurt myself so bad on the first run that it just wasn't any fun. Even though we were only there for two runs, it took two hours, so I guess it was still worth the drive. And I'm still sore today. I'm going to set up an appointment to take a lesson next week - I have done okay so far with SB's instruction, but I get frustrated when he goes on ahead - it makes me panic, but he should be able to have fun too, so maybe the lesson is a great idea. Plus I'm sure the instructor will be able to explain things a little better to me.

In big, crazy news, I'm going to Cuba in February! I know, crazy! SB and I bought my mom tickets to see Rod Stewart (her fave 4ever) here in Montreal in February. She had already been planning on taking a trip south this year, so started looking into leaving from here, so she would maybe get a better price than leaving from Halifax. Plus she has to come here for the concert anyway. So, we found her a great deal, but then the problem became who would she travel with. Now, since the ski suit that SB got me for Christmas didn't work out (it didn't fit, and we couldn't find another one that I really loved), he offered to pay for part of my trip as my gift. WooHoo!!! I'm so excited, I could burst. It's very helpful that SB also got me a gift certificate to yoga, so I can spend the whole month between now and my trip getting in better shape. As long as snowboarding doesn't kill me in between yoga classes!

I would suck at living alone

Sexy Boyfriend is gone for a few days visiting his family. Since I have work stuff going on, I couldn't go and am home alone with the doggies and Simon.

I hate cooking for myself. I haven't cooked a real meal for the whole two days he's been gone. I have bagels for breakfast, so I guess that counts as a meal. For lunch I have had leftover pasta and then today I warmed up some frozen samosas. And some crackers on the side. Mmmm. Supper has been take-out - Quiznos, Subway.

Also, I am very lonely. I have called all my friends, called SB like four hundred times, and even spent a whole afternoon shopping. Although that was less about being lonely and more about needing some time to decompress - and spend my gift cards..... :P

When I am home alone, I rarely do things that are in any way productive. You are more likely to find me sitting on the sofa wondering if my cat ever wonders why he's the only one who pees in a box in the closet.

So, probably not the best time for experimenting....

Wowie wowie - what a crazy couple of weeks! I have made friends with more cats (for our business, not just random cats) in the last two weeks then in my whole entire life, I think. Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and Boxing Day were pretty insano - SB helped out tons, and I think there would have been some serious meltdown action if he hadn't been with me. Next year we will keep at least one staff member working through the holiday - we are just too busy for just us to take care of it. Oh, well, at least we had one year of being nice to them!

Anyway, so I haven't had a day off since......I forget, but it's been a while, and I think I will actually get a whole day off on Tuesday, so I can't wait! Today wasn't so bad because I had appointments in the morning and then at night, but had the afternoon off. I did some shopping, which was pretty relaxing, but went a bit overboard and now my feet hurt.

Last week, I started to forget to take my meds before bed. By the time I realized it, it had been almost a week. They say that when you are on "Mood Meds" that after a year of being symptom free, you usually give it a go without them, and since it has been a year since I have cried over handsoap and tampons, I thought since I was half-weaned anyway, might as well cut 'em out all together.

Bad idea. Bad, bad idea.

I haven't really been spending any time crying in my car, which is what I did most of last fall, however this morning, while administering an insulin injection to my cat friend Freddie, I started crying over a commercial about DVR recorders. Or something similar. It's the one where the dad is watching a hockey game, and the little boy comes down and says he can't get to sleep. The dad pauses his hockey game ("you can pause live TV"), and makes like he is going to get up and put the boy to bed, but then he thinks twice about it, and says, "Wanna see a great goal?" Then he rewinds the game a bit, they watch the goal, and cuddle on the couch to watch the last few minutes of the game. All the while this really great song is playing, and at the end of the commercial you hear some of the words to the song, which is a line that says "I will be the one who loves you the most." I didn't even realize I was crying until Regis and Kelly came back on.

Aside from this alleged symptom, I'm feeling a little...wired. Frazzled. Maybe manic could be a description, but I really have no idea, since I don't think I ever had manic episodes before. My head is in overdrive, I feel like I'm in fast-forward, and I always feel hungry.

So, I think I won't be skipping my meds anymore.

Fast times

How did you spend your Saturday?

Bet it wasn't by baking 30 dozen Peanut-butter Honey Crunch dog biscuits whilst watching a marathon of The Real World: Austin.

Nope, I bet none of your were lucky enough to have a Saturday that exciting.

Hitting the slopes - a little harder than I had hoped

This weekend was the first weekend of ski/snowboard season!!! We bought our season passes last week, and decided to give it a go with some night-riding last night. Now, because we haven't gotten much snow yet, the hill has been making lots but only a few trails were open. I think there were like five trails or something like that. But, two were easy, and pretty long, so we decided to get a jump on things and get me a-learnin'.

My equipment is friggin' awesome. In the past when I tried to learn I had always rented equipment, but always had problems with pinchy boots, ill-fitting stuff, wrong board sizes, etc. When I decided this would be my year to learn, I knew I should invest in my own equipment, and I am so glad that I did. I think i would have gotten more discouraged with equipment problems. Plus, my board is cute. Who doesn't want to look cute?

All in all, things went pretty well. I have semi-mastered my back edge, so instead of nice ess-curves I make kinda z's, cutting back and forth on the trail, but always facing forward or pointed down. I tried a few times to go on my front edge, but fell on my face, so decided just to do what I was good at and not force too much on the first try!

It was a pretty fun night, although with the whole not a lot of trails open thing came the problem of people off all skill levels riding the same trails. This is very annoying when you are learning, and you can hear someone whizzing down, coming towards you. It made me so nervous!!! I also had some difficulties getting off of one of the chairlifts - but the other one was no problem. I fell down WAY too much at the beginning, thus my arms are killing me. First of all, from being jammed so much into the snow, catching myself, and second from pushing myself up at such awkward angles. Today my shoulders are killing me. (My actual shoulder joints, not my back and shoulder blades). Also, my thighs are killing from always being crouched. SB said that when I start to ride on my front edge my legs will get less tired cause I'll be working all different muscles instead of the same ones.

I was so sore when we got home I had to lay on the heating pad before bed. We only did three runs in like three hours, but they were the long and windy ones, and the first one took super forever. The last one was actually pretty fast cause I didn't fall and was moving faster by that point, but my legs and arms were so sore I was ready to call it a day.

Can't wait til next weekend!

Christmas is dead

As it goes with our kind of business, Christmas is a very busy time of year. While a lot of our doggies apparently take the holidays off, the kitty cats that we sit for come out of the woodwork for the period between Dec 15 and Jan 8. Because I am a super great person and love my girls, and also don't feel like paying time and a half to them when I have to be around anyway, I will be the only one working on Christmas Day and New Year's Day. Now, New year's Day is not so bad, as per the schedule I have as of today (I have at least one addition per day these days). But Christmas. Christmas is dead.

I have 20 visits scheduled that day so far. Each visit is 30 minutes. plus travel time in between. Two of the visits are actually an hour long because it's a diabetic cat who needs to eat all of his food before getting his insulin, and he likes to take his sweet old time. If you calculate that out, it's about 15.5 hours of work. With no breaks for meals. Luckily SB has offered to help me do some of them, but I think this means I won't be cooking a big Christmas dinner.

Since I've been quite concentrated on getting the business ready for the holiday, I am not exactly in a Christmas-y mood. Last weekend SB said:
"Do you feel like getting our tree this weekend?"
"no"
"yeah, i guess it's too early."
"I don't really think I want a tree."

Silence and inner tears on his part.

Probably like ten pounds lighter

It's all gone. And I didn't even cry once.

Okay, so not all gone, but like a foot gone. You know it's serious when they put away the hairdresser scissors and break out the old-school Grade 1 teacher scissors (the metal ones that used to have a black coating, but that's wearing off so they are kinda just metal-colored with peeling black paint).

Anyway, so here is what my ponytail looked like after the fact:

So sad, so lonely, like some kind of beached sea cucumber. Admittedly, the ends are not in such great shape, but I think it will still contribute to a pretty terrific wig.

I was sweating when I arrived at the salon because I was so nervous. The girl at the front desk was super nice and told me about her friend who had done it. Then a random client was like "you're donating your hair?" and I said yes, and she was like "that is so awesome, good for you" It made me feel really great, and took my mind off of all the ways it could possibly end up sucky.

The hairdresser was really cool too - she helped me a lot figuring out what would work best rather than what would look great today and never again because I hate blowdrying my hair and am just generally hair lazy. I have seen people on TV who have this moment of breaking down when the scissors start to cut through the hair, but that didn't happen. I even liked the sound.

I can't wait for my first at-home wash. It will feel strange, having like 1/3 of the hair than I used to. Here are some photos.

In taking my own photo for this little exercise, I have discovered that I make some pretty funny faces. Also, please take note that, yes, that is indeed Degrassi the Next Generation on the TV behind me. Craig and Ashley got back together today.

More fun with Christmas commercials

Has anyone seen the new World Vision Canada Christmas ad? They now have a catalogue of items that you can purchase on behalf of your gift receiver. So you give this stuff to people in Africa in the name of someone here, in your family, etc. It's a really great idea, but I'm so not into how they advertise it. I've searched YouTube and can't find it on there, which was very disappointing.

It starts with a bunch of kids singing a version of the 12 Days of Christmas, talking about getting three hens for Christmas, two milking goats, and 1 dairy cow. Then the pretty blonde lady talks for a few seconds about giving the gift that keeps on giving, allowing families to thrive, etc, etc. She says something like "how thrilled will grandma be to see you gave a chicken in her name?"

I think they have taken a bit of a light-hearted approach to famine and drought this time, a take off from their "So This is Christmas" ad which makes me cry everytime I see it, almost as much as those WSPA commercials about the dancing bears do. I'm not sure they're tugging at enough heart-strings to get much out of it, which is sad, because like I said, I think it's actually a really great idea.

But, it has left me with a new holiday motto. I swear to you I am not making this up, it is actually in the commercial, but it is officially the response I will give to anyone who asks my advice about buying gifts for people. I will say:

"Why not give a goat?"

T-minus unknown, but I'm gonna do it

I've decided I am definitely cutting my hair off. I just need to find time for an appointment, which I think I might be able to swing this friday.

Anyway, for posterity, here is a photo of me from a few weeks ago:
Please ignore my big giant fat arm.

Anway, my hair was a little wavy (it was actually curly when I left the house at 1pm - this photo was probably taken around 8), so looks a little shorter than it is, but it can give you an idea.

Now, I'm thinking of getting a cut something like this:
With maybe longer bangs.
Or, I also really like this:
I actually think I really like the second one, but I'm a little scared.

Anyway, I'm going to bring my camera with me so I can have some photos taken before, and then when they lop my ponytail off. I hope the stylists will help me get some great shots.

I will never understand the canine digestive system

This morning I fed my dog a frozen strawberry. She was totally into it, because she loves fruit, and she also loves to crunch on ice, so this was like heaven for her. She crunched away for about 3.7 seconds.

Then she walked into the hallway and barfed all over the place. Not just frozen strawberry, but also last night's Greenie.

This she pukes up, but horse shit she has no problem keeping down.

My UGGS arrived today!!!!

I love them! They are so soft, so comfous, so warm, so soft...I'm really really tempted to wear them barefoot, as suggested, but I'm scared I will stink them up and ruin them forever. But they are just so soft, I'm fighting my inner demon trying to resist.

I LOVE THEM!@!@!@!@!@!@!!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@

(I realize how annoying excessive punctuation for effect is, but you just need to understand how much I love them).

I'm so happy, I'm going to wear them to the grocery store. And I haven't even treated the suede yet! Dangerous, but I just need to put them on my feet.

14 inches, flaccid

A few months ago, Sexy Boyfriend's mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. She's been doing great with her treatments, and so far so good, but it's only the second time I've ever known anyone with cancer. The first time was when I was in elementary school, and my neighbor who was a few years older than me had leukemia. I think I have been incredibly lucky, since it seems like this disease is everywhere, affecting everyone.

So, I've been thinking about things we can do - we've donated money to a friend doing a breast cancer walk, but that seems a bit...I don't know, like our little donation is going to make a big huge difference - it's just so obtuse or something. Then I thought about Locks of Love. And I'm thinking about doing it. I've been growing my hair for over a year, I guess, who knows really. I've lost hair direction since becoming a dog-walker - I never style it anymore, just put it in a ponytail - and since I have no ideas about what to do with it, I've just let it grow. And grow. And grow. Now it is quite long - my ponytail measures 14" and most places only require your donation to be 10" long. Hair is just hair, and it will grow back, but I've never cut my hair that short. That part of it is kinda scary, but it is winter and I will most likely be wearing a hat for the next few months.

Has anyone ever done this? What did you think about the whole experience?

For the Record

I just saw the new Hallmark Holiday Item commercial, and I just have a few thoughts about it.

First of all, I hate all of their Holiday Items - the Valentine kiss-kiss bears, some weird thing they had last Christmas, all of them. They are just a scam to get you to buy more cards and waste more paper. Not that I'm a super environmentalist, maybe I'm just a grinch, or scrooge, or whatever.

This year, the item appears to be a little snow scene, I think it was penguins skating, and it's soft and plush and when you squeeze some part of it, it plays a song. How is this kind of item useful? Not at all, that's how. Unless you have a three year old. Or dogs who like to rip the stuffing out of things.

Anyway, in the commercial, they are sitting in an airport, I think it's supposed to be Christmas Eve, and all the flights are delayed. Everyone is upset, depressed, etc (surprisingly no one is rushing the boarding gates demanding the attendants turn off the snow, like on the show Airline). Then Thoughtful Mommy pulls out the Hallmark Holiday Item and gives it to little Timmy, who squeezes it and it starts playing its joyful holiday song. Everyone gathers 'round and they all begin to feel warm and fuzzy, and they sing carols and rejoice. So much rejoicing is going on that they don't even hear that their flights are ready to board.

Baloney, I say. For the record, if I was ever in an airport, even if my flight was on time - hell, let's just say if I was in any public place ever - and someone started playing that tinny Christmas carol music that comes out of those toys, over and over again, I would take it. I would take it away and burn it. If I happened to be in the airport, where lighters and matches are prohibited, I would find some other way of destroying it. And then I would hit Thoughtful Mommy on the head, tell her to smarten up, and tell Timmy his mom is an idiot. And then the people would rejoice.

YOU WIN - but not really - but YOU WIN

eBay is the devil! THE DEVIL, I say!

First of all, you can find anything and everything on eBay. Cordless phone to replace toilet water-logged one? Hundreds of them. Lululemon yoga gear? All sizes and colors. Dog leashes? Yup. Hockey tickets? For every game. You get the picture.

Second of all, the prices are generally pretty cheap. Some of them are just comparable to stores, but overall pretty great. And once you get used to taking the shipping into account along with the price, then you really start to see the good bargains.

Third, it's so easy to place a bid. Just click, and confirm, and you're in.

Fourth, you can WIN things. But only after you WIN, you realize you didn't really WIN, like yay, free stuff, but you WIN the right to pay for the item.

Fifth, eBay is just the devil.

So, this weekend I decided I might want to buy a pair of UGGs. I had bought my sister a pair (on eBay The Devil), and she absolutely loves them and wears them every day, and I did a little research and found some really cute ones with ties and laces and I loved them. So, I found a pair on eBay that I thought I might like, and placed a bid three days ago. I was winning the auction for three days, then started to second guess myself, that maybe I didn't want to buy those boots right now. But then yesterday, about an hour before the auction ended, eBay The Devil sent me a nice email that said that someone had outbid me. Outbid? Me? I couldn't let them win my item without a fight. So I bid again. Now, don't get me wrong, I love these boots, and actually do want them a lot, but right before Christmas, with a bunch of parking tickets to pay, maybe not such a good time to buy boots. But I couldn't let this new bidder, who was just showing up at the last minute trying to cherry-pick MY bargain WIN!!!!

So, I won the boots.

Now I have to figure out how to explain it to SB. I'm afraid he might cut off my internet usage. Or just block eBay The Devil.

It's official

So, I'm officially an idiot. Or I have extremely bad luck.

The other day our living room smelled like cat shit. We keep the cat pooper in the living room, behind a chair, where the dogs can't get to it (I know, gross, but they like to have a tasty snack sometimes), so sometimes right after Simon goes I smell poo for a few minutes. But this smell I had been smelling for a few days, and always from my spot on the sofa, about ten feet from the pooper area.

I had a momentary burst of cleaning energy, and I swept the whole living room floor, pulled out the sofa and swept there, then changed the pooper, then wanted to wash all the sofa accoutrement; the pillowshams, the duvet I cuddle with, etc. So, I started the wash, dumped a bunch of stuff in, and grabbed the duvet and was stuffing it in, when I heard "plop".

My cordless phone was in the folds of the duvet, and even though I had avoided stuffing it through the wash, it flew out of the duvet and into the toilet. I fried my cordless phone by dropping it in the toilet. Wow.

Multi-tasking - perhaps not my forte

Well, now I've done it. I've come down with a cold. I think. I woke up very stuffy and throat very scratchy, then had to run around all day in the rain like a crazy dog-walker...

One of my employees has been off the past three days for a family emergency. I'm hoping she'll be back tomorrow, because, frankly, I'm exhausted. It's one thing to be a walker, which is fun, and sometimes crazy, but the days go by really fast. It's another thing to do that and mind the phone in case someone has an emergency (thank heavens none of the cars broke down this week!) , answering messages, and trying to keep on top of the emails that are coming in.

So, now I'm getting sick. I came home tonight and took a bath, which was actually just so-so since the water didn't seem hot enough, and the tub is never full enough. Then I had some chicken noodle soup (Lipton packet, with the THIN NOODLES - only the thin noodles work.) Now I'm vegging out in front of the TV with a giant headache and an achy back (but with warm feet, Gabby just came and cuddle up on them). I've tried to convince Sexy Boyfriend to bring home Frosties from Wendy's, so hopefully in about ten minutes I'll be cuddled in bed on the heating pad with him eating yummy cold chocolate treat making my throat feel numb.

Another reason against us pro-creating: We're not that observant

This morning was the first day in a a little while that we got to have a nice sleep-in Saturday. Sexy Boyfriend had hockey last night, so he got home pretty late, and by the time he had eaten something, showered, etc, it was about one o'clock before we went to sleep.

So, a nice, cool, Saturday morning sleep-in, we woke up and watched a little TV in bed, then I had to get up because I thought I might pee my pants, and I wanted to say good morning to Simon. Usually he will come in the room when he hears the TV, but not this morning. So I took peek in each room, but didn't see him. Then I called out, and all I heard was the tiniest little "meow". Not even a whole "meow" just a "me..." I moved towards the little cry, but he was quiet, so I called out again and got another "me..." - then I found him.

Sexy Boyfriend locked Simon in the closet OVERNIGHT!!!!

My poor baby kitty! He was so happy when I let him out of there, and followed me into the bedroom, purring so loudly I think our neighbors could hear him.

In other, non-real-life related things, I friggin' hate Jessica on Laguna Beach. She is the biggest loser, and I hate her. First of all, she lets every guy walk all over her, and second of all, I thought she already graduated, but she is still totally on the show all the time, like she just hangs out in Laguna and does nothing. Ugh, I hate her.

Back to Bikram

Yesterday I took my first Bikram yoga class in about three weeks. I haven't had the cash to re-up my membership, so I haven't been able to go.

It was really hard!

I could only do about half of the standing poses (I did each one for one set, since you hold each posture twice) - I felt like I was ready to pass out at some points, but fought through it as best as I could. Ugh. Even though I drank tons of water yesterday, which usually helps me get through the tough bits, I was still trying to put as much effort into the postures as I did when I was at the end of a month of yoga. But my body is so not where it was a month ago! My muscles are tight and resistant, and my joint are all creaky. So, the class was tough, and today I hurt hurt hurt. But, I know that it only gets better, and I still felt really great last night after class. It gives me lots of great energy, and totally clears my mind of stress and things that make me grrrrrr.

On the weekend we weren't able to go to a Halloween party in the country because of some work schedule issues, so I decided to get SB his birthday gift. Long story, but I had bought him a weekend rental for a motorbike (his birthday is in June), but we never had time to use it, so we ended up getting a refund, and he never got a gift. So, Thursday I spent the whole afternoon bidding on eBay and came out of it with some FABULOUS tickets for the hockey game on Saturday night against Toronto. We had such a fantastic time, had a few beers, and the seats were really fabulous. The game went into overtime, then penalty shots, and the Canadiens ended up losing (so sad), but it was very exciting and we couldn't have asked for a better game to see.

My dazzling smile

Yesterday I started using Crest WhiteStrips. I went to the dentist last week, and had a very thorough cleaning, so I thought it was the perfect time to whiten my actual teeth instead of all the fuzzy tartar and plaque that has been building up as I postponed and postponed and postponed again.

The strips are easy enough to use, as far as applying them, however it's kind of annoying keeping them on for 30 minutes. I'm the kind of person who can't leave things alone. If I get popcorn stuck in my teeth at the movies, I will rub my tongue raw trying to get it out instead of leaving it alone until I get home and removing it properly with floss. So, half an hour of these things in my mouth is almost maddening.

Plus, you aren't supposed to swallow the bleach (duh) but when it mixes with your saliva, it kinda bubbles up over the strips, so you have no choice. And it tastes bad. And the strips, with the bubbling of the bleach, feel like they are pulling away from you teeth, so you have to keep running your tongue or finger along them to re-stick them. Then I'm paranoid that I will get the bleach on my clothes, or whatever.

But besides all this, I think they work well. I notice a difference, although I wish they had come with a little whitening guide so you can find what color your teeth are when you start the process, and what color they end up. SB suggested taking digital photos, but I think it wouldn't be as accurate because you'll never have the same lighting. I'll try to remember to post a shot when I'm done my 14 days of treatment.

I just need a little more "me" time

While watching TV the other night, a commercial came on for some kind of learning game for kids. It showed the mom with the kid sitting on her knee playing this game on the TV. It made me think about how terrible I would be as a parent. I don't think I would like to play kid games. I would need a child who likes to do crossword puzzles, or who could play quietly while I did mine. And the child must knit. I would most likely have a hard time concentrating while playing normal kid games. My kid would probably grow up thinking C is for dog just because I wasn't paying attention.

You should need a psych exam to adopt a pet - and maybe to have children, too

It's not often that I come into contact with someone more whacko than I am, but every once in a while I do. Well, this weekend I had another fun encounter with the random schizophrenics of the world.

While driving back from Domino's (yes, the Domino's - the one they opened near my house!!!) Sexy Boyfriend and I saw a German Shepherd puppy wandering into the street. He looked like he was about 4-5 months old, and had a thin chain leash wrapped around his neck (no collar) and dragging behind him.

Sexy Boyfriend didn't even have to ask, he just pulled over and I jumped out of the car. I followed the pup across the road, and was able to get a hold of him. Some people at the bus stop pointed out a woman sweeping some leaves on the sidewalk and said the puppy belonged to her, so I picked him up (the leash was not dependable at all and kept slipping off his head) and went back across the road to return him.

At first I was happy that we knew his owner, and that he would be safe, but as I approached her, I realized I was wrong. She wasn't even looking up, not even aware that he may have wandered anywhere. And then when she finally looked up at me she screamed for me to put the dog down. It was extra frustrating that she couldn't speak english at all, and the only french she knew was "Thank you, bye." She kept yelling all this stuff, and I was trying to explain that her dog needed to be restrained better because he almost got hit by like ten cars when he ran across the road, then she grabbed the leash out of my hand and threw it on the ground. I tried to tell her that it's illegal for a dog to be off-leash in the first place, and that she needs to take better care. She just kept yelling, asking me if I spoke french (which I was speaking to her) and then yelling at me to go. Then she grabbed the leash and started jerking the dog around and yelling at him, then hit him with the broom she had. I SCREAMED at her (I never knew I could react that way to someone) and told her to quit it or I would call the police. When she heard "police" she turned back toward me and started yelling again, meanwhile the dog started to run away again. I ignored her, then reached out and grabbed his leash so he wouldn't become roadkill, then she yelled and HIT ME WITH THE BROOM. By this point Sexy Boyfriend finally came up the sidewalk, and I think she was freaked that we would either take her back to the mother ship for some kind of probing exercise or take the dog away, so she finally started dragging him down the sidewalk by the leash, up into an apartment.

I was so shaken up, so angry, so saddened. That poor puppy has no chance. He will grow up, either with her and become abused, angry and aggressive, or in a pound when she loses him, once he is too big to be cute; untrained, and so, undesirable. Or he will be hit by a car and die. I was crying in the car on the way home. I wish I hadn't crossed the street to bring him back to her. I wish I had just gotten in my car and tried to find him somewhere to live myself.

One year later

A year ago, I was in a pretty bad place. I was having trouble finding out who I was, where I wanted to go, and finding the courage to just do it. I had a hard time reaching out to people, leaning on people, and trusting people. I had very high expectations, not just for myself, but for the people around me. Often, to keep these expectations from not being met, I would withdraw. If the bar is not set, it's impossible to miss. I was spending my days crying in the pharmacy.

But I have come so far, and learned so much.

In the past year I have learned that things really do happen for a reason. That I have drawn from every single thing I have experienced, good and bad, and learned some very valuable lessons.

I learned that I need to listen to my instincts, do what I love, and that's when I will feel the best. Doing 100% at a job that you hate is never going to be fulfilling, ever.

I've learned that medication is fabulous.

I've learned that I need to leave myself open to friends - to reach out to them and be there when they reach out for me. Sometimes people will disappoint you, and sometimes they will betray. But the good ones, they will make you feel full. Full of life and laughter and support. And if they don't make you feel that way, then they aren't worth it.

It's hard for me to believe that a year ago I felt so helpless, and empty. Because now I am happier, healthier, more energetic. I love what I do, I love who I am, and I love everything I have around me - Sexy Boyfriend, my friends, my family, my pets.

All of this to say thank you. Thanks for encouraging me, being my crutch, being patient and supportive. Giving me the confidence to strike out and try something different, and laughing with me when I didn't really want to.

I probably shouldn't be driving yet.

We attended a wedding on Saturday - my friends Bryan and Sylvie got married. The ceremony was lovely, the food was good, and the bar was open.

As with most instances of getting too drunk, I can't remember that moment when I should have said "nothing but water for me for the rest of the night, please" but when i actually said "just give me two sangrias, so I won't have to come back to the bar for 10 minutes."

We had SOOOO much fun - sat at the same table as Ems and her SB, and some other friends from my former job from hell. There was lots of laughing, lots of dancing, corruption of Bry's 16 year old sister, shooters, people who were actually more drunk than we were, and thus very entertaining to us really drunk people. We rented a room across the street, and so did Ems and her SB, so the party kept right on going. I loosely remember crossing the four-lane road carrying my shoes, falling off of my bed (not just falling - tumbling - like gymnastic-style), playing caps, talking with Ems' SB for a very long time, then crawling back to my bed. Cut to a few hours later, around 11:30, when Sexy Boyfriend wakes me up and says we should check out. I was still drunk, for sure, but I think SB was just hungover at that point. I spent the whole day sleeping, trying to keep down water, and then spent the whole evening running to the toilet. I can't remember the last time I was so hungover. Tried to replace liquids and electrolytes by drinking some Gatorade - ended in green vomit. I know, nice, but why hold back? I also have several mystery bruises on my legs which I can't remember getting. I'm pretty sure it wasn't from falling off the bed, but not sure what else it could have been.

Anyway, so today i finally feel like a regular hangover. I dropped the keys for my employees this morning, and now I'm trying to rally myself for my group walk at noon. Ugh.

But I do think we all succeeded in bringing sexy back. What's sexier than Gatorade vomit? Nothing, that's what.

Weekend off, here I come!

Today will be the start of my first weekend off in over a month. I'm very excited, because unlike some weekends off that get spent cleaning, doing laundry, and groaning about all the stuff we have to get done, this weekend we actually have real-live plans!

It all starts tonight, when at 5:30 SB and i are going for a fabulous couples massage. Just a regular massage, but you both get to go in the same room, and there are two masseuses. I can't wait - can't remember the last time I went for a massage, but it's included in our insurance package so it's retarded that we don't go once a month.

Then, tomorrow is my friend Bryan's wedding. The ceremony is at 2pm, so I'll spend the morning sleeping in a bit, then we'll get ready and head over to the church. After that part, the reception is being held at 5, but we and another couple each rented rooms at a hotel nearby, so we will got and check in, and maybe have a few drinks, then head to the hall. I'm really excited, not just because I haven't been to a wedding in ages, but also because it's rare that we get to do couples stuff with my friend Ems and her SB, because of our work schedules, and then they have kids, and finding time is hard. It will be awesome to just relax, have fun, and have a lot of laughs.

Sunday we have no plans as of yet. Hopefully I won't be too hung over, and maybe we'll go out for breakfast or something.

Something in the air

My dog Charlie is officially out of the group.

Every day I have a group of dogs that I bring up the mountain, and lately I've been bringing my dogs too - I never used to be able to because I would have other appointments all through the day, and it was too hot to leave them in the car. But now, more often than not, my group is the only pet work I have, so doggies can come.

Charlie is a basset hound, and tends to follow his nose. When I started bring him to group, he was really good, and chugged along with the rest of the doggies, wanting to get to know them and not really sure of himself yet. Lately, he's been chasing squirrels into the woods, and disappearing for a while, then joining us again, and ya, that's pretty annoying, but he always comes back, and he's having fun, so I let him.

Then today he crossed a line. A line that from this day on will be referred to as The Puke Shit Incident. We were rounding the last bend before the car, and I was gathering everyone back on their leashes when Charlie suddenly barked at a squirrel and darted into the woods. We all started toward the car while I called him, and about a minute later he reappeared and ran to join us. Except he wasn't quite himself. No no, he was covered in The Puke Shit.

It was obvious he had found something quite exciting in the woods and rubbed his whole head and shoulders and neck in it, but what it was - well, who knows, really? It was yellowish, and slimy, and squished into his fur, but also smelled a little like poo, but looked like puke, hence the name Puke Shit. Before getting him in the car I wiped him off with all I had - some Lysol apple sented wipes. That sure made it smell nicer.

When we got home he went right to the tub, where I rinsed and scrubbed and soaped (in my clean as of yesterday tub - ugh!). He didn't get the good doggie shampoo, either. No, he got the discount kind because I had to use about half a bottle to get all the Puke Shit out of his fur. He was shaking and whining, and when we were finally done he jumped out of the tub and laid on some towels I had prepared. I kept the door closed so he couldn't get anything in the house wet while I showered and re-rinsed the tub. When I got out of the shower, he was licking and whining and shaking water off of him. Ya, like being wet and clean is SO bad compared to being covered in Puke Shit.

And so to get back at him, I give you this:

It must be a full moon

My mother has bursted my Mr. Clean bubble. On my advice, she purchased the mr. Clean bathroom doohicky, and when I squealed with delight and asked her how she liked it she said "oh, it's okay - I guess it just didn't clean my tub as clean as I would like it." I was hurt. I was devastated. I questioned my own bathroom's cleanliness. Then I remembered that my mother's version of clean is performing open heart surgery on it, and then serving up some Thanksgiving dinner on it. And then licking it. That clean. So then I used mine again, and sure enough, clean clean clean.

I have had a very terrible couple of days with my work doggies. They are all misbehaving and running off into the woods and making me mad, and then puking and diarrheaing everywhere, and the weirdest puke I've ever seen - puke that was pink and looked like cat vomit, but dog-sized. Oh, and bashing me in the face and giving me a fat lip, which went down, but then the next day my whole jaw felt like I had been in a bar-room brawl and forgot about it. So, I think there is a full moon. But have not confirmed it, although I'm sure all I would have to do is Google full moon schedule and it would tell me. But I prefer to at least pretend there is a full moon and thus an explanation for Terrible Doggie Week.

However, my week has been less eventful than my employee/friend Maria's. We have been seeing this one guy mountain biking all the time in the woods, and we both say hi to him, but because she sees him about 10 times a day and I see him once, sometimes they make small talk. Today as she was coming down the hill, she saw him sitting in the woods - he had fallen coming down a steep incline and sliced open his leg, right down to the bone. So much excitement!!! So she leashed the dogs, helped him and his bike down the mountain, and drove him to the hospital. Apparently he's okay. It was either because of the rain, and the rocks were slippery, or it was the full moon.

Fun with pets

I've been doing the yoga for about a month now. I can't say enough about how much I love doing this yoga. It's always challenging, but there is always something that happens - I can get into a pose a little further, I can hold one a little longer, one that killed me yesterday is easier today - that makes the class amazing, and I always feel like I'm high when I leave there.

One thing I am hating/loving about yoga - I have not lost any weight. Well, maybe like five pounds or something, but nothing major considering four or five weeks of work. However, I'm pretty sure I've put on some muscle, and I'm also pretty sure I have lost some inches on my thighs. Now I am kicking myself that I didn't take all my measurements from the beginning, because to me results, of any kind, are very motivating.

In other news, I picked up some cheapo kids Halloween costumes at the grocery store today. I plan on dressing up some work doggies and putting their photos on the website, but of course we needed to do a test run, which involved putting my animals in said costumes and laughing my ass off. I will post photos when I have uploaded them so that you may also laugh your ass off.

Revenge of the gut

Why is it so hard to find a nice, simple, boob-friendly dress? I spent the whole weekend hunting in two different malls and one outlet village for a dress. Nothing fancy. Preferably jersey knit because I am a chubby little one, bordering on plus-sized, and, generally, structured dresses or shirts or anything don't fit right in at least one area or another.

I need the dress for a wedding. I have only been to one wedding since I was twelve, and it was outdoors and not so formal. This wedding I'm going to is not formal, but not outside either, so no gown, but I would rather wear a cute dress than a skirt/top thing. Plus, I don't own any dresses, so it's a good opportunity to branch out a bit.

I tried on sheath dresses. I tried on sleeveless. I tried on halter. I tried on long sleeves, three quarter, and short. I tried on flutter sleeves. I tried on v-neck. I tried backless. I tried on wrap. I tried on prints, solids, stripes, polka-dots. I must have tried at least 75 dresses, and of those that I could actually fit in to, only three were "maybes". I just want a dress I can love. And that loves me. And my chub.

Ha Ha Ha - the joke's on them!

I got the best news in the mail today!!! Are you ready for this?

There is FINALLY a Domino's pizza in my neighborhood!!!

Okay, so maybe it's not so exciting to some people, but we have been living here for four years, and whenever I feel like Domino's we have to drive 20 minutes, because we don't live in Dominoville and they don't deliver here. And there is something about domino's that makes me crave it - and it's naughty cheesy bread. I will be ordering a medium vegetarian tonight. And some naughty cheesy bread.

In other news, I may have a fun surprise for my fellow yoga enthusiasts this afternoon. I must admit, I only thought of it after ingesting my entire lunch, but it's probably not such a good idea to eat a bean and cheese burrito three hours before class. Ya, sorry about that Maria.

Singing the praises of the Mr. of Clean

My dog Gabby had some minor surgery today. She has had what we call, so fondly, The Eye Wart, for like six years. It's a cyst-type thing on her eyelid (like where your eyelashes are). We had it removed four years ago because it was ugly, and I thought it might scratch her cornea. It was great for about a year or two, then it grew back, meaner and uglier than ever. Actually, it wasn't as bad as it had been until about six months ago when it started to grow, then EXPLODE, then recede, then grow, then EXPLODE, etc. And when I say explode, I mean giant glops of grossness everywhere.

So, in she went for the *final* removal (since she's 12, I doubt she'll live through another four years of the grow, grow, grow, grow, grow, grow, EXPLODE cycle). We joked with the technicians that she was going in for some minor cosmetic surgery, and that if they could do a bit of lipo while they had her under, that would be great. I'm glad that she didn't have to stay overnight, and she made it through fine, but now she has two stiches in her eyelid, and has to wear one of those lampshade things until they come out.

In other news, I bought one of those Mr. Clean bathroom cleaners today - it's like a Swiffer, but has a spongy pad on the end and you use it to clean the tub and shower. It's fucking awesome. It's going to change my life, I know it. I hate cleaning the shower, but love having a clean shower. I hate how you always get cleaner or water all over you, so I usually clean the shower naked or barely clothed and shower directly after. I also hate the reaching and stretching and impossible angles associated with a really great tub clean. Well, these are problems no more my friends. Mr. Clean is my new man. I cleaned the whole shower/tub in like five minutes, and it was not clean. not clean at all. Definitely the best product I've found in quite some time.

Hallelujah

I have some fantastic news everyone!!! My iBook is now officially wireless! We've been putting off buying a wireless card since buying the business, and then I finally got one last week but experienced a few *complications* during set-up, but I'm finally up and running! I'm so happy, cause this means that all my hours of TV watching can now be multi-tasking time again instead of just vegging. It also means that I can write my blog entries where I feel most comfortable, on my sofa, instead of in the stupid office. Yay!

So, last week was pretty uneventful, except for one day in which some HORRIBLE things happened to me.

First of all, I went to my yoga class, and it was the last day of my period and I felt terrible. I could barely do any of the standing postures, which happened when I first started classes, so I thought maybe I had just skipped too many days. But then, I could barely do any of the floor postures because I felt like puking, which has NEVER happened before. I was very discouraged, and sad, but the good news is I went back two days later and was able to do every posture, which I've only done three times.

Also, one of my favorite doggies got a little crazy at the dog park, and ran smack into my shin with his skull. I have a giant bruise and for three days felt like I had shin splints or a hairline fracture. Fine now, although it's pretty ugly to look at.

And last but not least, I got a bug stuck in my ear. Ew. A tiny black fly, and I heard it buzz in there and tried to pop it out, but think I just smooshed it. When I finally got home at 3 I used a Qtip to extract the body, and lots of bloodiness (I'm assuming from the body, because I didn't have any scabbing or anything). I felt like my ear was still feeling weird, so around bedtime I Qtipped again and found MORE of the body. AAAAACCCCCHHHHHHH. But then it was all gone. I think I'll start walking with ear muffs.

A little homework for you

Five years ago today, I woke up, stumbled out of bed, poured a bowl of cereal and sat down to watch some TV before driving into the city to finalize my travel plans. It was two days before I was due to leave on a month-long jaunt to Europe, my consolation prize for not getting in to the law school I wanted. (Turned out to be a fantastic turn of events, cause I did my creative writing degree instead, and am 99.9% sure if I had gone to law school I would have murdered myself or someone I loved due to sleep deprivation and general anxiety issues).

Anyway, so I was munching on my breakfast, SB was almost out the door to class, and I'm watching the Today show and they cut to footage of a plane running into the World Trade Center.

Things changed for everyone that day. And even though I don't like to look at things like that with a "woe is us" attitude, I didn't, and still don't, consider it melodramatic to share in the sorrow of that day. Everyone, everywhere (I did end up taking my trip, and met lots of people all across Europe, and had lots of conversations about the attack) lost a confidence that had once been inherent, not an innocence, but a sureness of what the dangers in our lives are, and what we are safe from. That things like that just don't happen. Then suddenly they did happen. And suddenly there was this global awareness that anything, literally any thing, could happen at any moment and change everything.

I don't generally draw a whole lot of inspiration from things I see in the media (maybe because I mostly watch Law & Order and CSI and if they inspired me to do something, I would be in jail or the looney bin by now) But today, among all the 9/11 stuff on Ellen there was a segment, about a woman named Ann Nelson who had saved a copy of her "100 things to do before I die" list, and then she died in the World Trade Center, and her mom found the list on her laptop like three years later, and now it's been published in all kinds of newspapers, magazines, and on TV.

I think it's the most important list to have. I think in writing it, you outline what is most important to you and by re-visiting it you can see your own growth, and remind yourself of your identity. I also think it is something that needs to be shared - and not necessarily while you're around. It's like an emotional will, and by leaving it behind, it can remind people of the fabric you were made up of. Especially if you keep track of what you've actually done and what you haven't.

So, everyone, write your lists. And share them, or don't. But have them, and use them. Make them bold. Make them full of big things. I'm going to write mine. But I haven't decided if I'll share it or not.